Resolutions, 2011 Edition

2010 has been quite a year. I had my first professional fiction published, got my first academic job and my first real interview (coming up in January!), finished and received my PhD... All that has been wonderful. I have also spent the entire year living hand to mouth without a job, scraping and dodging, and trying to come up with every month's rent like a crisis. I guess you could say 2010 has been the best of times and the worst of times. I'm kind of glad it's over, but I have done a lot and made a lot of progress, so I am happy it went the way it did. It could have been more comfortable, but we survived.

So, now, in the last week of 2010 - some goals for the upcoming year.

1. To continue writing and improving at my writing, since i does make me happy, but to make it a smaller part of my waking hours.

2. To increase my academic publishing and conference record for the CV.

3. To continue to strive for a permanent teaching job, or, failing that, to secure term-by-term contracts all year so I don't have to deal with unemployment in 2011. Or, failing even that, to save as much as I can during the good times so the lean times won't be so stressful.

4. To do really, really well at my teaching - I need good evaluations for the job hunt, and I want to make myself proud of me.

5. To generally live a better life. Be healthier, keep a better home, stay on top of things and be less stressed. To enjoy my time with the tot more, and be a happier person. To have a better life, in all the big and small ways I can do that.

Happy 2011!

panicky

I have anxiety nausea, for some reason, and a deep feeling of dread, like bad things are going to happen. I hope it's just a weird paranoia feeling that will pass, but it is making me antsy. Trying to take a few deep breaths and calm down, but it's not working so far.

I have a ton of work to do tonight, but I am thinking of hitting the hay early with a book. Then again, doing some of that work might alleviate my anxiety, so I don't know.

Holy Carp - So Behind

This last week of sickness has really blown my plans to hell and back. I had been procrastinating a bit in "early December," thinking I could recoup later... but, then, chest colds hit and now I am boned. Now it is nearly "end of December," and I haven't even put a dent in my list, really - actually, I have even added tasks. :(

Work that Needs Immediate Attention:

• Need to complete Valentine's Day short story ASAP
• Need to re-write academic chapter ASAP
• Need to write 17 articles for an encyclopedia project by Jan 15 (new paying gig, added this week)
• Need to prep for my courses (ongoing)
• Need to finish up day care paperwork today so I can take it in tomorrow
• Bills and banking and such ASAP
• Prep for job phone interview...? (Not even sure how exactly to prep for that.)
• Try to get a handle on housework before teaching starts, esp laundry.

I also have a couple nifty blog posts in mind to do when I have a moment, so we'll see if I have some time. I will at least do my end of year wrap up and resolutions at some point this week. I would really like to finish up and polish my NaNo novel so I can submit it, so I can start on my Winter 2011 novel project. sigh... I'm going to stop thinking of what I need to do now, since the list just keeps growing.

WORK WORK WORK...

Merry Bogartmas!

... and a Happy New Year!

So Bizarre

I was Googling myself (you know, like one does occasionally to see what's out there), and I came across someone's thesis in PDF that uses extensively a chapter I wrote a couple of years ago. It's an odd feeling to read oneself written about like a real expert.

Very, very odd.

A Social Network Christmas

busy, busy, busy

Getting my two course sites up and running - brand new finalized syllabi are up in PDF, no less. I also designed the rough drafts for the term paper instructions and midterm for my in-class course, and marked out a time management plan on a separate calendar to make sure I can handle all the marking that comes with 160 students (100 first years; 60 third years).

I am also catching up on a bunch of academics-related emails that had fallen by the wayside while I fought off the plague - an editor of an encyclopedia wants to know if I can write them some entries, and some grad student wants me to participate in a panel discussion, and I had to do some follow up on some RA work and a job application.

The next couple of weeks will be dedicated to reading ahead for both courses, preparing lectures in advance (my in-class course and one guest lecture), re-writing that chapter, and doing those two Valentine's Day short stories. I also want to finish and edit my NaNo novel so I can submit it to a publisher in January... That's a lot to do, with not a lot of time to do it.

Also, as a side note, the tot has discovered that claiming to need to go poop in the potty is a great way to defer bedtime for at least 20 minutes. Kid's an evil genius for sure.

Sickness; Parenting Woes

Sprout is fairly ill - fever and a bad cough. He's a trooper, but he was really sluggish today. Now I feel my chest starting to ache, as well.

I've also been a little obsessed with coaxing him to talk more, since daycare is making me panicky (places like that love to label kids, and I don't want him stuck with three different forms of therapy this year or something).

Uh oh - I hear a coughing tot. Must go.

It's a Deal

We visited the daycare today, and it was, indeed, lovely. Tot loved it - I know it will be a different thing when he is there without me, but I have confidence he will adjust to it. It's a nice place, safe and well-run. All will be well.

I plunked down the down payment, so his spot is all scheduled. He starts January 4th, and will be there Mondays and Tuesdays for the rest of the term.

The only hitch is that they expect me to pay for January's care by the end of December, which is a bit tight, but I think I can juggle it all. The important thing is that everything is going ahead as planned, and the tot will be fine when I am teaching.

So, now to move ahead with preparing my course, since it's really real now.

Daycare!

I found an actual daycare! It was touch and go, and everything seemed full, but this one is just down the street (!!), has its own playground, and has a music teacher. I couldn't get one day a week, like I wanted, as they have a two day minimum, so he'll be there Mondays and Tuesdays. Mondays I teach on campus, so I guess I can make Tuesdays my online course day.

We go tomorrow to see the place and talk to the staff, and fill out the paper work if we like it. I have walked past there many times, and it seems ideal, so I am not too concerned it won't pass the look-see test. I am kind of sad, but am so pleased I managed to find him a good situation so I can do my course.

Now, I am actually thinking of getting a cell phone, if you can believe it!

icky feeling

I hate that feeling you get when a hunch tells you someone is mad at you, but they don't just say so. That guilty paranoia - makes me sick to the tummy.

:(

Potty Progress

YAY! The tot just went potty all by himself for the first time!

I was sitting, working, and I heard this watery sound, and I ran into the bathroom to see what he was up to, only to find proud little man pointing down into his potty to show me what he'd done.

Mommy is very, very happy.

Naked time is definitely the way to potty train.

***

ETA: This pee was swiftly followed up by a Number Two in the potty, again on his own initiative. He then hopped in the tub to wash himself without being told. Man, when this kid finally gets a concept, he runs with it!

Sanctimonious Cow

I just got lectured about how hard it is on children to only be in daycare one day a week by some yuppie daycare cow. Yes, because stowing my child in their baby warehouse five days a week like some business-hour orphan is so much nicer for him, I am sure.

And I suppose the massive cost of Monday-Friday daycare has nothing to do with their concerns over my child's one-day-a-week arrangements. I am sure.

Gah!

The End of the Rope

Today has been nuts. I got two good reviews on two different holiday books, discovered one of them is on a seller's best sellers list, and finally got to see my new cover for the May 2011 novel. Oh, and the magazine featuring my article finally came from the UK - no check yet, though.

This same day, I discovered I have zippo childcare options open to me, so I have no idea if I can teach next term. I also had someone threaten to sue me, since they claim they own the copyright to the title of my aforementioned best seller, so now it's been pulled from all venues until it can be renamed and a new cover can be made, and I will have to re-start the PR campaign.

I am also getting low on supplies, and this storm is making everything ten times more difficult, as lugging a toddler in a foot of snow is not conducive at all to grocery shopping. I have also not heard back about my phone interview, so I guess that is probably dead now.

And just now, I stepped on the tot's favourite new Sesame Street cup, which he left, filled with orange juice, sitting in the hallway on the floor. Another thing for the trash bag.

So, now I am broken.

argh

Well, spending the day trying to figure out childcare for next term so I can teach (yeah, I know - I'm a little late). It looks like there is nothing available, so I'll likely have to turn to whomever has hung their shingle, which makes me want to vomit with anxiety. The thought of leaving him with some random somebody... Good Lord, this is not what I had in mind when I decided to reproduce.

It's either that or give up the job, and I think if I quit now, just weeks before the already-full course was supposed to start, I can pretty much kiss my teaching career goodbye.

This sucks.

How To Know Whether Or Not You Are Ready To Have Children:

MESS TEST:

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST:

Obtain a 55 gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing tacks).

Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake the child.

GROCERY STORE TEST:

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST:

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST:

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls off soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more songs and sing these too until 4:00 a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST FOR SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS:

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil.

Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST:

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies, mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.

PHYSICAL TEST: (Women)

Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now, remove the beans and let the bag just hang there.

PHYSICAL TEST: (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the manager's office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT:

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.

Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

s'okay

I have a really nasty headache - right in my left temple - so I am not working or doing much of anything at my usual speed. However, other than that I am generally okay. My syllabus is coming along fine - I just have a few more readings to find and add.

Oh, and I got my sales report for October 2010 - my short book released on Oct 10 sold 20 copies in October. Now, that only adds up to about $4 for me, but a copy a day is not that bad. A little sad if you compare it to Oprah's book club, but, for me, I'm not too disappointed.

Going away from the computer for a while to let my head rest.

Happy Holidays!

All I want for Hanukkah is a tankard of coffee... Please.