How To Know Whether Or Not You Are Ready To Have Children:

MESS TEST:

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST:

Obtain a 55 gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing tacks).

Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake the child.

GROCERY STORE TEST:

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST:

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST:

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls off soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more songs and sing these too until 4:00 a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST FOR SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS:

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil.

Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST:

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies, mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.

PHYSICAL TEST: (Women)

Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now, remove the beans and let the bag just hang there.

PHYSICAL TEST: (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the manager's office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT:

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.

Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

44 Incredible Seconds

Created by Oatmeal

A Survey for Friday

Because I can't sleep, here's a random survey from Katie's blog to fill a post on a Friday:

1. Initials: HAP.
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: Trent Reznor; Enya; Craig Ferguson; Bill Paxton; Dennis Hopper (none in the same year, though).
3. When was your last kiss? Minutes ago.
4. For or against same sex marriage? For.
6. Are you bisexual? They say everyone is to some extent, don't they?
7. Do you believe in God? Depends on what is happening at the time.
8. How many US states have you been to? Ohio, New York, Michigan, Pennsylvania.
9. How many of the US states have you lived in? Depends on how you define the term "lived."
10. Have you ever lived outside the US? Ummm... My whole life?
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: My hair and eyes.
12. Name something non-physical you like about yourself: My humour and brains.
13. What is the current rumor traveling around about someone? Ha ha - Not going to trap me with that one. It'll change as soon as I type it, anyway.
14. What is your dream car? One that doesn't run on fossil fuels and doesn't pollute.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Nova Scotia.
16. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone? Probably... Don't recall.
17. How many concerts have you gone to? Not many - I like CDs - cheaper and every seat is front row.
18. Do you download music? I have.
19. How many illegal things have you done? Not many, but see #18.
20. Where would you want to go on a first date? Depends on the mood.
21. Would you date the person who posted this? What? You mean originally?
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Ha ha - all the time.
23. Ever been kissed under fireworks? Likely, but I don't recall.
24. Do you like president Bush? I don't know him.
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? No.
27. Have you ever crashed a car? I was in a fender bender with someone else driving, but, since I don't drive myself, no, I have never crashed one personally.
28. Has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you? Yes.
29. Have you met a real redneck? How real is real?
30. Are you interested in anyone right now? I hope so, since I'm married. Luckily, it's the same guy.
31. What song are you listening to right now? The crows outside on my street, and the sounds of Murph sleeping.
32. What is your current favorite song? Changes by the minute - "I Wish it Would Rain" by the Temptations is a constant favourite, though, amongst others.
33. What was the last movie you watched? Ugh - the "remake" (desecration?) of The Heartbreak Kid. Spotty, at best.
34. Who was the last person that told you they loved you? Murph.
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? The corner store.
36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? No.
37. Ever hit someone of the opposite sex? When I had to.
39. What's the first thing(s) you notice about the opposite sex? Their volume. Then their shoes.
40. What turns you on? Depends on my mood.
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks? Anything that doesn't cost more than $5.
42. What is one of your sexual fantasies? No comment.
44. Tell something totally weird about yourself: I love the feeling of cleaning my ears.
45. Do you have an i-pod? No. CDs for me, still, I'm afraid.
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yes, but I don't think they meant "look a lot like."
47. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Of course.
48. Do you have braces? Nope - I never have.
49. Are you comfortable with your height? Sure - if I were taller, my legs would be too short.
51. When do you know it's love? What kind of question is that?
52. Do you speak any other languages besides English? Yes, but not as well as I would like.
53. What kind of alcohol do you enjoy while out? I don't drink.
54. What magazines do you read? Print mags are dead.
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No.
56. Has anyone you were close with passed away? Not really close, unless you count non-humans.
58. What’s something that really annoys you? Many, many things.
59. What's something you really like? Good food, naps, movies, reading, Star Trek, hugs from Murph... Many things, really.
60. Do you like Michael Jackson? Anyone who says they never did is a liar - but I can't say I am a fan now, no.
61. Can you dance? Depends on how you define "can." Do I have the physical ability to move? Yes.
62. Have you ever surfed? No.
63. Do you know how to pump gas? No, but I would like to think I could figure it out.
64. Do you drive? No.
65. What was the latest you have ever stayed up? Ha ha - funny question. I think I found new hands on the clock to describe how late I've been up.
66. Have you ever thought you were honestly going to die? Yes.
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? No - ambulances cost money, don't they?
68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do? Who hasn't?

Do I Meet the Challenge?

You scored as Adorable, Adorable 95% Awesome 90% Astonishing 75% Aggravating 30% Annoying 20% Murph's First Challenge created with QuizFarm.com

5 Important Songs

I got this from 42K: "This is the meme. Write about 5 or 10 (or so) songs that had an impact on your life, and tag five people to carry on."

Well, firstly, I am not going to tag anyone, but feel free to do it. Secondly, this isn't as easy as it looks. What does he mean my "impact"? Anyhoo, I picked 5 songs of importance, songs that seem to flavour my life (in no real order).

1)"What a Good Boy" (The Barenaked Ladies). This song means something very special between my husband and I, involving memories, experiences and plans, and so forth. He'll understand why it's on here, but I think I will leave it at that.

2)"G-d Save Ireland" (T.D. Sullivan). This song, though a bit more militaristic than I usually like to be, does inspire me. Sure I don't plan on dying on the gallows or the battlefield any time soon, but this song does help me when I lack courage.

3)"Farewell to Nova Scotia" (Traditional). A sweet bit of home, which always gets me in a deep place.

4) "Rock You Like a Hurricane" (Scorpions). OK, so by far the silliest entry, but one with good cause. This is my "pump song." I mentally sing this before every presentation I have to give. It makes me smile, distracts me, and generally makes me feel better. Ludicrous, but effective.

5) "At This Moment" (Billy Vera and the Beaters). I have no idea why I have decided to add this, but this song was the one playing when I was kissed for the first time. Somehow, it seemed like a fitting thing to kick off my romantic career.

Trying to Get Back into the Swim of the Lake Blogtastic

Have my brain on autopilot until it is time to give Murph a call. Travel is stressful on the soul and body. I could use a stretch out and a nap. But, in the meantime, I am wading through the 100+ blog posts I have missed out there. You all suddenly decided to get prolific on me while my back was turned, eh?

So here's something non-demanding, stolen from this guy. News from my trip tomorrow, if I can think of something that might interest you... and pics, too.

1. What is your occupation?
Grad Student.

2. What color are your socks right now?
NONE!

3. What are you listening to right now?
The bathroom fan... cars outside... isolation, if that makes a sound.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Some pizza, as the cupboard was bare.

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
I cannot drive at all - does that make me a freak?

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Green. Sensible, with style - and everyone likes green.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
The pizza guy... but hubby is next.

8. How old are you today?
29. And that's the last time I will ever admit that.

9. Favorite drink:
Non alcoholic: Coffee.
alcoholic: None, really... though a Jamiesons once and a while is ok.

10. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Show jumping, figure skating... Hockey, I guess, too; at least it's a short-ish game. ANYTHING but baseball, please.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes.

12. Any piercings?
Yes. (No details offered.)

13. Pets?
I am sort of between pets right now, as I lost mine in custody battle... though I have two step-cats in Ohio I am pretty fond of, and consider myself an auntie to two pretty adorable ferrets.

14. Favorite food?
Chick peas; celery; strawberries; mushrooms; mashed potatoes (if done right).

15. What was the last movie you watched?
Murph and I spent our last couple of hours together snuggled down in front of Over the Hedge... Couldn't really tell you what it was about, actually.

16. Favorite day of the year?
January 10th.

17. What do you do to vent anger?
I blog with fire in the belly.

18. What was your favorite toy as a child?
My imagination (lame, but true).

19. What is your favorite fall or spring?
Fall, because it lasts longer and leads to winter, while spring seems non-existent in Onatrio and leads to the hell that is summer.

20. Hugs or kisses?
As many of either as possible if from Murph... as little as possible of both from others, thanks.

21. Cherries or Blueberry?
Cherries. Blueberries are not kind on my tummy.

22. Living arrangements?
In exile alone in Ontario for now - my heart is currently in Ohio.

23. When was the last time you cried?
This morning.

24. What is on the floor of your closet?
Boxed books.

25. What did you do last night?
Made some memories.

26. Favorite smells?
Dill pickles; fresh coffee; vanilla; Murph's shirts; blossoms on warm wind; pipe tobacco.

27. Favorite dog breed?
Jack Russell, I think... though mutts have an undeniable charm. Anything but Pomeranian.

28. Favorite day of the week?
Tuesdays.

29. How many states have you lived in?
States? Pfft! For the record, though: Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Ontario, and sorta-Ohio.

30. Favorite holiday?
Passover; Valentine's.

Ahh... This Will Do Nicely...

I have returned with freshly stolen content!

• Explain what ended your last relationship? Fate.
  
• When was the last time you shaved? Shaved what?
• What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Sleeping, likely also drooling and possibly screaming.
• What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Eating a popsicle and reading TMZ for fun.
  
• Are you any good at math? Theoretical or applied?
  
• Your prom night? Was a long, long time ago.
• Do you have any famous ancestors? They tell me a couple, but my family lies for sport. I believe Patrick Pearse, though... And Abraham, I guess.
  
• Have you had to take a loan out for school? HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, my, HAVE I! The federal NDP aren't on office, yet, fella.
  
• Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile? WTF?
  
• Last thing received in the mail? Junk, pay stub, health card renewal paper work... buck-eye post card (awww).
  
• How many different beverages have you had today? Coffee, water, cola and tea.
• Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machine? Sometimes.
  
• Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Does county fair count? In which case, likely Trooper, sadly.
  
• Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? Who's at the beach that long? Like I want skin cancer.
  
• What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had? I had a stubborn baby tooth cut out... then my mum bought me a forbidden Coke as a treat, and it dribbled out of my mouth due to freezing. Sad day.
  
• What is out your back door? Who can afford a back door? (See loans question.)
  
• Any plans for Friday night? Write a paper for a conference I don't want to go to.
  
• Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? Ocean hair stinks. And gets stiff.
  
• Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? No, but I have benefited from someone else's, and it was lovely. My birthday is on May 17th, btw... hint, hint.
  
• Have you ever been to a planetarium? Yes. Lasers rock.
  
• Do you re-use towels after you shower? Yes, of course. I don't live in the Sheridan... and even then I would. Hot water for a once-used towel from someone who just showered is a waste. I'm a David Suzuki-raised kid, you know.
  
• Some things you are excited about? Not sure... ask me later.
  
• What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O? They're made with hooves, you know.
  
• Describe your keychain(s)? A Canada key chain found on the quad at Mt A, and an Ohio key chain bought on my honeymoon... like a tiny altar to the immigration-luck deities.
  
• Where do you keep your change? In my jeans, in a bowl, in a jar, in my little pouch, in my laundry fund tin, and all over my floor.
  
• When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? Frighteningly often.
  
• What kind of winter coat do you own? Black trench.
  
• What was the weather like on your graduation day? Which one? High School: Muggy and nasty.
  
• Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Open. No kids... yet.
  

Oh, and post title I wish I had thought of first? This one.

Lame Movie; Accurate Quiz

Which Romantic Movie is Your Life?
Sleepless in Seattle You fell in love from a distance. His/her blog or profile struck you and you knew that even though you had never met, you were totally meant to be. This is a great way to fall in love because you get to know the person before you meet. Don't be too disappointed though if he/she does not turn out to be everything you imagined. Just remember what you saw in him or her online or from afar and that will help you through the rocky patches.
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Fair 'Nuff

What is your political orientation?
Tree-Hugging Liberal You're a Tree-Hugging Liberal! You love the trees and you'd probably sell your own mother to save a mile of forestation. You love civil liberties and some view you as a little crazy with your beliefs.
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Time, or Lackthereof

Time is the killer that stalks us all... All I hear is the ticking of that hideous clock!

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!

Actually, it isn't all that Poe. I'm just kind of stressed, and a wee bit screwed. I keep getting myself into these things, don't I?

But, yeah... just so I'm not completely wasting this post, here's something at least, I guess:

What Mythological Creature Are You?

***You Are a Centaur***

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person.
However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways.
You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order.
You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

Also note that tinkering for the Big 1000 Post mark has already begun - be patient! The new colour-scheme may be just temporary -- Expect a steady tinker-process to follow! Feedback is appreciated, as always.

Stolen from Catherine...

I swiped this from Catherine, as I have not much new material to report tonight. I am just now filling it out as we speak, but I think I can almost ALWAYS guarantee that any survey I take will ALWAYS result in the coveted "No Life" verdict.

There are 190 movies here. SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 80 of these movies, you have no life, so mark the ones you've seen and let me know what you score!

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

Total: 8/10

(x) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchor Man: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates

Total: 3/10

(x) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 4/10

(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
(x) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch.
( ) Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch

Total: 7/11

( ) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1978)
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2004)
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
(x) I, Robot

Total: 6/10

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt

Total: 6/11

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination2
( ) Final destination3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring (Ringu)
( ) The Ring 2 (Ringu2)

Total: 3/12

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 6/9

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter

Total: 7/11

( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II

Total: 3/10

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
(x) Frailty

Total: 5/10

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China

Total: 7/10

(x) X-Men
( ) X2
( ) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Others
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick

Total: 1/14

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( ) Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman

Total: 4/10

( ) Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi
(x) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks

Total: 8/11

(x) Air Force One
( ) For Richer or Poorer
(x) Trainspotting
(x) People Under the Stairs
(x) Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap
(x) Parent Trap Re-make
(x) The Birds
(x) The Terminator
( ) Terminator-2
( ) T-3

Total: 9/12

(x) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
(x) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Sleepy Hollow
( ) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out

Total: 5/9

( ) Thirteen
( ) Manic
(x) American History X
( ) Deep Blue Sea
(x) George of the Jungle
(x) Canadian Bacon
( ) Big Black Titties
( ) How High
( ) The Jacket
(x) My Little Pony 1986

Total: 4/10

So, yes. A whopping 96. I don't know where Catherine gets her information or her special, eerie powers, but her little system here has adequately predicted the fact that I do, indeed, have no life.

That's all you really need to know about me, I guess. I'm a loser, and I like movies. Cool, huh?

Ten Things I Love About Me

A dear V.I.F. (Very Important Friend) of mine has posted a meme on her MySpace blog because she was tagged. Luckily, she did not tag me, but I liked the idea and needed material, so I swiped it.

The original question was "ten facts about me." I have modified it. Since it is the butt-end of winter and we are all more likely than not a bit droopy these days, I decided to confine the facts to things I am pleased over in myself. That is, this is an ego-stroking list of positives about Holly.

I will not tag anyone, as tagging seems a bit heavy-handed and smacks of chain letter harassment, but I do encourage anyone who is so inclined to make out their own positives lists. Everyone needs a pat on the back once in a while, and a pat on the back from yourself is a pretty rare treat for most of us. Ten of them makes one giddy.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1) I am impressed by my own hair to a stupid degree. I think I read that part in Little Women too often as a kid where Jo cuts her hair and it is agreed that her former locks had been her "one true beauty." The end result is that I put a lot of stock in that hair to take over the function of my attractiveness. Most importantly, I like it - it is super long, and I have to do absolutely nothing to it except wash it and brush it to have a pretty nice 'do. That is a combination of convenience and effect that I like to see.

2) I am the first person in my immediate family to graduate from high school, let alone get a Master's Degree, and work towards a PhD. I am proud of that - I feel like I am the generational proof of evolution. My folks, who are not educated themselves but who valued it, encouraged where encouragement was needed, and I have reached a level completely unpredicted by my origins. I am generally self-made, and I gain confidence from thinking about that.

3) There are only two, maybe three, people in my extended social circle whose knowledge of film history/movie trivia/Hollywood dialogue rivals my own. And I am not sure there is anyone amongst my acquaintance who can challenge my knowledge of Hollywood's Golden Era. I consider myself a film maven, which is a cool side-line, no?

4) I look really kick-ass in boots. I mean, anyone can wear boots, but my boots are my glass slippers. Honest, I turn myself on by how I look in my boots.

5) Old people adore me, and so do animals. I think I have some sort of old timey quality about me that radiates "Nice Young lady" vibes to everyone over 60 on the planet, and I have always enjoyed hanging out with seniors, even when I was a teen. Also, I tend to be the kid at the party who is being randomly snuggled by the dog or the cat whose owner just got finished saying, "don't feel bad, he/she just doesn't like strangers." I am sorta like Beast Master, only for the cute and the furry residents of suburbia.

6) I have a natural knack for cooking, especially seasoning. I hardly ever use recorded recipes, and even the cheapest, easiest, one-pot dish of mine usually manages to please. This skill has been an enormous help as a broke student and as a girl friend, I can assure you.

7) I think I am a dab hand at teaching. My students always seem to respond well to me, and I often win rave reviews at TA evaluation time. And I manage to do this without being a Grade Santa or by stooping. I benefit from some sort of natural respectability and charisma in the classroom, and, even better, I *love* to teach. It really feels like I have found my calling.

8) I like my ethical stand point, especially when it comes to my responsibility as a global citizen. I do not drive, I recycle, I don't eat meat, and I try not to consume more than my share. I do not litter, and, even though I smoke, I am careful with second hand smoke, and I do not butt on the ground. I help wildlife when I need to, and I support causes I believe in. I am conscientious of water, energy and resource conservation, and I have reduced my trash levels to as reasonable amount as possible, even to the point of using cloth hankies instead of tissues while at home. I also like to think I am respectful of other people, and I try to be an aware and informed voter and citizen. Even better, I manage all this without losing my sense of humour!

9) I have really good friends who reflect well on me. I could introduce any one of my good friends to any one on earth, and their qualities would be recognizable. My mum always taught me that you can be judged by the company you keep, and I am honoured to be kept by those with whom I have built life-long relationships with. They all tend to be talented, funny, energetic, bright and/or warm individuals, who are completely unique in their own right. I can honestly say that I do not collect friends for the sake of a big Christmas card list, but the ones I keep, I absolutely adore.

10) I think I have the potential to be a good wife. I am proud of the care with which I have adapted to this role, and I enjoy marriage. Of course, I also managed to pick the perfect husband for my tastes and needs, but I also think I take every opportunity to improve my imperfect skills as a life partner. You will have to ask him for the final analysis of this, but this role is more important than any other in my life, and it gives me peace and a feeling of self-worth when I find myself treating it as valuable as it is. I hope I can continue to cultivate the gift of our relationship into being all it can be - it really is a freaking story book thing, I think. Despite recent hardships involving immigration red tape and temporary distance, I find myself content, and excited about our future.

So there - ten things I am pleased with about myself. Bragging can be good for the soul, you know. After mountains of New Years Resolutions and self castigation spewed out on this blog, I think it is a good thing to provide a bit of balance.

So, what do you love about you?

Because I Haven't Had Enough of Books...

A meme of a higher category supplied by a blog of finer quality:

1. One book that changed your life:
Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

2. One book that you’ve read more than once:
Charles Chaplin, My Autobiography

3. One book you’d want on a desert island:
The Penguin Complete Works of Jane Austen
(Yes, that is probably technically cheating, but tough.)

4. One book that made you laugh:
Groucho Marx, Memoirs of a Mangy Lover

5. One book that made you cry:
Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

6. One book that you wish had been written:
Kevin Brownlow, The Parade's Gone By

7. One book that you wish had never been written:
Alfred Rosenberg, The Myth of the 20th Century
... or any of the 40 books haunting my life right now for this comp, especially a certain book about a certain Lotus that can kiss my arse.

8. One book you’re currently reading:
Thomas Tweed, Our Lady of the Exile

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read:
The Qur'an

10. Now tag five people:
Since tagging has almost lost me one very dear friend, and alienated dozens more, I leave it up to you to take this as you will.


I will add one more: The most meaningful book you've ever read. For me, definitely the Song of Songs. I could re-read that a million times and never get tired of it. It's one of those things that grows with you, I guess.

Thanks Amanda, I Think

My score on The LONG Scientific Personality Test:

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ENFJ- The Teacher
(You scored 72% I to E, 21% N to S, 38% F to T, and 31% J to P!)

Your type is known as the teacher, or the educating mentor. You also belong to the larger group, called idealists. You tend to bring out the best in other people. You lead without seeming to do so. People are naturally drawn to you. You expect the very best from people which takes the form of enthusiastic encouragement which is so charming that people try their best not to disappoint you. You share your personality type with 3% of the population.

You need to feel a deep and meaningful connection to your romantic partners, and go to great lengths to understand and please your mate. Harmony is vitally important to you, and you often put others' needs before your own. You have a pretty thin skin and are easily hurt. Although you strive for harmony, when your values or ethics are violated, you can be very emotional, confrontational, and even punishing. However, you are very insightful about the underlying cause of conflicts, and an excellent communicator, so you have the tools to bring about a quick and peaceful resolution as long as you can keep control of your facilities. You want to be appreciated for your thoughtfulness and compassion. You need your partner to make a real effort to get to know you. Above all, you need to be able to express your feelings and have them taken seriously.

Your group summary: idealists (NF)
Your type summary: ENFJ

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Take it!
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I Have Been Tagged, it Seems

Thanks to 42k for the special inclusion in this little meme:

4 jobs I've had:
1. Grad Student and Slave (then, now, always)
2. Cafeteria Lady (sexy, huh?)
3. Church Janitor (don’t ask)
4. TIM (HORTON)’S GIRL (Whoot!)


4 movies I could watch over and over (as of today):
1. Sunset Boulevard (1950) – Just plain awesome
2. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) – Awesome on the eyes
3. Avanti! (1972) – Sweet, beautiful, loveable
4. City Lights (1931) & Modern Times (1936) – CHAPLIN!

(Dozens and dozens and dozens more… ask me sometime, and I can send you the Top 100 list)


4 places I have lived:
1. New Brunswick (ok)
2. Nova Scotia (Heaven)
3. Waterloo, Ontario (pleasant surprise)
4. Hell-on-Earth, Ontario (name says it all)

(I really must protest this question, actually, as this is pretty sensitive information, and is not something you should tell strangers, as credit applications depend on such histories… Just be warned that anyone who steals my name will immediately lose their balls (or non-gendered equivalent) due to the mummy’s curse I have placed on it. I have it on good authority that my name has a numerological power you couldn’t handle, anyway, so better play it safe and bugger off.)


4 TV shows I love (love is a pretty strong word, eh?) to watch:
1. The Simpsons (up until recently)
2. M*A*S*H (Hawkeye = Deity)
3. ANY form of Star Trek (I’ve built my life on its teachings)
4. Made in Canada (I Luuurve Rick Mercer)

- yeah, and the Federal Election coverage…
- haven’t had TV in two years or so, so who knows what's on there now?


4 places I have been on vacation:
1. Charlottetown, PEI (in February… what a great season to see the Island)

- I never actually vacation. You think I am made of money???
(Ohio will count in September, no??)


4 websites I visit daily:
1. Blogs listed on the right (so update the damn things already)
2. YouTube (recent obsession)
3. Rotten Tomatoes (looking for cruel reviews)
4. IMDb (aka Biz Connection)
- Nods to The Canadian Spelling Resource, too (thanks Cate)

4 fave foods:
1. Celery (yummy)
2. Chick peas (convenient and yummy)
3. Strawberries (HOME!!)
4. Baby corn (fancy-pants treat)

- Honourable mentions to hummus, samosa, and to vegan salami… mmmmmm


4 places I'd like to be right now:
1) Nova Scotia (aka Heaven)
2) Dublin (seems like fun)
3) Frankly, here is pretty ok (it rains here, there are trees – I’m ok)
4) None of your business (everybody must keep their secrets)


4 people I am tagging:
DELETED.
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Neat-O!

what decade does your personality live in?


quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

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Don't Hate Me Because I Am Different

I Don't Judge You For Your Interests

I Am A: True Neutral Elf Ranger Mage


Alignment:
True Neutral characters are very rare. They believe that balance is the most important thing, and will not side with any other force. They will do whatever is necessary to preserve that balance, even if it means switching allegiances suddenly.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.


Deity:
Silvanus is the True Neutral god of nature. He is also known as the Patron of Druids. His followers believe in the perfect balance of nature, and believe that nature's bounty is preferable to any other 'civilizing' method. They wear leather or metallic scale mail, constructed of leaf-shaped scales. Silvanus's symbol is an oak leaf.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?

Make It So, Baby!

Jean-Luc Picard

An accomplished diplomat who can virtually do no wrong, you sometimes know it is best to rely on the council of others while holding the reins.

There are some words which I have known since I was a schoolboy. "With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably." These words were uttered by Judge Aaron Satie -- as a wisdom, and warning. The first time any man's freedom is trodden on, we're all damaged.

Please Direct Me to the Nuclear Wessels

Your results:

You are Chekov


Brash, rash and hasty,
but everyone loves you.

Chekov

---

75%

Jean-Luc Picard

---

75%

James T. Kirk (Captain)

---

60%

Will Riker

---

60%

Geordi LaForge

---

55%

Leonard McCoy (Bones)

---

45%

Mr. Scott

---

45%

An Expendable Character (Redshirt)

---

45%

Spock

---

34%

Data

---

27%

Worf

---

25%

Click here to take the "Which Star Trek character are you?" quiz...