Guilt

I just saw the tot off on the bus with K., who is graciously taking him off my hands for a bit so I can work without interruptions (thank you!).

He cried and held out his arms as they were walking away. I felt guilty - deeply.

Now, logically, I know a couple things: (1) He was likely absolutely fine by the time the bus hit the corner. (2) He was likely only crying while I was in earshot to try to get me to change my mind. (3) He is absolutely safe/fine with K. (4) He will have a much better time at the park with her than sitting around here getting barked at because I am trying to work. (5) I will work a lot better without being distracted. (6) I never leave him for my own amusement, but only ever for work, etc., and finishing this degree well is for the good of us all.

So, yes, logically, I know these things. And that it is only a short little while, so I shouldn't feel guilty for the once-in-a-blue-moon that I do it, and that it is good for him to get some time away from me, etc, etc... But, I have to admit, I totally fell for it, and I feel like such a mean mommy right now.

We had such a lovely morning together that I miss him already. His little crying face does not improve that feeling.

Ugh. There is no guilt like mommy guilt. :(

***

Sigh - Well, I better make the most of my time, so I can at least feel that it was worth it for me, and him, and K., who I am sure has stuff she could have been doing today instead of helping us out. Today: Practice lecture; Finish up some Q&A stuff. GO GO GO!