Another Year Over

Well, after a couple of weeks off (sorta), I find myself rested up, with some long-overdue tasks completed. I am still behind on my dissertation work, but I have cleared a lot of thorns from my side. It's been a good holiday season. I'm broke as heck, but I guess that's about the norm for me.

Murph is home, at least for the baby's arrival; we have to do some more paperwork to keep him for longer. However, that isn't what we have been concentrating on - time for that fun later. For now, it's just nice to share our time together and enjoy the baby preparations. Declan continues to grow and kick the snot out of me, so I guess all is well there. The doctor is happy, so there's no major worries on that front.

So, 2007 has been quite a year, huh? On January 10, I celebrate my first wedding anniversary (trippy). (We are 32 weeks into a pregnancy, and about 50 weeks into a marriage - just for the record.) I made some new friends that seem to be sticking around, and have been sure to spend more time with some old favourites. I have also increased contact with family, which is always a good thing. My health has gotten a lot more much-needed attention, including a major reduction in vices and self-abusive sleep patterns. I have been keeping the apartment cleaner, and generally keeping my eye on the prize much more efficiently.

This past year, I also passed my two doctoral exams, won a Faculty of Arts award, defended my dissertation proposal, had my proposal accepted, started writing the thing, finalized a publication (due out in May), and presented at four conferences. I also won a research award from Brandeis, and got a pretty awesome little job for extra cash. Sure, student loans screwed me, and I also got turned down for some things I applied for, but, in the final tally, it was a good year, professionally.

In retrospect, it's been a pretty good year - much better than I figured on at times. All in all, I think my resolutions for 2007 have been the most ass-kicked set of resolutions I have ever had. Not too bad, at all.

I am considering resolutions for 2008, but, I guess, the main concerns are the baby and the dissertation, and keeping Murph here where he is needed. Money and such things are always targets on resolution lists, but they never come close to those things that really matter - family and doing my job.

In sum, I am happy. I want that to continue. That's the main resolution.

I wish you all the best for the New Year!

Early + Cold = Not a Happy Me

I am off in the snow to catch my morning bus so I can proctor an exam this morning. Surely, making kids write this early in winter is an evil act... I, for one, can only feel the urge to puke at this time of the morning, especially when faced with the fun of being up and about, and freezing.

Oh well - Only today and tomorrow, and finals are over for another term. And then you can bet your butt I am staying inside for a week or so of snuggly sanity-saving stillness.

Hope all is well out there - Stay warm!

Tired

It seemed like a very good idea to stay up until 3am last night assembling a stroller... This morning at 6am, when I had to get up for work, I was rethinking the decision.

Oh well, two days without reason to travel to campus coming up... That soothes.

OK - The News

Sorry about the recent silence, but sometimes blogging falls behind as a priority. Tuesday night, Murph made it to Canada, despite the weather and the cranky border guards. He has a three month permit, which will allow us to go to the next step in citizenship applications, and will allow him to be here for the birth.

So, you can understand that, between him and marking and proctoring for finals, I have been a bit busy. Hopefully in a week or so things will calm down a bit and I can spend a bit more TLC on this poor blog.

Until then... YAY!

News Bulletin Pending...

Stay tuned... I might be ready to announce something big in a few hours. Still holding my breath right now, though.

More at 11.

Going In

I will be entering a no-comp zone for 13.5 hours today as I pull a marathon proctoring shift(s). I'm taking my marking, though, and I ain't leaving until it's done.

Last night, though, my Jesus nightlight melted under the awesome power of the dollar store bulb I got for it. His face fell off. Do you think it's an omen?

We shall see.

GRRR

I think Western Union can get in line behind UPS.

BIG FROWNIE FOR BOTH OF THEM!

:(

Feel the wrath of THAT!

Still Alive

Working, trying to get some stuff done before break.

No Jinxes!

Got two pieces of good news this week, but I don't really want to jinx myself by spilling. I am just biding my time until I know things are for-sure-for-sure.

Happy Hanukkah!

UPS Can Suck My Nuts

Why do they have to put the UPS pick-up depot out in the middle of nowhere? If I had a car, why would I need things delivered to me?

Screw you, UPS.

How Does That Work?

What is the economic system that university officials and faculty work on that says they can give me nearly no funding and then still urge me to travel for "networking" purposes? Am I missing something, or should I just sell a freaking kidney?

Listen to this plainly, folks: No money equals HOLLY CAN'T GO.

Holly can barely pay her rent.

I Hate My Life

I don't like to whine, but right now, things suck. I have no one to talk to, I am broke, and I feel a real pisser of a depression coming on.

Can I sleep until things get better?

Free Film Festival Tonight/Tomorrow

QUE(E)RYING RELIGION
A Film Festival Exploring Sexual Orientation and Religion

7 pm Friday Nov. 23 and 10 am ­- 5 pm Saturday Nov. 24
Room 204, Academic South, Brock University

Opening Reception Friday Nov. 23, 6 pm

Sponsors: Brock Ecumenical Chaplaincy, Brock Pride, OutNiagara, TransParent, Sociology, MA in Social Justice, Tecumseh Centre, Faculty of Humanities, Communications, Popular Culture and Film Studies, OPIRG, others


PROPOSED FILMS

The Business of Fancydancing
Friday, 7 pm followed by panel discussion at 9pm
Drama, Indie Dramas, Independent ­ 103 mins, ­ 2002
Shot on digital video and taking its title from his 1992 book of poetry, Sherman Alexie's The Business of Fancydancing is a portrait of the conflicted relationship between two Native American men. Aristotle Joseph (Gene Tagaban)and Seymour Polatkin (Evan Adams) had long been best friends by the time they left their Spokane reservation to attend college in Seattle. But while Seymour flourished in Seattle as a gay writer, Aristotle endured nothing but bad luck that led to growing resentment, both against white society and his best friend. Although Aristotle returned to the reservation, Seymour remained in Seattle. Now, 15 years later, the sudden death of their mutual childhood friend brings Seymour back to the reservation -- without his white boyfriend -- where he must cope with his status as the de facto mouthpiece for his people and his estranged relationship with both Aristotle, who seems to be growing more violent by the day, and also Agnes (Michelle St. John), his one-time college girlfriend. The Business of Fancydancing was screened at the 2002 Philadelphia Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival. ~ Rebecca Flint, All Movie Guide

Chutney Popcorn
Saturday, Nov. 214, 10:00 a.m.
Gay & Lesbian, G&L Comedies, Comedy ­ 93 mins, 1999
The push and pull of familial bonds and clashing cultures sets the stage for the comic drama Chutney Popcorn. Renna is a young woman of Indian descent living in New York, where she works as both a photographer and a body artist who creates henna tattoos. Renna is also a lesbian, which does not please her mother, Meenu(Madhur Jaffrey), who prefers to dote on her more traditionally minded (and happily married)daughter Sarita (Sakina Jeffrey). One day, Renna gets some bad news from Sarita: While she and her husband have been trying to have a baby, her doctor has informed that her she is infertile and will never bear a child of her own. Renna volunteers to serve as surrogate mother for Sarita; she wants to help her sister and hopes this will smooth some of the rough spots in her relationship with her mother. But Renna starts to have second thoughts, as her lover Lisa(Jill Hennessy) feels left out of the loop, and Meenu thinks both Renna and Sarita are making a mistake. Nisha Ganatra co-wrote and directed Chutney Popcorn and also plays Renna; the film was enthusiastically received in its screening at
the 1999 Los Angeles Independent Film Festival. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

When Night is Falling
Saturday 1:00 pm
Drama, Canadian, G&L Dramas ­ 94 mins, ­ 1995
Camille, a professor at a Protestant College,is engaged to Martin, a sympathetic minister and fellow professor. As "career Christians" they are urged to get married and to become co-chaplains of the New College of Faith. But Camille is vaguely unhappy with Martin and her life, and when her beloved dog dies suddenly, she begins to lose her grip. On the same day, in a Laundromat, Camille meets Petra, a flamboyant circus performer, and is inexplicably attracted to her, Petra flirts brazenly with Camille. She draws her into the seductive world of the "modern-primitive" circus. The two become friends, then more. For the first time in her proper and very intellectual life, Camille's desire comes rushing forward. She is shocked to find that she is infatuated with Petra. Soon, she believes that she is in love. But all is not well with the circus. Hounded by creditors, the circus must leave town, threatening to tear the new lovers apart. Meanwhile, part of Camille is still deeply attached to Martin, as he is to her. Terrified at the prospect of radical change, Camille is compelled to make a choice between the woman she wants and a man that she has loved.

Trembling Before G-D
3 pm Saturday Nov. 24 with panel discussion
Gay & Lesbian, G&L Dramas, G&L Romance ­ 84 mins, 2001
Director Sandi Simcha DuBowski makes his feature-length film debut with the documentary Trembling Before G-d, a look at gays and lesbians in Hasidic and Orthodox Judaism. Made over several years in New York, California,Israel, Britain, and Florida, the film follows the lives of several people struggling to express both their faith and their sexuality. In L.A., pianist David is an Orthodox gay man who has been through over ten years of therapy to supposedly "cure" his homosexuality. He visits the Chabad rabbi whom he first came out to over 20 years before. Michelle is a Hasidic lesbian who lives in Brooklyn. Having married only to please her family, she's been ostracized from her community ever since the divorce. Also in Brooklyn, Israel is a gay man who's abandoned much of his Hasidic life and hasn't seen his father in over 20 years. In London, twentysomething Mark is a the son of an Orthodox rabbi. He came out during a trip to Israel, which was supposed to rid him of his sexual questioning. Some participants prefer to remain anonymous or at least slightly obscured, including a lesbian couple who met in Hebrew school and an ultra-Orthodox closeted lesbian. The film also features some footage with various doctors and religious leaders, including the progressive psychotherapist Shlomo Ashkinazy and the first openly gay Orthodox rabbi, Steve Greenberg. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, All Movie Guide

argh

I don't really have to go out in THAT do it? Environment Canada has the nerve to call this a "light snow"... sounds like a magical freaking kingdom compared to how it really looks out there.

ugh.

waiting...

It seems that the last month of my life has been spent waiting for Canada Post, and I am giving up hope that the last thing will come today. Rats. Tomorrow...

Surprize!

Found out this morning that I am holding down the fort on the class I TA for tonight - the prof is sick or in California or something, I guess. So I will be using his Power Point on Blade Runner (1982) and apocalyptic literature... hmmm. Not exactly the way I had envisioned spending my afternoon, but I decided to give it a whirl.

We shall see what we shall see.

A Few New Additions to the Collection

Well, I finally got my Visa situation taken care of, so I manged to send off for some DVDs I was in need of for my dissertation, and a few extras, too.

I found that two of my most desired films, the original The Jazz Singer (1927) and the wonderful Crossing Delancey (1988), were finally out on DVD, so I snapped those up immediately. Also, I found the Canadian film Double Happiness (1994), a solid intermarriage-related film about a Chinese-Canadian girl and her traditional family, was on sale with another of my favourites, the surprizing New Waterford Girl (1999), so I grabbed both of those, as well. I also ordered the last copy in Ontario of Trembling Before G-d (2001), a film I have to speak on at Brock next week, but it has yet to arrive.

However, one film I had been meaning to get forever was likely the most necessary purchase, as it is sort of a key film for my research. It's not a great film, but likely one of the most overt pieces on Jewish-Gentile romance to come out in a long time. As I say, not great, but ok - Keeping the Faith (2000), which I used to have on VHS before someone ran off with it.

However, I must warn you - the only way I could get this film is in a budget double feature DVD with one of the most heinous pieces of cinematic horror I've seen in a long time, the travesty that is The Preacher's Wife (1996).

This movie was so horrible that I still cannot believe it was made by people actually trained in the making of movies. It still makes me cringe, thinking about it. I got the budget DVD thinking that it wouldn't hurt to have another film about the clergy, or about religion/spirituality, but now I actually regret having it in my collection at all. I might have to cross out the title on the spine of the DVD packaging, lest people think I own it of my enjoyment of the atrocity. Avoid at all costs, people. Dreadful.

So, now I am actually writing again with some purpose, and hope to have a chapter done by the end of the month. I quake in my boots -- talking about your dissertation in the "some day" sense is so much less daunting than actually putting stuff on paper. Yikes. Wish me luck.

Holding My Breath, Inspite of Myself

Today, Murph mails off the immigration package that seals our fate. It is the culmination of a long, long process - on our end, anyway. Now is where the Canadian government takes over.

Let's just hope the guy on the other end of the mail at least likes his wife. Or was visited by three spirits last night.

Wish us all luck!

Busy, Busy, Busy

It has been a blur since the last time I posted, and again today. I teach and proctor all day, basically. I have a tale of woe for you, too, when I get a moment, but maybe by the time I relay it the resolution will be in sight.

Still chugging. So that's something, eh?

Is This Why People Came from the Old Country?

Just a quick post, as the power is a bit sketchy today. Also, it seems we have no water. Either it's a construction day in my building, or I woke up without reason in the third world.

F*ck Mondays.

Remember

One is the Loneliest Number

Stuck on campus, waiting to go to hear a Holocaust survivor talk tonight. Really, though, when you are already bummed out, the prospect of such an event is kind of less than appealing. With luck, I'll get home tonight without throwing myself under a bus.

Things aren't too bad, really - but campus by yourself is hell. Groups of giggling tarts and guffawing jocks have a way of sucking the sparkle out of life, and WLU has an abundance of both varieties of chuckle-heads. The exam I was proctoring finished an hour early (screwing me out of $11); now I am stuck waiting until 7.30 with little purpose, so I can go and hear a talk that, although interesting (surely), is also likely to make my mood plummet even further.

There better be ice cream and something bright for me to watch when I get home... Otherwise, I think I feel a crying jag coming on.

In Other News...

So the Hollywood writers are out on strike for sure now. Oh dear - what to do? I wonder, with the crap that fudge factory has been producing for the past little while, will any of us notice if they replaced the current staff with chimps? Chances are, it will be better, or at least different.

Bring on Bonzo!

Banking Error in My Favour

Well, there was a mix-up, and my purloined Visa debacle has yet to be resolved. It seems my new Visa, which I had been told would get to me by October 25th at the latest, was never mailed out for some reason, making me have to haul my butt in person to pay bills this week - time I really can't afford.

However, the Visa people were so contrite, I am getting a $50 gift certificate from HBC. Normally, I would have no real idea what to do with $50 at Zellers, but with a baby on the way, I don't think it'll be difficult to use up.

So, all's well that sort-of-ends-well, I guess.

Andrew and Amanda's "Jack and Jill"

I hate women-only functions, so last night we had a new-fangled thing called a "Jack and Jill" (only for a baby, not a wedding) for our friends Amanda and Andrew, who are expecting their first little one (don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet - they are patient people!) in late December.

Mostly, it was just a potluck and chat session, and we finally got the entire 2005-2009 PhD cohort to show up to an event. We managed to get a picture together, for the first time!

It was a good time - Best wishes to Andrew and Amanda, and their little one!

Expectant Mommy, Amanda, loading up at the buffet.

For the party, we went for the "baby bath tub filled with goodies" approach - which is a fine way to go, especially if you don't know what the couple already has purchased by way of large ticket items.
The little tiger fellow up top was clearly the hit of the party!

The 2005-09 UW-WLU PhD in Religion cohort, only known group photo in existence.
Left to right: Expectant Daddy, Andrew; me (looking a mite pregnant myself); Sio; Margie; Mitra; Chris. Margie's husband Mike, Chris's wife Jenn and, of course, Andrew's wife Amanda were also out last night.

(Thanks to Margie for hosting! A good time was had by all.)

Sooo Early

Off to Brock to deliver my paper, which isn't half bad, really.

Wish me luck!

Tick Tock

Conference tomorrow - under the gun. What else is new?

What the Hell?

I slept a full eight hours last night, but I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck. I am still so tired, I could head to bed for about twelve more hours.

Not good, since I still have to get ready for that conference on Friday.

Ugh.

Boo!

Morning From Hell

I have no hot water, so I can't shower before I have to leave at 9 because it's icy as hell in this place, and there's no way I can get into cold water without dying of cardiac arrest.

To top it off, I puked my guts out - literally. I was empty, so nothing but acid came up, and I can still feel the burn. It is too close between waking up and leaving, and my system can't handle it. The baby is firmly telling me to get back in bed where we belong. Sorry, laddy, can't do it, as much as I'd like to.

Note to self: Early morning appointments just can't be done.

Errands Ahoy!

Spent the day takin' care of BIZZNAZZ.

A few crises averted, some long overdue issues handled, some funding applications handed in, and some personal correspondence handled. Big news has to be the fact that Murph's immigration application is coming together like gangbusters!

So, busy Monday, but a successful one, nonetheless.

Goin' Below Zero

Tonight marks the first time the weather man has predicted us to go below freezing this season. Get those woolies on and hug someone tight.

Ding dong - might summer actually be dead, at long last? Might I actually hope for such a thing? Seems to too good to be true!

So, That's It

I finalized my big funding application proposals and online application forms today. One more SSHRC/OGS season done, unless my final drafts need typo damage control tomorrow.

Done and done.

I Got Nothing

So, yeah, no post yesterday, and, really, none today. Been slightly mopey, despite my recent wins on the fruit fly front. (FYI traps made of bowls of vinegar/oj with saran wrap covers works like gangbusters!)

This weekend marks the end of my long SSHRC/OGS ordeal, so that's good; now on to that conference I am speaking at on Friday. Whopee!

Not v.g.

Was on campus proctoring an exam, and I could have sworn I saw a fruit fly buzzing around my head... have they started following me?

Understandably, I think the whole thing is giving me a complex.

I'm Trying to Not See it as a Metaphor for Life Itself

Clouds of fruit flies have taken over my apartment, and I have no idea why or from whence they are coming. I am doing all the normal stuff like taking out my recycling and garbage, and keeping the dishes and kitchen surfaces clean, etc., but they still keep coming. They are starting to feel like a curse of biblical proportions. Just when I seem to make headway, more come.

It is too close to the grander scheme of things in my life these days...

I Should Have Done More

This weekend is now gone, and I did so much less than I had planned - the marking I was doing was more complex than I had reckoned on, and I was still more sluggish from my flu than I had anticipated. Excuses, I know.

I am so tired of swimming against the current.

Hey - Where Did October Go?

Man, I know it was just early October a few days ago... how could I have misplaced it? It was September, which fled the scene rather too quickly... and then it was early October... and then... nope. I don't know what happened after that. There was marking, I remember... and conference crap to deal with... and proposals... and TA malarky... Oh, and getting a job to support my sorry ass next term... Well, whatever happened, October is now, for all intents and purposes, gone. For whatever reason, that's just a fact I have to deal with, and things are getting hectic around here.

So, now that October has almost gone, mysteriously, I have extra marking for dollars to do, exam proctoring to get through, and a conference paper to finish, and a review to write, and funding proposals to finalize... all this week... Yup.

Fall has kicked my ass, and I haven't even been able to complete that chapter on the dissertation (you know, the real work) like I had hoped. Let's hope November is a little less harry with gnat-like hoops to jump through, as I am tired of having the actual reason I am in school obscured by the day-to-day grind of merely being in school.

I present at conferences so I can someday get a job. Ditto with the reviews. Also, so I can put them on my crappy funding proposals. Why do I do the funding proposals? Because it is becoming increasingly likely I will have to drop out next year because here at Cheap-Assed-U they only fund you for three years in a PhD. So one course of action would be to finish the dissertation this year so I can not drop out but graduate next Xmas, just as the money ends, right?

That would be ideal, if I didn't have the funding proposals and the conference, you see. And why am I doing the conference again? Oh yes, so I can get a job when I graduate... but that won't happen if I have to drop out... but I need to do them to get a job... but they increase my chances of dropping out... errr... error... cannot compute...

BOOM!

Today We Mourn TV Links

I just found out that one of my favourite sites, ever, has been raided. TV Links, a site that let you watch all manners of TV, documentaries and movies via streaming video, was shut down on Friday for facilitating copyright infringement.

Really, I understand that such things are illegal, but I really don't think that the movie industry is hurting so bad that it needs to piss all over a site that doesn't even let you keep the things you watch. If Hollywood is going broke, it really needs to wonder why it keeps producing shite no one wants to pay to see.

So, we bid adieu to TV Links. We're going to miss you.

Off to the Salt Mines

I work today proctoring exams, which is a pretty nice gig but still a bit of a time suck. I can't use a comp there, so that kind of cramps my style, since I have about 8 hours of electronic marking to squeeze into this weekend. Oh well - at least I can print out a copy of the SSHRC and OGS proposals and cut them vigorously while I sit there and stare at a bunch of kids sweating through a Math 101 exam.

Oh, and banking stuff today, too, which adds a good two hours on my day. Yippee.

Holly's Sick Day(s) Viewing

So, I am finally feeling a bit better. My lungs are evicting the plague from my body - which is certainly unpleasant, but I am surviving. I had a nasty fever yesterday while teaching; and if you think sweating like a hog in front of 20 17-year-olds is a fun thing, then you're nuts. It was, in fact, like every high school nightmare I ever had.

But I treated myself a bit gently the past two nights. After holding myself together during the day and even getting my required tasks done, I took the evenings off to sit back and watch a few classic weepy gems.

On Tuesday night it was Frankie and Johnny (1991), which not only manages to make Al Pachino somehow sexy, but also gives a good story with decent writing. In many ways a pretty standard romance, the performances and the characters always make this one a treat. Besides, my mum loved that song when I was a kid.

Last night, I soaked in the warm bubble bath that is An Officer and a Gentleman (1982). Richard Gere at his peak, Debra Winger at her most charming; this movie is so familiar to me now, I can recite it. Besides, it has an added bonus - it's not just a romance, it also has one of the best portrayals of male bonding and inspiration ever, with the Mayo and Foley plot. Besides, anyone who's ever been to grad school finds enormous attraction to the whole "I'm going to stomp you until you DOR, candidate" routine.

"No, sir - you can kick me outta here, but I ain't gonna quit... I got nothing else..." Yup... that's PhD, alright.

Not sure what's on for tonight, but I think I should aim for the trifecta of 80s/90s romances, and hit something on the theme. Not even I can stomach Ghost (1990), so I might just go for a bit of Say Anything (1989). Mmmmmm... (young) Cusack.

Happy viewing!

Looking Forward to Hell

So, I have not been able to sleep more than a scattered half hour here and a half hour there, and I am feeling sick. I threw up like three times yesterday, and my head of completely blocked up.

Well, to make matters even better, I teach two classes starting in just over five hours from now. Yippee!

Can anyone say group work?

Holly's Sick Day Soup

• 5 cups of boiling water
• 2 cubes of 2-cup vegetable bullion
• 1 cup of boiled small pasta shells (or small egg noodles, if preferred)
• 1 boiled potato, diced
• 1/3 fresh stalk of celery
• 1 palmful of shredded fresh red cabbage
• 1 palmful of shredded fresh carrot
• 1/2 cup of frozen mixed veggies (peas, carrots, green beans, lima beans, corn)
• 1/3 cup of frozen corn nibblets
• 1/3 cup of canned chick peas
• 1/3 cup of ground soy (which is a sort of fake hamburger made of tofu)
• 1 tablespoon of iron enriched dehydrated parsley
• salt, black pepper, garlic, sage, and cayenne pepper to taste

Boil water and bullion with spices and parsley, and add the celery, shredded carrot and cabbage, and let simmer for about 5 minutes while you boil the starches. Add boiled pasta and potato, and let simmer until the desired softness. Add chick peas and ground soy, and then the frozen veggies. Spice as needed, and let simmer until flavours are infused. Add water as needed to maintain desired consistency and flavour. For extra body, you can add boiled rolled oats, and for more flavour, you can add diced onion (I just didn't have any). Be creative!

The whole soup shouldn't take much more than an hour to prepare from start to finish, and takes one large soup pot, and a few smaller pots for boiling the side ingredients. It makes about 7 bowls of soup, and can easily be refrigerated and re-heated as needed, and can actually taste better as a leftover. It is perfect for letting you survive over several meals' worth of illness that just won't let you cook anything more labour intensive.

Serve with bread, garlic bread, cubed cheese or grilled cheese (if you feel up to it), and with tea, ginger ale, lemon water, juice or some similar sick-day beverage of your choice. My favourite is grape punch mixed with lemon concentrate. And drink plenty of water! For dessert, I recommend a raw orange or a bowl of lemon sherbet or something similar.

And feel better!

sick

yup

Monday

Ugh.

Looking down the barrel of quite a nasty day - proctoring from 11am to 2.30pm, then a frantic finishing of some marking (my bad for not getting it done sooner), and then office hour and then class, in which I lecture for an hour or so...

By the time I get home at 11 tonight, I'll be dashed.

Ugh.

How to Best Fill One Hour...?

Today, I am preparing a lecture for an undergraduate class tomorrow, but I have to admit that, aside from picking a topic and thinking about it a bit, I really don't know what to do with my time. I have one hour to give my talk and show a good, illustrative clip. Oh, and I have marking left to do, too.

It's going to be a busy day.

How is it Friday Already?

Man, this week was a blur.

One more day to get through, though, so no lallygagging yet.

Lallygagging tomorrow.

*yawn*

Anyone else bored with yesterday's election and its results? What a non-event. I know I personally am not as into provincial politics as federal, and certainly not Ontario's politics (I consider myself a Nova Scotioner in exile, not an Ontaronian, thanks). However, now that I am In the Family Way, I did do my bit. Too bad we all wake up to pretty much no change and a blah 52% voter turnout.

Well, that was worth the shoe sole I wasted walking to the polls.

Busy, Busy Day

All is well, but I'm bushed. Now to settle in for some quiet time to decompress from a day of running - my feet are killing me.

Oh, and on that note, if you are walking around K-W tonight, watch out for the earth worms - the sidewalks are covered! But the rain is lovely, anyway.

STRESS

Need to come down from all this shite or I might burst. Which thing has to be done when? How long? Where do I have to be? When? What email has to be sent, and who isn't replying? Who do I have to call to straighten this out with? By when? How much to I owe, and how will I get that much? When do I have to deliver what lecture? How much marking, by when? What do I have to write? How long?

OHMYGOODGRANNYINAHELLISHHANDBASKET.

I'm so toast. So ready to just drop out right now and spend a month in some nice rest home for the insane.

Oh, Yes, and It Gets Worse

Yeah, I'm also sick - been sneezing constantly since I woke up, I have a sore throat, and I'm generally cranky and fuzzy-headed.

YAY!

hmmmm...

I woke up this morning with this horrible feeling that I'm forgetting something - like I'm supposed to be somewhere today, but I don't remember where or when or what. Man, I hate that feeling.

Maybe it's because I didn't do even 1/3 of all the crap I had hoped to get through this weekend, and it's making me paranoid. sigh.

I Believe that I shall Swoon

Lordy - I am far from the fainting kind, but I nearly went on my arse today. I can only remember a handful of faints in my whole life, before now. Today, I felt it coming on me a couple times.

I was hungry, but putting off food until the dishes were done - suddenly WHOMP! I had to sit down before I was thrown down. I quickly grabbed a handy Hallowe'en sized chocolate bar and a can of cold ginger ale, and rested until I felt well enough to make lunch. That has restored me, largely, but I am still left puzzled by the reaction.

In my first trimester, I would get queasy if I got too hungry - but feeling faint after putting food off for a half hour is new to me. I am guessing it might be a combination of the outrageous heat today (36C with the humidex!) and the housework I am doing, along with the normal issues of needing to feed a growing 20-week baby, as well as myself. It seems to me, I've heard of a lot of women fainting during pregnancy, especially in the heat. However, it is a little disturbing to have it come now, when I didn't get it at all in the early months.

Anyway, I will talk to the doctor about it, and see the nutritionist on campus - maybe see if a blood test is needed. The worst case scenario is that it's a bit of prenatal hypoglycemia, I think, but no sense in self-diagnosing now. For now, I will just make sure I have food handy, and hope the temperatures go back to normal soon.

So, Yah...

As you can see, I was a little down and bored and out of sorts yesterday. The weather was rather conducive to wandering, and I was feeling the pinch of having no one to wander with. See, most of the time, I am ok living alone and interacting maybe one person for one hour a week - three people on some busy weeks. But, once in a while, it gets to me. Yesterday was like that.

But I called a friend and caught up, and I webcammed with Murph, and I talked to the baby. I generally just tried to force myself out of the funk. True, it wasn't a stroll through the park or an ice cream cone shared over some laughs, but it was really the best life had to offer.

Sure, my life isn't really overflowing with excitement or human contact, but those few friends I do have are pretty great. In truth, I don't really have a lot of time to hang out with people, nor do I have a lot of money for lunch and shopping dates, so I guess it's for the best.

I already did some dishes, which is starting to make me feel human again. This afternoon, I will take care of a thing or two on my list of tasks. Tonight, I will make homemade popcorn on the stove. I will put in a movie. I will put my feet up, and pull the tab on a cold can of something fizzy.

Things will be ok. Eventually.

What's That? I Think I Hear a Foghorn... BOOOORRR-ING!

Sigh. I am sick of never having anything to do for fun outside my crappity apartment, and no one to do anything with. I know - lame excuses for problems. But the isolation is really starting to get to me.

Damn this city, anyway. I don't even know what I'm doing here, since not a single person in it will give me the time of day - or would rather spit at me than say hello.

Maybe it's just time to find a nice cave somewhere.

Happy Thanksgiving (Canada)!

IT'S A BOY!

Yup - ultrasound went fine. Baby is healthy, active, and, indeed, unmistakably male.

As to this long weekend, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. As for me, I have a list of to-do's I have put off for far too long. Students always think long weekends can work magic and get them caught up with a month's worth of extra work. How we always figure that, I don't know, but I don't remember a time it has ever worked out as dreamed.

However, yet again, I will give it a shot this year... Wish me luck.

Boy or Girl?

As much as I hate clinics and examinations, etc., and as wrong as I think sitting in someone's office in your undies is, I can't help but be a little psyched to see the little one today on our second ultrasound. Today, we should be able to see if it is a boy or a girl, which is something almost worth the horror of the semi-public nudity. (Almost.)

Today, I think it's a girl, simply because I have been so sure it was a boy. I can't possibly be right, I figure, so I alway bet against myself. A bit of a bad habit of mine.

What do you guess?

Man, They Got Bubkes

Wow - I kind of wanted to go out to a movie tonight, but there is dick-all playing that would be worth paying to see. How is that even possible, since there are about 15 movies playing in the general town area? That isn't even including the way-out malls! Man. Hollywood - get your act together. Please!

So Very Tired...

Don't know if it's the baby, or what, but I have been sluggish as heck the past day or so. I had to teach today for two hours, and it has left me so drained I feel like crawling into bed, and the sun isn't even down yet.

Ugh. I should work, or clean... but I feel like I could drop any second.

FANTASTIC!

I loved this book as a kid (my favourite, actually; I still have it, so I've scanned it above). Let's hope the movie version is worth the excitement it caused when I came across it today!

EEE!

PS> Digging this book out unearthed a stack of other books from my childhood I had stored. I think it's time to start reading to the baby. I think I'll start with Mr Fox - it seems fitting to keep that tradition going.

Would You Give Me Money for This?

My PhD dissertation focuses on the interaction between screen Jews, both male and female, with their Gentile counterparts in Jewish-Gentile romantic films, and how their relationships are structured. There has never been an extended study of Jewish-Gentile romantic relationships in American film, even though such films often contribute the most fleshed-out discussions of what it means for Jews to be Americans, and vice versa.

In these films, the Jew, as stripped and vulnerable as anyone entering into a love affair, is generally faced with the question, “What makes me different from this Gentile, whom I love?” Indeed, this is often a major motivating factor in the narrative friction in such films. In these conflicts, we can also identify a number of key archetypal participators in the struggle of “love conquering all.” One chapter will show how the Gentile and the Jewish parents, who are often the delivery system for traditional values (in favour of non-mixed marriages), may be categorized according to their argument types, such as assimilation anxiety, ancestral loyalty, or concerns involving racism or spiritual conflicts.

Another common element in such films places a potential Jewish mate into the path of the errant Jewish protagonists. This potential mate is immediately, and unattractively, contrasted with the charms and beauties of the Gentile love interest. How such negative images of Jews as mates are constructed and what ideologies lie behind such portrayals will comprise another chapter. Thus far, my theory is that, on the surface, most American films support (and help create) a romantic ideal of democratic cultural mixing as part of the American Dream, while denouncing more traditional arguments supporting Old World endogamy.

In the twenty films I am analyzing, however, I have discovered that such films still portray an inherent conflict when two cultures attempt to meld. Two chapters will be devoted to the characters of the Jews and Gentiles who embark on these complicated romantic adventures, the challenges they face, and the results they experience. I believe that continuing investigations into the construction of ethnic identity, especially in something as influential as Hollywood film, is crucial to our understanding of the political and social standings of minority populations in North America.

Monday is Starting Out OK, She Said Tentatively

Got a conference acceptance first thing this morning - yet another thing for the CV. See, the last time I applied for the Big Funding, last fall, I had nothing but one piddly unprofessional published essay and one upcoming conference. This time, I have three completed conferences (one a semi-important one), one forthcoming published book chapter, my comp exams finished, one more guest lecture engagement this month, one faculty of arts award, and now one upcoming conference. That is not bad progress, not bad at all.

I am starting to get a glimmer of hope that I might actually win something this year. As long as my proposal doesn't suck... But let's not think of that, ok?

P.S.

By "dropping the ball" yesterday, I meant nothing more exciting than not getting a piece of transcription done for a prof before she had to ask about it. That's all. Nothing scandalous.

Sorry to get your hopes up.

It's Fair Cop

I got caught. I was trying to keep all my balls in the air, but my juggling isn't what it used to be. So I dropped one. Luckily, the world didn't end, but I feel a bit crappy about it, and now I have to dance faster to catch myself back up.

Fall is hell.

Again With the Funding Proposals

I'm back on the job. Yuck.

Happy Sukkot

The Jewish fall is a busy time - now it is time for Sukkot.

See you all again Saturday night.

(All the Jewish holidays get a big much in the Fall. After Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, I usually find myself just a bit annoyed when Sukkot comes. When am I supposed to get any frigging work done this month?)

I GOT THE JOB!

So now is time to do the happy dance of Extra Money!

YAY!

Tuesday's Here Again, and I'm Feeling OK

I am coming back to my old self, I think. Yesterday was a pretty bleak time for me for a while there, but I think I will survive. Again, nothing has changed but how I perceive things. But, then, such is the way with mental states.

I have a job interview this afternoon to proctor exams for the resources center - it means extra baby cash, so I hope I get it.

On that vein, I woke up yesterday with what I think is a baby bump. I guess the little pooper has decided to finally make himself/herself known.

In other news, it is Tuesday today, so I will once again be all tied up with Murph for some private time tonight. It's supposed to rain here, finally, so a bit of a snuggle down with the phone to the sound of the downpour might be just what the doctor ordered.

Emotional Crisis

I am lonely, and panicky. I am panicking. What have I done to my school career? I used to be really good at it. Now I can feel it all slipping away. Man, I suck.

I don't want to work on my external scholarship applications. I know I won't get one anything from it (again), even though EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON IN MY COHORT HAS ONE. So what's the point? Another year of humiliation? Why even try? Academics could have a swimsuit competition, and I wouldn't be less disgraced as these forking things make me feel. I don't know if I can handle it again. I feel like the department has given up on me, and that's why I am never allowed through in these money grabs. If they know I suck so badly, why don't they just kick me out and put me out of my misery? Is it because someone always needs to be the dud and in this group it's me? Or are they waiting to see if I drop out first?

Why do I have to be so bargain basement in everything I do?

OK, now I'm depressed, too.

Best eat. Maybe things will look brighter after that.

Motivational Crisis

I have work to do - perhaps too much to do, and that's why I'm frozen. But I can't do anything. I am just antsy and anxious, and I have no idea which way to turn. I'm a bit freaked out, actually.

It feels like I should just go to bed and hope for better things. But I can't. I need to force myself in some constructive direction, or it's all over for me.

Can't. Move. Frozen. In. Spot. ARGH!

Shout Out

Happy Birthday, Amanda!

(Sorry I can't be there this year.)

The Politics of Baby Blogging

And I am now back from holiday, yet again. And now the Jewish holy season is done. It was ok this year, but so strange since I opted not to fast for the baby's sake. That's the first time I passed a Yom Kippur without fasting in years.

I have been keeping a blog as a daily record of our baby's development - my meals and exercise and appointments, and such. It's a good tool for me to keep track of things and to keep myself mindful of the baby's needs and stages.

I have also taken to putting a little picture of a fetus at roughly the same level of development as our own on the sidebar, as a way to "watch" the baby grow.

But I have been bugged by something - I can't find any pictures of non-white babies in the womb. What the hell? Are they trying to say that all babies start out white and go on from there? Or do people not think to post fetal pictures of black children? Or, maybe, anti-abortion sites (from whence I get most of my fetal pictures) don't think black children tug at the heart strings as much as "innocent little white babies".

Jeeze. The majority rules, even in reproduction, I guess. It's really annoying and really quite scary.

One Thing Off the List... 15 More To Go

Well, I just sent off the final proof-read of my Benny article. Pretty exciting - now all that's left, I think, is to wait for the book's release in May 2008. Look for news coming soon.

Now, however, I must get back to the bazillion other things I have put off. Oh, yes, and I have to do it before Yom Kippur hits in like 4 hours. Yay.

Have a good weekend!

The Grocer of Despair

I won't wish Leonard a happy birthday. But I'll wish him many more.

The Unthinkable

I am going to turn off the computer and go outside.

:-o

Down

I guess this is what they call an emotional slump. I just want to crawl into bed and stay there, but at the same time I know that working and cleaning would help me. Either way, life seems like too much effort right now.

Groggy

I thought I taught today from 10.30 until 12.30, so I shoe-horned myself out of bed at 8am, only to actually read the syllabus and discover I don't have to teach until 11.30 (until 1.30).

On the one hand, this is kind nice: One free unexpected hour. On the the other - I am sooo tired I could cry, after the night I just got through.

Oh well, if I can survive until 2, I'll be fine...

3am

It's 3am. I'm tired. I have been woken up with massive, crushing anxiety. Not good.

Don't Wanna

I have to teach tomorrow, but I really don't want to. It's not that I don't like to teach - far from it, really. It's just that (1) the first class is usually a bit hard on my nerves, (2) I feel rusty, and (3) I really am too lazy to prepare today.

Why can't teachers skip? Frankly, that's unfair.

Long Day

Hellish long day. Everything's fine, but I am sooo tired.

Greasy

Just saw the Trailer Park Boys movie for the first time. Must say, it was a good time.

For now, though, I am up to my ears in paperwork for my pre-birth clinic at the local hospital - filling out all the admittance forms so we don't have to when I actually pop. What a good idea!

I am still behind in work. What else is new?

Holly's Back!

(Insert joke about how her front ain't bad, either, here.)

After a long holiday hiatus, I am back from Rosh HaShanah imposed silence. It was a good, reflective few days. I thought over some things, hopefully laid a few demons to rest, and generally took it easy. Now comes the fun of catching up with the work that I had to ignore!

Shanah tova, y'all!

Happy Rosh Hashanah!

Just What I Didn't Need

Monday night, it started with a dry feeling in my sinuses. Yesterday, it was a full blown head-cold. Let's hope it makes its run a limited one. Ugh.

Just What I Needed!

Just when I was tired and a little worried about scattered things, I got an email winging the proof of my book chapter to me. It is quite a thing, to see your first major publication in proof form - with pictures and everything! It has restored my soul, that's for sure.

Just in time for the New Year, too!

Do I Meet the Challenge?

You scored as Adorable, Adorable 95% Awesome 90% Astonishing 75% Aggravating 30% Annoying 20% Murph's First Challenge created with QuizFarm.com

September 10

Today is the 8th month of marriage mark for Murph and I, and, though I will be busy today and can't really celebrate with him on the phone or chat as well as I would like, the day does make me smile.

Also, on a sadder note, today, Charlotte, the daughter of my best friend from elementary school, Mel, would have been two had she not died so sadly young. I am sure a lot of thoughts will be with Mel and her husband Dave, as well as with little Charlotte, today.

First Day

Well, I am off to campus today for the start of my school term. The first lecture for the course I TA is tonight. I was going to work with my advisor, Dr. S., but scheduling problems made it necessary to move me to the same first year course as I TAed in 2006-06, Religion and Film. Not that I mind, really, as I want to learn how to teach film courses, but working with Dr. S would have let me work with Jewish subject matter for once, which would have been nice. Still, I plan on making the most of it. I teach on Wednesdays, and I look forward to getting back in the teaching saddle. It's been too long, and I think some of the muscles might have rusticated.

Oh, and I have a doctor's appointment today for a regular checkup. I'll keep you posted. Perhaps I will get to hear the heartbeat for sure today!

Robbed!

Some lousy b*st*rd out there stole my credit card number! Thankfully, the bank has dealt with all the online gambling and software purchases on there I didn't make, but I am now without a credit card for at least the next month as I wait for a new one to be issued. It's not that I use it so very much, but it still rankles me to be put out for someone else's nasty work.

Oh well, nothing we can do. People are piles of crap. Best to get used to that idea now, I guess.

Rain!

I am so glad it rained today. The ground needed it badly, and so did I.

Energy Up

Well, feeling a bit more human now. I got groceries, which makes me feel more comfortable here - empty pantry just makes me feel like life here isn't permanent or sustainable, for some reason. The apartment feels more like home when the larder is full, I guess. Also, I blasted through some issues I was having for a scholarship proposal. You know, I do tend to forget that I can actually be good at what I do in school. Re-reading that book chapter I wrote (forthcoming in May 2008) restored a bit of the old confidence.

Things might be looking up.

I Want to Be a Housewife

Getting ready to slog to campus for official business type crap, I suddenly felt depressed, as if I had been chasing after something my whole life that really didn't matter in the greater scheme of things. Perhaps this is just a passing hormone cloud, but I don't really think so. I have suddenly realized there is more to life than degrees and a tenure track position. Sometimes I think we trade our souls for the ephemeral illusion of success, when, really, I don't know that we have to go so bloody far.

You know, I think girls today are being ripped off. In school, we are all basically indoctrinated with this idea that you must go to school and get some sort of career, or else you are setting back the Women's Movement or something - as if staying at home and having kids is somehow equivalent to repealing the universal suffrage laws. This is unfair. Women's rights should be about increasing women's choices, not limiting them. I do feel a bit screwed over. These days, I am starting to think I could have survived quite happily as a housewife - given enough books around, a good husband, and some time for volunteer work, of course. I don't see how the rat race is that much of a better way to live.

You've come a long way, baby - only to find the secret to life isn't in a salary, afterall.

Dazed

Being back is horrible. On my own again, I think I have forgotten how to live. I wander around wondering what to do next, feeling levels of anxiety unwarranted by my practical situation. I feel like I am forgetting things, like some mystery appointment I was supposed to make it to this morning, yet it is not written down anywhere. Work, school, bills, grocery hunting... it all seems like this maze of hazards, and I don't know what to do with myself. The world is suddenly a lot less warm, friendly and inviting as it was just a few days ago. I don't like it. I have had enough of living alone, and it's only been two days since I got back. It's going to be a loooooooong couple of months until Murph can join me, I can see that already.

Well... what do normal people do? Eat, I guess. Shower. Make do. I guess that's where I'm at right now. Making do. Sounds like fun, no?

Is anybody out there?

Back in Ontario

Well, folks, I got back to K-W last night at around 8pm, and, after a quick bite, I found myself falling into a deep sleep for about 10 hours. That's what 13 hours on a bus will do to you, I guess.

Sorry for all the radio silence for the past few weeks, but, really, I was just concentrating on being there and having a good time. And I sure did. Murph and I camped out for two nights, swam nearly every day, shopped for the baby, watched a ton of movies, and generally relaxed and basked in each other's company. We even had a dinner-slash-pool-party for friends, just like a real couple! I am proud of us.

Sadly, I had to come home earlier than I had anticipated due to social/school obligations, but it was certainly good while it lasted. And if I cry randomly while wandering around my lonely apartment today, we'll just chalk it up to withdrawal.

So, I am back, Internet. Did you miss me?

PS> Felt the baby move for the first time a few days ago! Pretty thrilling, but also massively real, if you understand what I mean.

Shout Out

Got here safe and sound and having a great time.

Hope all is well.

Away!

Off to Ohio on the noon bus.

Will update when I can/feel like it!

Take care, all.

Ultrasound Pics

Sorry for the delay, but things have been crazy. Here are the promised pics - three images, each shown once with labels and once without. It was quite an experience - luckily, all is well. For more info, see here.

Heading for Ohio in the a.m.!

EEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Too excited to sleep - I have my ultrasound tomorrow... errr... today. Monday; at 1pm.

I know that this could turn out badly - it is the first look inside, and I am not unaware of all that could go wrong. But, mostly, I am just excited to see the little tadger move. Expect a picture as soon as I get back and hit the scanner.

EEEEEE!!!!!!!

Persieds

Coming Sunday night (and, to a lesser degree all week) to a sky near you!

Maggot Farming and Mushy Wheat

Was having breakfast and listening to CBC radio. Since I am also doing laundry, I have to periodically get up and leave my food.

My cereal, a very hearty bowl of Shredded Wheat, was not in good shape by the time I got back from transferring a load from the washer to the dryer. By the time I got back, the biscuits had completely collapsed with sogginess. Oh well, I thought, no sense to waste, so I started eating them anyway. I was listening to a very interesting piece with a woman (who, sadly, I did not get the name of) who has written a book on Victorian urban social history - very interesting stuff about paving policies and food technology, etc.

However, just as I was eating the slushiest part of my cereal, they started talking about maggot farming - a horror that I had never, ever considered before. And then they talked about the smell of maggots in abundance.

My stomach pretty much tried to make a break for it.

Now, does this qualify as morning sickness, finally, or are these conditions that would make anyone lose their breakfast? I'm not sure. But that was terrible.

Oh, CBC. You just couldn't talk about fresh bread and potted plants, could you? No. You had to be interesting, didn't you? Ugh.

Farewell Fritz

Fritz the cat headed back home today, and I am a little down about it. The place seems pretty empty without a feline friend.

Din-din, Fritzy?

Skirting TMI

Well, they say that digestive issues are common in pregnancy, largely due to hormone spikes, metabolism shifts and change in diet. And, man, they ain't kidding. Pregnant ladies, I have now found, either never poop or can't stop pooping. It is one of those little-publicized facts of pregnancy. Really, I think people should bring that up more around Mother's Day, because, man, do I owe my mum something nice, cause this is not fun.

So my current solution? I am starting the BRAT diet, with a few modifications.

The BRAT diet (standing for Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce and Toast) is geared towards stabilizing the digestive track and providing the essentials of life (to which I have added extra juice, water, Gatorade, active-culture yoghurt, cracked wheat crackers and plain tofu), without giving the body any more upsets than necessary. It involves a lot of dry, non-spicy foods, and is sort of like a vacation for the system. I was eating a lot of really tasty, intricate meals that were super rich in fiber and protein - healthy, but a bit much for the system to handle day in and day out, it seems. Now my body needs some rehab.

My plan is to follow this loosely (according to how I feel) throughout the weekend.

So far, so good - I started yesterday evening, and already I feel tons better today. Let's just hope this thing does its work before next Wednesday, when I am scheduled for a 13 hour bus ride to Ohio. That wouldn't be pleasant, otherwise, I guarantee it.

No, Cuba -- Bad, Cuba!

What the heck? Remember Cuba Gooding, Jr in As Good as it Gets (1997)? Remember his Oscar? What has happened to this guy? Man, even in as cringe-worthy a movie as Instinct (1999), he was good.

It is such a crime that he now finds himself, since Snow Dogs (2002) or so, in such craptastic fare as a terrible sequel to a terrible movie to begin with, Daddy Day Camp (2007). After the monumental embarrassment of the heinous Boat Trip (2002), you'd think he would have wised up. So very sad.

Can we start a petition or have an intervention or something? This guy needs to wake up and smell the talent, because he sure is wasting his.

Stop the Drilling!

There is some sort of machine outside my window that sounds exactly like a dentist's drill - as awful as it seems, trust me.

However, Amanda has immortalized both Murph and I now, so that's some good news. We can finally get the respect we deserve - as cartoon characters! (Oh, and btw, she is available for commissions and does all manners of styles, so drop a line if you are interested.)

And the happy couple - Murph the Writer, and Holly as Center of Attention. Just right...

Rise and Shine

Since the jackass cat has decided, in his infinite wisdom, that I needed to be up a half hour earlier than my alarm (which was intentionally set a half hour before I needed to get up, to give me time to snooze), here I am. I was trying to at least find something interesting in the news, but even the world doesn't really care about today, yet. So I got nothing.

So tired, I hurt. Good freaking morning, everybody.

Bone to Pick

Every day for the past five days or so, my clock radio has, even when set for different times, jarred me out of my blissful sleep to the dreadfully obnoxious strains of the whiny and terrible song "Working Class Hero" by Green Day. What the hell? Is this a conspiracy to give me a "musically"-induced brain tumor? I don't even know the whole song. I know only enough for the time it takes me to run from my bed, cursing, across the room to turn the bloody thing off.

Something must be done. True, it gets me up... but it is driving me mental.

There Would be Fireworks in Halifax Harbour

Natal Day weekend, as the August long weekend is known in Nova Scotia, comes with fireworks. One year, my mum came up to stay with me and we watched them from my balcony. That was great.

This year, I am celebrating in my own way. A bit of relaxation. And a chat in the rain with a small man wearing pink crocs...

So I guess that will be this year's image. Excellent.

Really, those are ugly shoes. Please stop.

Two Very Different Movies (and a Quick Third)

I saw two very different, yet equally engrossing movies recently. The first was the cult classic Harold and Maude (1971) and the second was Jesus Camp (2006).


Harold and Maude is the unlikely romance between a 20-year-old man/child, Harold, and the 79-year-old Holocaust survivor, Maude. Drawn by their peculiar habit of frequenting local funerals (he out of his obsession with death, her out of her desire to re-affirm life in the face of death), they become unlikely friends, though rather unwillingly on the part of Harold, who until he met Maude, was living a life of isolation amidst the wealth and privilege of his family. Maude, a free-spirit radical, a spirit of youth and freedom, manages to open Harold's eyes to the fact that life has a few advantages over death. Meandering and dulcet, this movie is hardly a thrill-ride, but it is enchanting in its own way, and quite wickedly funny in its moments. It is not hard to see how it has, from its humble beginnings as a box-office disaster, become recognized as one of the funniest American movies and has been selected for preservation by the National Film Registry of the Library of Congress. Directed by Hal Ashby and starring Bud Cort and the delightful Ruth Gordon, this is one not to be missed.

The second film, Jesus Camp, is far less enjoyable, but, nevertheless, is in its way also not to be missed. A documentary that hides its filmmakers and attempts to appear as "neutral," it is hard to imagine there wasn't an alarmist agenda behind the production of this film, because, truly, it is alarming. Briefly following the lives of Evangelical home-schooled children and the pastors and parents who raise them, it explores the process of the summer bible camp phenomenon. Having worked in a summer daily bible camp in my early Baptist phase (long story), I never really had a bad feeling about these things. Kids come, they colour a bit, they sing a few songs, they give their folks a break, and then they go home. Sure, it was Christian, but in the guitar strumming, general ethics sort of way. The titular Jesus Camp, however, is not like that.


Frankly, this movie terrified me. The sight of teary-faced 6 years olds screaming about the war on the liberals, the war on abortion, the war on non-believers in the government, etc... It sent chills down my spine. Comparing the fundamentalist beliefs of such camps with the more moderate (compassion over authoritarian) Christian radio commentator Mike Papantonio, one really gets the picture of the true divisions facing progress in the United States today - not just between the Christians and the non-Christians, but also for the Christians who are baffled by how such conservative and politically militant forces have hijacked the meaning of Jesus in America.

This film also gives a look at more personal conflicts. A fascinating, if painful, vision; one which I would like to see a follow-up. One small blond boy, in particular, of no more than seven or so, is seen crying and praying with anguish over his sinful, cynical nature - him, I want to know more about. Jesus Camp also give a new understanding to why so many young Christians contemplate (or even attempt) suicide. The guilt and fear is too much for some children, and I desperately want to know how that little boy fared.

In order to take the taste out of my mouth, I forayed into the ridiculous next, with Hot Fuzz (2007). That one, on the other hand, while amusing, could be missed without much harm. However, it did distract for two hours. So that was appreciated. I leave it to you which one you'd prefer.

Laying Low

Smog and humidity advisories scuttled my campus library plans for the day. I decided to stay home and get some work and cleaning done around here. Oh well, I have to go in next Tuesday, so I will try to roll it all up in one, so save bus fare and heat exposure. Why is August suddenly hell? And the summer was rolling along with pretty good weather there, for a while!

Well, today John drops of the Royal Fritz, who I will be cat sitting for a week. Yes, I know - pregnant ladies shouldn't be cat sitting. However, how could I resist? So, it will be a rubber-gloves-and-dust-mask good time for me the next while. But some furry companionship will be much appreciated.

On another good note, student loan money and pay all came in without hassle, so I am now very well with my head above water. Time to get my synagogue membership fee in the mail before the High Holidays, I think.

Wow - it's weird to think that fall is just around the corner. Hard to believe when I am melting to death.

It's Getting Hot in Here

Yes, even my dark little basement apartment is getting hot. When will this humid streak end? They say it might storm this afternoon (fingers crossed). I do hope so - I just did the dishes, and I feel like passing out. Nothing better than standing over a sink of hot water in a heat wave! Boy howdy!

Anyway, so much to do before I can go to Ohio. Ever have so much to do, you don't know what to do next? That's me now. Some of it is major, but most of it are smaller (though no less important) fiddly errands. All I can do is keep plowing and crossing stuff off. I hope for the best - Murph and I are both really eager for a visit. It will be the first time we have seen each other in person since I realized I was pregnant. Most couples can celebrate with dinner the night of the test. I have to run a gauntlet of tasks and gather mystical boons before I can celebrate.

On a brighter note, one of those tasks is my ultrasound on the 13th! Expect a pic, even if it does look like nothing better than a coffee bean floating in static. It will still be exciting, for me at least.

Pray for cooler times.

5 Important Songs

I got this from 42K: "This is the meme. Write about 5 or 10 (or so) songs that had an impact on your life, and tag five people to carry on."

Well, firstly, I am not going to tag anyone, but feel free to do it. Secondly, this isn't as easy as it looks. What does he mean my "impact"? Anyhoo, I picked 5 songs of importance, songs that seem to flavour my life (in no real order).

1)"What a Good Boy" (The Barenaked Ladies). This song means something very special between my husband and I, involving memories, experiences and plans, and so forth. He'll understand why it's on here, but I think I will leave it at that.

2)"G-d Save Ireland" (T.D. Sullivan). This song, though a bit more militaristic than I usually like to be, does inspire me. Sure I don't plan on dying on the gallows or the battlefield any time soon, but this song does help me when I lack courage.

3)"Farewell to Nova Scotia" (Traditional). A sweet bit of home, which always gets me in a deep place.

4) "Rock You Like a Hurricane" (Scorpions). OK, so by far the silliest entry, but one with good cause. This is my "pump song." I mentally sing this before every presentation I have to give. It makes me smile, distracts me, and generally makes me feel better. Ludicrous, but effective.

5) "At This Moment" (Billy Vera and the Beaters). I have no idea why I have decided to add this, but this song was the one playing when I was kissed for the first time. Somehow, it seemed like a fitting thing to kick off my romantic career.

Burning Up

Got a good dose of sun poisoning today. I am sure I mentioned it before, but I have a bit of an allergy to the sun - usually involving not just the normal burns, but also nausea, fatigue, headaches and sometimes blisters. It isn't pretty, nor is it comfortable.

Well, this afternoon, I think I overdid it a bit, so now I am paying the price. I am overheated and tired, and I had a skull-cracking headache that was pointing dangerously towards migraine territory. Luckily, I think I caught it in time, and a good night's sleep might set me to rights again. However, I am confining myself to my apartment tomorrow. I have learned the hard way not to push it - the second day in a row is usually what knocks me flat for a week.

Why isn't summer over?