Resolutions, 2011 Edition

2010 has been quite a year. I had my first professional fiction published, got my first academic job and my first real interview (coming up in January!), finished and received my PhD... All that has been wonderful. I have also spent the entire year living hand to mouth without a job, scraping and dodging, and trying to come up with every month's rent like a crisis. I guess you could say 2010 has been the best of times and the worst of times. I'm kind of glad it's over, but I have done a lot and made a lot of progress, so I am happy it went the way it did. It could have been more comfortable, but we survived.

So, now, in the last week of 2010 - some goals for the upcoming year.

1. To continue writing and improving at my writing, since i does make me happy, but to make it a smaller part of my waking hours.

2. To increase my academic publishing and conference record for the CV.

3. To continue to strive for a permanent teaching job, or, failing that, to secure term-by-term contracts all year so I don't have to deal with unemployment in 2011. Or, failing even that, to save as much as I can during the good times so the lean times won't be so stressful.

4. To do really, really well at my teaching - I need good evaluations for the job hunt, and I want to make myself proud of me.

5. To generally live a better life. Be healthier, keep a better home, stay on top of things and be less stressed. To enjoy my time with the tot more, and be a happier person. To have a better life, in all the big and small ways I can do that.

Happy 2011!

panicky

I have anxiety nausea, for some reason, and a deep feeling of dread, like bad things are going to happen. I hope it's just a weird paranoia feeling that will pass, but it is making me antsy. Trying to take a few deep breaths and calm down, but it's not working so far.

I have a ton of work to do tonight, but I am thinking of hitting the hay early with a book. Then again, doing some of that work might alleviate my anxiety, so I don't know.

Holy Carp - So Behind

This last week of sickness has really blown my plans to hell and back. I had been procrastinating a bit in "early December," thinking I could recoup later... but, then, chest colds hit and now I am boned. Now it is nearly "end of December," and I haven't even put a dent in my list, really - actually, I have even added tasks. :(

Work that Needs Immediate Attention:

• Need to complete Valentine's Day short story ASAP
• Need to re-write academic chapter ASAP
• Need to write 17 articles for an encyclopedia project by Jan 15 (new paying gig, added this week)
• Need to prep for my courses (ongoing)
• Need to finish up day care paperwork today so I can take it in tomorrow
• Bills and banking and such ASAP
• Prep for job phone interview...? (Not even sure how exactly to prep for that.)
• Try to get a handle on housework before teaching starts, esp laundry.

I also have a couple nifty blog posts in mind to do when I have a moment, so we'll see if I have some time. I will at least do my end of year wrap up and resolutions at some point this week. I would really like to finish up and polish my NaNo novel so I can submit it, so I can start on my Winter 2011 novel project. sigh... I'm going to stop thinking of what I need to do now, since the list just keeps growing.

WORK WORK WORK...

Merry Bogartmas!

... and a Happy New Year!

So Bizarre

I was Googling myself (you know, like one does occasionally to see what's out there), and I came across someone's thesis in PDF that uses extensively a chapter I wrote a couple of years ago. It's an odd feeling to read oneself written about like a real expert.

Very, very odd.

A Social Network Christmas

busy, busy, busy

Getting my two course sites up and running - brand new finalized syllabi are up in PDF, no less. I also designed the rough drafts for the term paper instructions and midterm for my in-class course, and marked out a time management plan on a separate calendar to make sure I can handle all the marking that comes with 160 students (100 first years; 60 third years).

I am also catching up on a bunch of academics-related emails that had fallen by the wayside while I fought off the plague - an editor of an encyclopedia wants to know if I can write them some entries, and some grad student wants me to participate in a panel discussion, and I had to do some follow up on some RA work and a job application.

The next couple of weeks will be dedicated to reading ahead for both courses, preparing lectures in advance (my in-class course and one guest lecture), re-writing that chapter, and doing those two Valentine's Day short stories. I also want to finish and edit my NaNo novel so I can submit it to a publisher in January... That's a lot to do, with not a lot of time to do it.

Also, as a side note, the tot has discovered that claiming to need to go poop in the potty is a great way to defer bedtime for at least 20 minutes. Kid's an evil genius for sure.

Sickness; Parenting Woes

Sprout is fairly ill - fever and a bad cough. He's a trooper, but he was really sluggish today. Now I feel my chest starting to ache, as well.

I've also been a little obsessed with coaxing him to talk more, since daycare is making me panicky (places like that love to label kids, and I don't want him stuck with three different forms of therapy this year or something).

Uh oh - I hear a coughing tot. Must go.

It's a Deal

We visited the daycare today, and it was, indeed, lovely. Tot loved it - I know it will be a different thing when he is there without me, but I have confidence he will adjust to it. It's a nice place, safe and well-run. All will be well.

I plunked down the down payment, so his spot is all scheduled. He starts January 4th, and will be there Mondays and Tuesdays for the rest of the term.

The only hitch is that they expect me to pay for January's care by the end of December, which is a bit tight, but I think I can juggle it all. The important thing is that everything is going ahead as planned, and the tot will be fine when I am teaching.

So, now to move ahead with preparing my course, since it's really real now.

Daycare!

I found an actual daycare! It was touch and go, and everything seemed full, but this one is just down the street (!!), has its own playground, and has a music teacher. I couldn't get one day a week, like I wanted, as they have a two day minimum, so he'll be there Mondays and Tuesdays. Mondays I teach on campus, so I guess I can make Tuesdays my online course day.

We go tomorrow to see the place and talk to the staff, and fill out the paper work if we like it. I have walked past there many times, and it seems ideal, so I am not too concerned it won't pass the look-see test. I am kind of sad, but am so pleased I managed to find him a good situation so I can do my course.

Now, I am actually thinking of getting a cell phone, if you can believe it!

icky feeling

I hate that feeling you get when a hunch tells you someone is mad at you, but they don't just say so. That guilty paranoia - makes me sick to the tummy.

:(

Potty Progress

YAY! The tot just went potty all by himself for the first time!

I was sitting, working, and I heard this watery sound, and I ran into the bathroom to see what he was up to, only to find proud little man pointing down into his potty to show me what he'd done.

Mommy is very, very happy.

Naked time is definitely the way to potty train.

***

ETA: This pee was swiftly followed up by a Number Two in the potty, again on his own initiative. He then hopped in the tub to wash himself without being told. Man, when this kid finally gets a concept, he runs with it!

Sanctimonious Cow

I just got lectured about how hard it is on children to only be in daycare one day a week by some yuppie daycare cow. Yes, because stowing my child in their baby warehouse five days a week like some business-hour orphan is so much nicer for him, I am sure.

And I suppose the massive cost of Monday-Friday daycare has nothing to do with their concerns over my child's one-day-a-week arrangements. I am sure.

Gah!

The End of the Rope

Today has been nuts. I got two good reviews on two different holiday books, discovered one of them is on a seller's best sellers list, and finally got to see my new cover for the May 2011 novel. Oh, and the magazine featuring my article finally came from the UK - no check yet, though.

This same day, I discovered I have zippo childcare options open to me, so I have no idea if I can teach next term. I also had someone threaten to sue me, since they claim they own the copyright to the title of my aforementioned best seller, so now it's been pulled from all venues until it can be renamed and a new cover can be made, and I will have to re-start the PR campaign.

I am also getting low on supplies, and this storm is making everything ten times more difficult, as lugging a toddler in a foot of snow is not conducive at all to grocery shopping. I have also not heard back about my phone interview, so I guess that is probably dead now.

And just now, I stepped on the tot's favourite new Sesame Street cup, which he left, filled with orange juice, sitting in the hallway on the floor. Another thing for the trash bag.

So, now I am broken.

argh

Well, spending the day trying to figure out childcare for next term so I can teach (yeah, I know - I'm a little late). It looks like there is nothing available, so I'll likely have to turn to whomever has hung their shingle, which makes me want to vomit with anxiety. The thought of leaving him with some random somebody... Good Lord, this is not what I had in mind when I decided to reproduce.

It's either that or give up the job, and I think if I quit now, just weeks before the already-full course was supposed to start, I can pretty much kiss my teaching career goodbye.

This sucks.

How To Know Whether Or Not You Are Ready To Have Children:

MESS TEST:

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST:

Obtain a 55 gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing tacks).

Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake the child.

GROCERY STORE TEST:

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST:

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST:

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls off soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more songs and sing these too until 4:00 a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST FOR SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS:

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil.

Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST:

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies, mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.

PHYSICAL TEST: (Women)

Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now, remove the beans and let the bag just hang there.

PHYSICAL TEST: (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the manager's office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT:

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.

Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

s'okay

I have a really nasty headache - right in my left temple - so I am not working or doing much of anything at my usual speed. However, other than that I am generally okay. My syllabus is coming along fine - I just have a few more readings to find and add.

Oh, and I got my sales report for October 2010 - my short book released on Oct 10 sold 20 copies in October. Now, that only adds up to about $4 for me, but a copy a day is not that bad. A little sad if you compare it to Oprah's book club, but, for me, I'm not too disappointed.

Going away from the computer for a while to let my head rest.

Happy Holidays!

All I want for Hanukkah is a tankard of coffee... Please.

phooey

Feeling down and remorseful about not being able to go to that conference to meet the hiring committee in person. Overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness and futility, and the sense that I will never get a real job because I don't have enough money to compete for them.

My advisor's pessimism has gotten me again. I know she is right. Not going has already sunk my application. There really is no point in even doing a phone interview. This job will go to someone who has a rich enough family or enough credit or a good enough job to afford travel.

One truth that is eternal - if you are poor, the world works to keep you that way.

Only the well-off can afford to better their situation.

The rest of us better just get on welfare so the well-off can have someone to look down on.

I know my place.

More Ups and Downs

What a day.

I woke up with some sort of stomach thing that kind of ruined my morning, but I got over it. I did some book promo stuff, which was all fine, and then I fixed my library privilege issue, which is great.

THEN, I get an email... My heavens, such an email. A school in the States wants to interview little ol me for a Real Tenure Track Job!

They said, specifically - if you are in town for such-n-such conference, we could easily meet up there. OR (as we know not everyone will be able to go), we can do phone interview just as easily.

I sat there for a good two minutes, absolutely stunned. I have never gotten this far in a real job search. This position, though extremely well-suited to my education and research interests, is really about five years out of my league. I was thrilled. Terrified. Shocked.

But ecstatic. This is real progress, folks!

So, I email my ex-advisor with the news, and she promptly informs me that if I don't go to the conference, I've lost it from the start, because if I take the phone option I will not get the job.

...

So, deflated, I pretty much lost all excitement within 20 minutes of that e-mail. There is no way I can afford to travel to the States, and knowing that the phone interview is likely a waste of time did not help me.

BUT, I start to think... Hey, the guy said either way was fine, so I'm going to take that as his word, and do what I can. Yes, the in-person people will have an edge, but I am also perfect for the job (minus the one to five years of teaching experience most people have before they are even considered for a tenure track job). I'm personable, and, frankly, in-person is not always a bonus if you are not great looking or well dressed or a seasoned travellor, right?

She has her point, but I am going to assume I am not yet licked.

And, in any case, this really is progress that I managed to survive the first round of cuts and got this far. This is Big News.

So, I start to bring myself out of it all. And I call my mum, and she agrees this is very exciting. And I ask her about her day.

My dad is in hospital tonight. He got another windpipe obstruction, so they are removing it and doing some sort of procedure to widen his windpipe. And tests for throat cancer.

So...

Yes.

It's been quite a day.

Hoping for the best on all accounts.

pray for mojo

I might be scarce for the next while.

I am, as always, trying to work as much as I can for money - got some typing to do, so that is good stuff I can do from home. Plus, I really need to work ahead on my courses. I have my course outlines due to the dept for next term by the 1st-3rd of December, and a heck of a lot of writing to do on top of that.

I want to have two short stories, my novel and an academic chapter all ready to submit by the end of December. I will also likely soon have the edits on my novel to do, whenever they send them to me. (Tonight, I have a novella galley to proof.) As usual, I should also be promoting my available works whenever I can, which is a pain in the butt. I have to make a trailer for my upcoming release this weekend, before I forget to do it.

blaaaaah.

Happy Thanksgiving, America!

A little diversion for those of us not celebrating in more traditional ways.

This Year, Get Her Goats

Looking for some holiday gifts, I came across this year's Oxfam gift store, and thought to share it. I'm not made of money, but I think a bucket of composting worms is pretty reasonable at $18. Or a load of manure, or a hive of bees? Looking for something a bit bigger? How about a tribe of goats at $275? That's a pretty great price for six goats.

If you're not into farming, Oxfam also has a variety of gifts specifically for women and children, such as school, infant and home supplies, which are certain to bring a smile to someone's face.

The Oxfam store is a simple, wonderful way to show someone you love that you care - about them and about hungry people around the globe.

How does it work? You pick out which gift you'd like a struggling farm family to receive, and your loved one gets a card, letting them know what vital agricultural element or home product has been gifted in their name.

If you are trying to figure out what to get for someone who has everything, please consider giving something to someone who has practically nothing.

http://www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com/minnie.html

Guilty Conscience

I feel really guilty.

I took Sprout to the park today, and on the way home he pitched this long, drug out temper tantrum - all the way home. He refused to walk or be carried, so I basically had to fling him under my arm and struggle him on home. He is not very light any more, especially when he is flailing and I am sick as a dog.

As he kicked and flailed and struggled, he kept knocking his hat off - this really ugly hat he picked out for himself and adored for some reason. Any way, about the fifth time it flew off, I told him if he did it again, I wouldn't go back for it. I was an inch away from bursting into tears myself with humiliation and frustration, and every minute or so a boot or something would go flying and I couldn't handle trying to keep everything juggled.

Well, he knocked it off once more, so we left it. He cried, but by that point I just wanted to get home. It stayed on the sidewalk.

Now I feel like an enormous heel about it. He doesn't seem to be mourning the loss, but I feel so mean. I admit I am having difficulty coping with his public (and even his private) tantrums, and sometimes I just reach the limits of my sanity. Still, I feel bad about him losing his hat.

I just can't shake the feeling that I am constantly screwing up, and it's wearing on me.

Life isn't great right now.

The Best Canadian Movie, Ever?

I had heard some good things (and some bad) about the movie The Trotsky, but I admit I was not fully prepared for how good this thing would be. I enjoyed it so much, I can't even tell you how good it is. You should just see it yourself.

So, with that - move over Porky's - The Trotsky really may be the best Canadian movie. I only add the "may" because I haven't seen every Canadian movie ever made... But I am not really stressing the maybe. It is only a technicality. Maybe.

Well, that Stung

You know what's great? When you ask someone for a recommendation letter and they get back to you saying they'd be happy to, but warning you what a long shot it is.

Thanks, I really needed that shot in the arm! Good work, there.

Why bother? There are like 6 positions in the whole world, and a thousand PhDs, with about 20 hotshots and the rest of us are just sessional fodder.

Whatever. I'm sticking to community college want ads from now on.

Sometimes it's just best to know your level, I guess.

***

ETA: On the bright side, though, her honesty just cut something off my to-do list this term, so that is certainly a plus.

Work Work Work

You know, for an unemployed person, I sure am busy these days.

My NaNoWriMo project is steaming along, at about 36.5k - only 15k until I meet the minimum requirement, which I should reach this week (fate and toddler willing), but the book is meant to be more along the lines of 60-65k, so it will take me a bit longer to reach that. I am also looking for interested publishers. I thought I had one in mind that seemed terrifically ideal, but with further research I am not so sure. I am thinking of playing with the big boys and sending it to Harlequin's e-book off print. We'll see how that goes.

This week, one of my short erotic romances releases for sale, and on December 10th my Christmas romance comes out. I have to remind myself to do those book trailers, ASAP. sigh. In December, I will have to write a couple Valentine's stories if I can find the time, as well, since next term I won't have the time to write much. (Planning one novella for all of next term, so I have to make hay while the sun shines.)

In other writing news, I finished off one freelance gig for a mag in the UK, and some editing work (some for money, some for my upcoming fiction releases), and am now off to re-write an academic chapter I submitted for an edited volume. The editor said he wanted the topic in the book, but didn't like my "flow." So, we'll see what we can do about that. He offered to call me to discuss it, but given the tot's obsession with the phone, that is so not a good idea at the moment. The editor has AIM, so maybe we'll go that way. Though it will be a ton of work to re-write the thing, I have hopes of doing it before the New Year.

I continue hoping to squeeze in some time to convert the dissertation for publication, as well. High hopes, indeed!

In terms of work, I submitted a really important job application (for a Real Job, yo), which was a lot of scurrying. I also applied for another class here for next term, which I actually got (YAY!), so now I am busy trying to prepare for two courses running from Jan to April 2011. It's hard work, and a bit stressful, but really exciting. I am starting to look forward to my courses. Check in again in February, though, as that excitement will likely have worn off by then. The finalized syllabi are due to the dept by December 1, so that is my task for the next while. Then I can start stockpiling lectures and materials, and start working on the course websites. I have a couple more applications for Sept 2011 due in January, and I am hoping the job ads for summer courses will come out soon, so there will soon be that fun, as well.

Aside from all that, which I think is a lot, there has also been the day-to-day mommy/life stuff, but that's a lot less interesting, so I shall spare you. Soon, I need to start preparing for the holidays, as well, so FUN FUN FUN there. sigh.

I hope everyone is well, and bears with me as I often neglect this poor old blog. I will return when I can.

There's my completely uninteresting, utilitarian post. Enjoy!

Remembrance Day

Today is always an odd day for me. As a pacifist, I sometimes feel a conflict with my patriotism, as there are times when pacifistic ideals are not consistent with what the general public sees as patriotism. To a pacifist, I guess, the love of one's country does not spell out, "My Country, Right or Wrong," but is invested in wanting the best for the country, but also expecting the best of the country. Remembrance Day, then, is a conflicted day for me, especially since it has been adopted by less-clear-cut wars.

The Canadian involvement in WWI and WWII were, in terms of human effort, nothing short of heroic, even for those of us who don't often use that term in connection with soldiering. These were not wars of aggression, as Canada stood to gain no territory, and in many ways they were fought to halt aggression, according to history. Yet, I do not see them as purely altruistic wars. Yes, WWII saved the lives of millions of Jews and other prisoners in Nazi occupied territories, but the myth that WWII was waged to save the Jews is as erroneous as it is harmful.

They were actually wars fought to support the mother country, Britain, and, to a lesser extent, other allies. And, in this, I can see the point of the French and the Irish who resisted conscription on the basis that England was not their mother. Protecting ties is not altruism; it is merely protecting the symbiotic web upon which you rely.

And, while history records these wars as "Good Wars," I also have a deep-seated discomfort with claiming any war "good"... though, I suppose since Canada did not start these wars, we cannot primarily pin the bad on them.

Having said all that, there are in fact three interconnected reasons why I, as a pacifist, wear the poppy and keep Remembrance Day (aside from it being deeply soaked into my Nova Scotian roots).

First, Remembrance Day reminds me that WWI was Canada's birth. Though the nation factually dates to Confederation, Canada did not actually shed its colonial identity until WWI, and the way we see ourselves is deeply embedded in the trenches of Vimy Ridge, Ypres, Passchendaele, Beaumont Hamel... Places of unimaginable muck and gore, but also of strength and incredible will power. For a nation who claims that having no identity is our identity, we seem to get an awful lot of our sense of selves from these places. Like that legendary crucified soldier, we see ourselves as tireless workhorses, dedicated to our causes, and plain but powerful. Canadians, if nothing else, stand our ground, and work without complaint in some of the roughest conditions (or so we like to imagine).

It was WWI were Canada first fought not as a corps of the UK, but as Canadians, and it was WWI during which Canadians learned that people thought of them as "Canadians," a reputation that took on a specific character during WWI that has stuck.

Second, I wear it not out of support for the nations who wage war like bloody games of life-size chess from paper-strewn offices, but for the men and women who died. I don't give into the rhetoric of "they died for my freedom" as much as others do, but I can express grief that they died, nonetheless. The brightest flower of multiple generations was snuffed out during the world wars. And the poppy is worth it, for that reason alone, but it also shows solidarity with the now old men who gave up their carefree youthes to see what most of us, thankfully, do not have to witness.

Third, I wear the poppy to remind myself of all these, and the million other, ambiguities of war. The bright, cheerful head of the poppy waves over the bones of people killed in ways I cannot fully imagine. Today, we feel pride and sadness, horror and also a kind of happiness. War made Canada, but we are something of a peaceful nation. A crucified soldier might be forever in glory, but he remains just as dead, and just as mutilated. Blood and mud and excrement, the reality, gives way to this bright, shiny thing in history, which is also a type of reality for those of us who live in the fruits of their labour. And every time I put on my coat, I am reminded of that ambiguity of war, which keeps me neither too patriotic, nor too pacifist.

So, yes... I am a conflicted pacifist wearing a poppy today. And a Canadian, whatever that means. Most of the time, I am simply in the trenches of life trying to keep my matches dry. But, today, it's good to remember.

musings II

Ever have one of those "what the hell is the point of anything?" days.

That's me, today.

Musings

I have realized something. If I am too down and worried, etc, people get angry at me for being too negative. If I am too upbeat, eventually people will turn on me to bring me down. The only thing I can think is that the middle path is best, and I should express neither my ups nor my downs. And, when that fails, just stop saying anything altogether.

Dissertation II: Revamping the Diss

So, I have a mandate from a university press to re-write a couple chapters of the dissertation and submit it with a prospectus, ASAP, for consideration for publication in a totally awesome series that I would die to get into.

So... On the agenda:

• Remove theory, lit review and such.
• Change communitarianism/liberalism to identity discourses of collectivism and individualism.
• Up the film history/film studies and cultural studies quotient.
• Re-write the dust out of it, and make it more for educated general readers.
• Cut it down to a more respectable length.

Ok... so, now we turn back to the dissertation, and try not to vomit as I set, once more, to editing the beast. After a lecture on it in Sept, a short derivative work from it in Oct, a come-on from a magazine to do a short piece on it, and now this... I am starting to think I may never get away from it.

Just when you thought it was over... IT'S BACK!

Well, I'm Gradded.

Thanks to everyone who helped me make it this far, and especially those who helped me make it to the actual ceremony. It was a special day... even if they did dress me like this!

Thanks!

happy hallowe'en!

The Life of an Article

This is the true and very frustrating story of a recent article that has been hanging over me for basically ever.

• April 2006: I write a paper for a graduate class that I really like. I file it away for future publication.
• April 2009: I pull out this paper, and dust it off for publication. I send it to a quarterly mag I know in the field. They say they love it, and will get back to me with edits.
• January 2010: I email again to inquire as to what is happening with that article. They respond - so sorry, it got missed in the process, etc etc... We'll get on it.
• April 2010: I receive and do a series of edits. Am told it is done, and to please send suggested illustrations, which I do.
• May 2010: On my birthday, the week of the biggest event of my career (requiring a lot of preparation), I get an urgent email - Please do this huge gob of edits for us, and please send illustrations, as we need to run this article this week. I do the edits (ON MY BIRTHDAY), and re-send illustrations.
• June 2010: Am told the article was bumped from that issue, due to some mid-east crisis, and it will run in the fall issue.
• September 2010: Get email from a different editor, and am asked to do whole new set of edits, which I do. Am also asked to send illustrations suggestions, which I re-send. Am told again that the article is fine, and will run in November issue.
• October 2010: Get an email (at 8pm Saturday night) from yet another editor, and am asked to do a whole new round of edits - largely putting back in the stuff that ED1 and ED2 gutted out of the thing in the more than a year and a half these people have had it. Am asked to do these by Monday, as they are running it the following week.

Well, I did the edits and sent them in, so now I guess it *may* run. I emailed and asked if they need me to re-send the illustrations, as I assume they will. I mean, why not make it four times I have been asked, right?

ARGH.

Doesn't Feel Much Like Hallowe'en Around Here...

Yet!

But today, I must sally forth and find a clown wig, some face paint and some small spooky prezzie for the special little man in my life. We will hang the Hallowe'en pumpkin on the door, and maybe head to the park to carve the real one (leave those seeds for the squirrels, yo!). Maybe we'll see what little treats we can scare up, as well.

Festivities for the next few days will be hot and heavy - grad ceremony tomorrow, trick-o-treating on Sunday, and possibly some Ghostbusters fun somewhere in between.

Happy Hallowe'en, all!

huh

It's 7am, and I am desperately (and quietly) trying to hunt down the fourth set of wheels for the little stroller so we can take the bus today without me having to wrassle a toddler into his set the whole way. (The big stroller is iffy to fit on a bus in morning rush.) I found one of the two lost sets, but the other is still MIA.

The tot is certainly mechanically-minded, which is great... now if he could just put things back together after he dissects them, that would be really great.

Long Time No Blog

Hi folks. I am still alive. Still trying to organize money (which I spend about 65% of my time doing - and people say poor people are lazy!). Been working on stuff and at some shifts. Nothing too exciting. Things are generally okay.

Hope all is well with everyone out there.

good morning world

winter teaching term

I just put in my textbook order for the course I am teaching in the winter. Excitement! I have to submit the course pack by November 15, so that's the next phase of fun. The syllabus is then due by December 1.

I still have to figure out how to set up and manage the course online crap - the learning site or what have you (they changed systems this year - whoppeee!), and I should get cracking on doing the lectures and such so I have some leg room during the term.

The enrollment limit is 60, and it's at maximum capacity!

But the guest lecture I did in Sept, and the ones coming up, leave me feeling optimistic about this first teaching job, so I am in good spirits about it.

And I have to admit, it's kind of nifty to see your name in the "Professor" box. :)

Graduation

I just got some official emails regarding convocation, so all systems look a-go. I have plans in place to cover the rent, etc, for November 1st, and it looks like I might actually get to go (if everything goes well).

So, 10am, Oct 29.

I'm kind of excited, actually.

Happy Thanksgiving!

IAN & SYLVIA ~ Four Strong Winds ~

working forward

I have a week to decide on a dissertation chapter for a project a scholar asked me to contribute to... Which means I have left it too late to ask for advice on which chapter, which sucks. However! I am resolved to make the effort... So now I will be forced to look at the dissertation again. blah.

In other (good) news, I finished writing my holiday short a bit ahead of schedule, and ill be trying to burn through my other two short writing projects this month, so I should see some release dates coming up soon. I got very positive feedback on the guest lecturing I did last month, and have two guest lectures coming up soon. I also think I finally finished that Chaplin project, so I should see that released in the near future - and that one pays! Huzzah.

I also have some job/postdoc apps and things that look ok - or at least with trying range - for the next little while - mostly starting next summer or fall.

Just wanted to let everyone know everything isn't all bad. I'm working on things.

well, now we know

Turns out the work I was hoping for later in the term is a no-go, as the guy who was going to hire me is obligated to hire a registered student. Since I am now finished, I am ineligible. Wow, finishing was really in my best interest, eh?

sigh.

Joni Mitchell-A Case of You

october's safe... now for november

Well, paid the last of the bills for October, so now I will have a couple of weeks without harassing calls, etc. This is my favourite part of the month. The calm before the storm starts up again, as it were... Now, I have to start worrying about making the last week of Oct/first week of Nov gauntlet run, but it's at least not to a stressful point, yet.

Also still keeping in mind that $115 I need to attend graduation, if I can... Not a huge concern compared to the others, but still important to me.

Work, however, is getting rather fever pitch. By October 15th, I am hoping to have the Xmas novella and an Xmas short ready for submission, a chapter for the dissertation ready to send to a fellow editing a volume, and my bookstore order in for the class next term. I also have the Chaplin article to edit this week, some job apps, and some editing work coming up, as well as two lectures to give later in the month. That's a lot of words to produce in just a few short weeks. Let's hope the squid doesn't run out of ink any time soon.

All that and the fun of regularly scheduled human survival maintenance! YAY!

So, nothing to do but to do it, I guess.

Aaaaaaannnnnddd... GO!

sand monster got me

When my system works, I manage to put the tot to bed and then to stay up and write at night. In this way, I am able to put away 1-4,000 words in solitude. The system, when it works, is great.

When it doesn't, I accidentally fall asleep while putting the tot to bed, and wake up feeling discouraged because it is 7am, and I got nothing done.

I think the system needs tweaking.

well, that's it, then.

I just checked my online records with the university. It now says "graduate."

I'm officially done - just gotta wait for the piece of paper to arrive.

Now, they call me Dr Tibbs.

Neil Diamond - I Am... I Said (Stereo!)

The Zombies - Time of the Season (HD) (MolotovTV)

behind

Recent tasks and upheavals (and, I'll admit it, too much sleep and slacking) have left me behind on my current writing projects.

I meant to have my 15k holiday short done for tomorrow, but as I only have about 2k done, that ain't gonna happen. I managed to get an extension until Oct 15, but I can only afford to give myself until Oct 5, or it will knock out my 5k holiday erotic short and my 7k Valentines Day short.

So, 15k short for Oct 5 (which means about 4k a day in order to find time for editing and maybe a beta reader); Oct 15 for my 7k Valentine's Day short; Nov 1 for my 5k holiday erotic... and then Dec 31 for my full length novel.

(Not to mention the job apps I want to do, and the academic chapter I want to submit for October 15, which will require me to select and renovate a dissertation chapter. And course prep for next term, of course, and some editing, etc, for money, as well as another lecture to do for October.)

Yowzers.

WRITE WRITE WRITE! GO GO GO!

Another Month Conquered

After a marathon day of errands, rent is paid, and so are my school fees, so I am pleased to say my degree will be officially wrapped up in October. I am still not sure I'll be able to go, as that will depend on scraping up $115 for the grad gown fees, but I will at least get the degree itself.

And now we have tapioca to celebrate! :D

One of the Best Songs, Ever

Still alive, though exhausted.

But I could listen to this song forever.

lecture

Trying to prepare a three hour class for tomorrow, but I'm having a hard time forcing myself to do the work. Part of it is I am freaked out about printing all those pages off, but I just figured out the main reason.

Doing this will mean I have to look at my dissertation again after nearly four months of freedom from the damn thing. This is also why I haven't been able to prepare the submission an editor has requested for a volume he's putting together.

I am really reluctant to ever open that damn thing ever again.

But, duty calls. sigh.

sniffles

I had the makings of a migraine all day today, which I attributed to the humid weather. And I had some coughing and such, which I attributed to asthma... Now, I have a stuffy nose and am sneezing like mad. I am tempted to attribute this to allergies.

But I fear I must admit I may be getting sick.

yippeeeee.

TCB

I working on problems, and trying to keep on writing. I feel I am making progress on both scores. I hope.

I am hoping I can juggle grad fees, rent and bills, while not starving... We'll see about that.

Just wanted to give you an update, in case you were concerned the stress finally pushed me off the deep end.

:P

*laugh of insanity*

I emailed my advisor to let her know that it now looks pretty unlikely I will be able to afford to graduate, only to find out that she left town without remembering to leave me the $200 she owes me. (Money that was once earmarked to pay the uni fees, but which I now desperately need for a bill, to put towards rent, or possibly food.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, lordy. It would be HILARIOUS if it wasn't so fucked up.

So Very Screwed

The money that I was expecting to finally come in today (after not coming last month) now will not likely come until November 20, at the latest. Now I do not have money for the rent, or bills, let alone the back fees I owe the university for which they are holding my degree ransom. Never even mind about the stupid grad gown fee, as that is not even on my radar screen any more.

I am going down in flames.

Update: Still Alive

I am hanging in there. Trying to get my work done, and feel ok.

Spent a good portion last night helping my advisor complete the application package for the award I will not be there in person at grad to receive, even if I win it by some miracle. (sigh.) Today, I worked towards banking some posts for the author blog, to free up my week a bit for "real writing." I've also got a butt load of academic stuff to do this week - a lecture or two to write/prepare, a chapter of the diss to modify for publication, a couple job postings to address.

So, yep - that's about it. Nothing fancy, but I'm hanging in there.

LA TRAVIATA - Drinking Song

I'm Glad It's Raining

I always loved this song.

I kind of feel like I am about to crack.

But... I can't/won't.

So what, I won't be able to go to convocation? Who cares about that?

I am alive, and I will continue to survive. Somehow, I will do that.

I am heart sore at being here in exile right now, and not in Nova Scotia where I belong, where I have people who remember my name without being reminded.

But I have the tot. And myself.

I will manage, because I have to.

End of story.

not so happy friday

I regret to say I called home today to hear that my aunt Cathy passed away this morning after a long battle with cancer.

Sending all positive thoughts to my family all the way back home, especially to her two children.

I wish I could be with my mum this week as she buries her baby sister.

poop, again

So now, after finagling to figure out a way to pay the university the back money I owe them for fees and such, in order to be able to graduate in October, it now turns out that I need to pay an additional $115 for gown rental (NOT a deposit, which is another $100 - it is non-refundable), which means I will not be attending convocation.

However, I think I have the fees under control, so I will be receiving my piece of paper... In a tube, through the mail, like every other degree since high school.

Oh well. Purple never was my best colour, anyway.

happy friday!

Woke up at 4, found an acceptance in my email (!), did the edits, and sent them back... all before 6am... all before my morning coffee!


ETA: I'm going to enjoy having my story accepted, and not let people get to me, or think about things I'm behind on, etc. Or get bogged down in guilt over anything. I'm going to enjoy this, and I am going to enjoy this day.

at the moment...

Please, carry on.

Paint it Black

hump day

Today, I have to tame this messy living room down a bit, and I have to scrounge up some groceries on a very little money. And I have to do some major writing, since I have been really groggy and slacking these past few days.

I also want to think about sending in the short story by the end of the week, if possible - I think I need the motivation another acceptance would give me. I've used up the motivation from the first one, I guess.

I'm a bit glum today, but I'm hoping some coffee and productivity will help with that.

Just keep on rolling.

Some Good Morning Music

Such a Moron

Who? Me. I'm a moron.

I put things off and put things off, playing chicken with reality, to the point where I make my own troubles.

sigh.

perspective

You know what's crazy? I never did give myself a pat on the back for finishing my PhD. I spent no time celebrating that or savouring it. I went on to job hunting and the teaching portfolio. And then I got a course. And I didn't pause to enjoy that, either. I then moved on to getting my novel published. But then you know what happened? It got accepted, and I didn't really feel good about that, either! Now I am on to getting some short pieces published and my full length written, etc.

It's crazy, when you think about it. I never appreciate my laurels. I only see "what next?" I'm like a shark who'll die if she stops.

You know how some people look in the mirror and see themselves as fat, no matter how skinny they are? I am like that, but with brains or accomplishments, or personal triumphs, etc. I am just never satisfied, no matter what I do. I never have been.

Anyway, this song helps me pause and put all this in perspective. It reminds me that I really need to take a moment and enjoy my grad this time, since I have never bothered going to any of my previous university graduations. I always just got them to mail me the degree, because I was already off to new goals.

That's a problem. I need to do something about that.

Team America - Freedom isn't free

NaNoWriMo? Anyone?

Folks, I am considering joining up for NaNoWriMo for November 2010, which challenges writers to complete a new 50,000 word novel in one month... Am I insane?

Pros:

• I have finished my paranormal erotic in draft, and now have to do my holiday novella for October, which means my planned full length novel (of 60,000-65,000 words) will be done entirely (aside from the 1,400 prologue I did in August and the outlines) in November and December, anyway, so I can start my winter 2011 full length project on time in January 2011. (I would, of course, not include the already written prologue in the 50,000 words for November, and just start with Chapter One.)
• NaNoWriMo would force me to write the rough draft in November (so I can then edit/re-write in December) in a way that makes the panic somewhat fun.
• Deadlines are good, and since this novel has no publisher yet, it would be useful to have a fire under me. Otherwise, I might falter.
• I can encourage donations to a worthy cause.
• I think I can do it, as it is reasonable to assume I can aim for 1k per day, with at least one or two days a week resulting in 4-5k. (This has been my average so far.) Ergo, 30 days x 1k + (4 days x 5k) = 50k, give or take.
• There's no loss if I don't make it, other than Pride Wounds.

Cons:

• I have a toddler, so any formal obligation is hard to commit to.
• I am anxious about what kind of quality writing NaNoWriMo usually produces.
• I have a toddler.
• I dislike Pride Wounds.
• I have a toddler.
• I would be forced to wait until Nov 1 to get back to the full length if I made this commitment, even if I finished the holiday novella well before that. (Though, this might leave me time to squeeze in another short, or even take a little break to work on non-fiction stuff.)
• I have a toddler.

So... any thoughts?

Shana Tova Umetukah

The Bangles - If She Knew What She Wants

three current projects

This term, I have three writing projects on the go:

• A short holiday romance (10,000 words, approx.)
• A paranormal erotic short story (ca. 4,000 words)
• A contemporary full-length (65,000 words, max)

The holiday story is due for November 1, and the short story can be done "quickly," and the full-length is not on any deadline except my own, but I want it done before the new year so I can start shopping it to publishers and start my winter term novel.

So, I guess I should hit the holiday romance first, do the erotic one in some burst of sudden enthusiasm, and work steadily at the full-length throughout the term, right?

But I find myself so lax in energy and motivation right now.

I remind myself of Philip Roth's wise advice:

"The amateur waits for inspiration; the professional just gets up and goes to work."

So, I'm just going to get up and go to work...

Watch me go...

Tom Waits- I Hope I Don't Fall In Love With You

Tom Waits "Hold On"

sleep is my nemesis

I've been sleeping way too much.

Not sure why, but possibly the nice weather, or the fact that I've only been drinking coffee only during the day, and none after supper. Whatever it is, I always mean to stay up after the tot goes to bed so I can write, but I just don't make it. I fall asleep with him while putting him to bed!

So, I've been getting 8 hours a night, which is nice for my body, but not so nice for my three writing projects I want to get done this term. Seriously not nice for the 1K word goal I have per day. Writing during the day is not always possible, so I just need to forgo sleep.

Coffee, it is.

Getting By

I'm writing when I can, though not as much as I should, and keeping things on an even keel. Trying to avoid negativity and keeping to myself.

In general, a nice, rainy weekend.

Thinking of Home

Nova Scotia, hunker down and watch yourself until Earl passes you by.

Cat Stevens - Miles From Nowhere

long weekend

So, what's everybody got planned for the long weekend?

Here, if the humidity is indeed better, I plan on taking care of some long overdue house chores:

• deep clean the kitchen and bathroom
• clear out fridge and freezer
• picking up everywhere and doing the floors
• catching up on back laundry
• getting rid of all that recycling piling up
• boxing up all extra books, etc, to unload them on a book seller
• clearing out the bedroom for a play room
• convert crib to tot bed

That's a lot to do in one weekend, but I can't put it off any longer. I can't just delay it any more because tot will get in the way - I'll just have to work around him.

So, not really exciting plans for the long weekend, really, but I'm enthusiastic about it, at least. :)

Time Out For Fun

hope?

I might be digging myself out of the hole a bit - not much, but enough to see light. Possibly.

Cross your fingers for me.

money

So, if I don't get together an extra $300 by Sept 30, I will not graduate in October. This on top of the rent and other bills (plus food) I need to scrape up from lord knows where this month.

So, yeah. I won't be graduating this October. Not sure if I ever will now.

I am so glad I wasted so much tuition over the past years. So terribly glad.

not much to say, really

It's hot, humid, smoggy and nasty. I've got some annoying errands to run, and I have to force myself to do them very soon. Already starting to panic a bit about October's rent, after just narrowly making September's rent.

I need some peace.

The Beatles - Lady Madonna HD

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Panini Pua Kea

icky sticky

Just got back in from outside - our morning trip to the park was scuttled by nasty weather. At 9 or 10, it was already in the 30s with the humidex. ugh.

Why. Won't. Summer. Just. Die?

I'm against it

fire and brimstone

Listening to the vague strains of a Jerry Fallwell-like telepreacher coming in through the window from the workers' radio outside. Sounds like the construction dudes found Jesus, or are trying to.

Can't wait until the balcony renovations are done!

survival

Well, it looks like right now I have covered the essentials of my budget, except for about $50, which might not be too hard to scratch up. So, another month is nearly conquered. Now, we just have to eat until we get more grocery money... Oh well, I have always excelled in poverty-based home economics.

I finished editing and sent in the new draft.

Also, it looks like I now have a release date of May 2011 for the book! I must admit it's pretty exciting to have a tentative date - it makes it that much more real, like they won't change their minds now.

We're making due. We just have to keep it up for a bit longer...

ugh. phone.

I have to answer the phone every time it rings this morning, which is a practice I always avoid, as I am expecting a package from my folks.

I am at the mercy of telemarketers, bill collectors, and other unpleasant sorts.

(Especially bill collectors.)

My nerves are shot to hell.

bad dream

Last night, I dreamt that I, for some reason, decided to go grocery shopping at an all-night shopping mall a long bus ride away, and took the tot with me, without the sling or the stroller. I just had my little gym bag, so I am not sure what I planned on getting. I seem to recall it was something "fun" - like a desperate attempt to bring some joy into our lives.

Anyway, on the way into the store, Sprout was acting up, so I decided to buy him a muffin at the Tim's, despite the long, long lineup, before I did my shopping. Everyone was super-crabby, and the server was terrible. She kept ignoring people at random and slamming things. An hour past, it seemed, and still no muffin. I tried to make small talk with someone in the lineup, only to get bitched out, so I was pretty downcast by this point. Meanwhile, the tot had sat down at a table with his little dump truck, and was chattering at a bunch of teenagers sitting close by.

I don't know why, but in the dream, I just stood there, and was not really paying attention to what the tot was doing. I just stood, waiting to get that stupid muffin.

Suddenly, I decided to give up and just go home, but when I turned, the tot was gone!

For some reason, I ran into the adjacent laundry mat, and, again - I don't know why, I flung open a washer that had just started to fill with water. There was Sprout, asleep, on a bundle of laundry, with extremely hot water soaking the first couple of inches of clothes under him. Otherwise, he was fine, but I dread to think about what would have happened had I not gotten to him.

My heart pounding, I went back into the Tim's and demanded to know who had done this thing. One of the teens at the table near where Sprout had been sitting just glared at me, coldly. I screamed at him to tell me what he'd done, saying, "Don't you know what would have happened?"

He just casually, coldly shrugged, asking me where the hell I had been.

I stumbled over my explanation that I was trying to get a muffin, and the teens all just laughed. I was coming right back for him, I defended myself. "Shoulda, woulda, coulda," the teen sniped... And I knew he was right, that I had let Sprout down, and failed in my responsibilities. If he had drowned it would have been my fault.

The cold glares of everyone in the place cut me.

And then I woke up - feeling miserable. It took me a long while to reassure myself that it hadn't actually happened. It was just a dream.

But it is a clue that, somewhere, deep down, I am worried I am not living up to my responsibilities. I am turning my back. I am not paying attention. I am not doing what I should. I'm simply not trying hard enough to make sure Sprout is safe and cared for.

I know I would never, ever behave in real life as I did in the dream, and ignore him in a public place where anything like that could happen to him... But, I may be falling asleep at the financial switch, and other responsibilities I need to keep on top of to make sure he's housed and fed, and safe.

I need to do better.

What a terrible dream.

mornin, folks

This could be one heck of a day.

missive from the front

Editing today.

Took me an hour and a half to improve 10 pages. The book is 151 pages.

Now I understand why I hate to re-read my own work.

When Things Get Tough...

... the tough turn to country hurtin' songs.

computer error

RAWR!

anger

I'm angry today. I want to shout and throw things. This came on the heels of my isolation phase. I guess the next stage is, what? Bargaining? I'm already depressed, so maybe I'll skip that stage. I hope acceptance is right around the corner.

Not that I believe that whole "5 stages" crap... But it's nice to think acceptance and dealing with stuff is neigh. I just don't want to feel bad any more.

bad feeling

This morning, I woke up feeling like the world is about to cave in on me. Panic in my chest. One week left to the month, and a few things I have to do to take care of some stuff, and rent due shortly. A few stressful things.

Perhaps my nerves are just plain shot.

Otherwise, just another day just like every other day.

New in Town (2009)

I've heard the risque chestnut that women try anal sex twice: Once to see what it is like; the second time to see if it really was as bad as she remembers. Well, I am not commenting on anal sex, but I can say that that saying pretty much perfectly describes my experience with the dreadful New in Town (2009).

And, yes, it was as bad as I remembered.

It seemed innocuous enough: A fish-out-of-water romantic comedy about a no-nonsense business exec (the ever-pouting Renee Zellweger) coming from Miami to downsize a small Minnesota (a place I tend to like on film) factory. Sparks fly between her and the local union boss. (Played Harry Connick Jr - why is he in so many romcoms? He looks like someone's ugly cousin.)

Will love ensue? You're right in assuming so. In fact, from the opening credits, you are likely right in every single last prediction you have about this movie. It really is that paint-by-numbers. It makes not one step in the region of originality.

But, hey! It's a genre pic, so I don't hold formula against it. Actually, it can be really relaxing and comfortable to settle in and watch a movie that doesn't surprize you. If it amuses, that is. Sadly, this one does the opposite - it aggravates, annoys and angers. (Attractive and alluring alliteration, that.)

First, the locals do have that external "we're so simple and friendly, dontcha know?" feel that so many of these films have, but this appearance is completely belied by the constant cold nastiness they show towards Zellweger's character. I mean, I understand that being a corporate suit in hard economic times comes with a "kick me" sign, but these people are horrid. Over and over again. And it makes little to no sense to have a factory full of people who are supposed to be worried about losing their jobs be completely insubordinate and unwilling to work. This movie, whether it intends it or not, is one long explanation of why American factories are being shut down in favour of workers less filled with a feeling of entitlement in other places. Places where people might actually want to work. (Even I got that message from this film, and I am pro-union!)

Second, there is no chemistry, whatsoever. Not just between the heavily botoxed Zellweger (seriously - NO expression, ever) and Harry Ratface Jr, but in general. Nothing has any charm. Nothing is likable. There is no magic, or even anything approximating magic. Just a bunch of actors who look miserable, pissed off and wishing to be elsewhere. Sort of like the audience.

Not even J.K. Simmons was enjoyable, and I usually adore him - especially as middle class working guy smart asses, which he normally plays perfectly. I think he is one of the greatest character actors of our times, in fact. In this, he does give a twinge of effort, and does manage to produce the only bearable moments in the film, but even his obvious screen charisma is not enough to make this film worth the retinal power.

Finally, the lighting. Oh holy hell, the lighting. Now, I know Renee is no spring chicken any more, and her skelator incarnation doesn't really compete with her winsome cuteness in Bridget Jones, in my opinion, but she is hardly ugly. In New in Town, though, she would have to work hard to come up to the beauty level of sea hag. Between her lifeless, stringy hair and her pitted, lackluster skin, she should sue the makeup, hair and lighting departments on this film. And toss in the costuming department for making her reminiscent of Cruella deVil, only in search of simple rural souls instead of puppies. She looked and acted like a dissatisfied marm. Even when they had the obligatory "casual letting the icy guard down for the male lead for some chit chat on the sofa" scene, she had all the appeal of a Socialist charwoman. What on earth did she do to the DP to make them treat her this way?

Of course, she has no one to blame but herself for the bad botox.

But Zellweger's attractiveness (or lack thereof) is not the only lighting sin. Really, the whole movie has this thick, unappealing pea soup look to it that really doesn't scream "romcom magic." (Though, I guess it does capture the spirit of industrial drudgery.) Just a bit of care in the film craft could have gone a long way to make this less offensive to the human spirit. Dismal is the only word for the whole bloody mess.

Now, I have seen reviewers blame all this on having a foreign director who perhaps didn't understand how American romantic comedy is expected to look. That might be the case, I don't know. But I do know if you have a formula film, you at least have to present it well. This film failed on all scores.

So, why did I watch it twice? The first time I saw it, I had purchased it extremely cheap, previously viewed (note I'm not saying "previously enjoyed"), as I thought it was a harmless enough thing to take up an evening. The second time, I watched it because I had trouble believing it really was as bad as I remembered it being. Indeed, it may have been worse.

I am writing this now to save you the trouble of even seeing it once. Don't bother. If you wish to see a film in the classic subgenre of city slicker coming to a small town to save a small factory full of quirky characters, rent the highly (highly!) superior, Kinky Boots - so superior, I cringe even to mention it in the same post as this piece of dung. Another that comes to mind is the likable Spotswood (aka The Efficiency Expert in American release). Or the memorable and bold 1996 flick Brassed Off! These are all fine films that show how small communities can pull together to control their destiny in the face of corporate anonymity, and, in the process, transform the individual. And all three have some enjoyable romantic elements.

New in Town seems to want to focus more on the romance than the industrial aspect, which would be fine if the romance actually worked. In the end, it failed at both.

Don't waste your time.

Broken Make This Bed

OK, my frigging bed broke.

Luckily, my dad taught me how to make rope beds as a kid, so I was able to jerry rig something up using the frame.

But this is officially the worst week on record.

*facekettle*

Today, my two year old hit me in the face with a tea kettle.

I hear you laugh. Go ahead.

Perhaps you are thinking, "How much force could a two year old actually put behind a tea kettle to the face?"

I'm here to say, a surprizing amount.

So, now my lip is puffy. We're not going to the park tonight, mainly because I couldn't see blithely taking him off to the happy-fun-wow park after something like that. Does that mean he's been grounded? Sort of, I guess.

This officially caps one heck of a crappy week. You guys don't even know the half of it. I feel like I should enjoy a good Charlie Brown-esque "Good grief!" so I will.

It's a quiet night in for us.

A Bit More Wallow Music

"Unloved"

set back

Turns out that I am getting about $375 less this month than I expected. This is a problem. I might be able to squeak rent, but no bills and very little food will come our way until next month, at least... but then, next month, I will have to worry about October's rent.

And so the cycle continues.

sigh.

Writing

So, yes. I have sold my novel, and am expecting it released sometime in 2011. I am currently doing a final edit before giving it whichever editor has been assigned to me, and a friend is working on the cover. And I have the teaser campaign launched now. I am hoping to do another teaser around Xmas, hopefully including a semi-firm release date. The full campaign will go a month or two before release, with a sustainer campaign going after release and beyond. I'm rather excited about it.

I now have some future projects, as well. Another contemporary romance for Fall 2010, a paranormal/contemporary for Winter 2011, a novella in Spring 2011, and another contemporary for Summer 2011. I think then I might try a historical - perhaps something involving WWI, which is a time that fascinates me. My paranormal plot may also lend itself to a series - I haven't decided, yet. I'll be able to tell more once it is written.

Each of these projects are being written for specific series and publishers, but I can't guarantee any will sell. All I know is that it's good to work on something again. And it makes me a bit of scratch, all the better.

New Teaser Ad

Teaser Trailer for Strings Attached

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ETA: Here's a slightly modified one, with the photographer's name given in full:

melting

Friday the 13th

Given my recent luck, Friday the 13th could go one of two ways: oddly great, or exceptionally bad - the kind of bad that become the stuff of legends.

Sarah McLachlan-Ordinary Miracle

A Little Note from the Tot:

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As you can see, he's really fond of the D key.

Whaddaya Got?

Got an email from the grad people today telling me that I have been cleared to graduate my program, so they are confused on why I have not applied to graduate, supplying me with a helpful link to do so online.

I calmly emailed them back saying that I still owed the university money, so I could not apply to graduate. I think they were a little taken aback at my apparent willingness to toss the whole degree (which is now finished) due to a relatively small balance on my account.

I informed them that if I could pay it in time to graduate in October, I would, but if not, maybe for next June's convocation, if I can. If not then, oh well. (I didn't add that last part, but I think it was implied.)

Now I am sure some of them are questioning the soundness of my wits, but, frankly, I could care less about some worthless piece of paper that will never net me a job. I certainly don't care enough about it to go without groceries, so tough titty, folks.

I know I completed the PhD. That's enough for me. Since I will just have to take it off my CV to get customer service work, I fail to see the value of the actual scroll.

So, whatever. If they care so much about convocating me, they can waive the fees.

I am so very fucked. All this summer, I have been trying to survive until summer was over, in the hopes that I would have work in the fall. Now, to find out the finish line has been whipped away and moved four months back... How the hell am I supposed to survive?

I've lived on a hope and a prayer for months now, not having had a permanent job since December 2009 (!), and now it turns out finishing the degree was for nothing. I'm no better off, except now I am set adrift and left for dead.

Drowning, here. I'm drowning.

Disappointing

So, I didn't get my last hope for the fall term, so no teaching work for me until January 2011... I am kind of unclear about what on earth I am going to do to keep afloat until then, as childcare, employment, etc, etc, etc, are all up in the air right now.

I have half a mind to knock that stupid, worthless PhD off my resume, find some regular, real job and tell the dept to find another stooge for their pitiful winter term charity job. It would be worth it to cut all ties to that place and to have at least a shot at stability for the next year or two.

PhDs in the humanities are not worth it, folks. That's the moral of this story.

Wow - Two Weeks Later

Sorry, dear old Blog. It's been a while. It would be great if I could say I have been up to fantabulous things, but, alas, life has been pretty dull, really. We did go to St Jacobs on the train, though, so that was fairly exciting - our one trip out of own for the summer. sigh.

Things are kind of blah - I'm broke, I still haven't been able to afford to apply to graduate, and I put in apps for the fall, but still do not have teaching work for the fall term. yippee.

BUT, I do have some exciting news... They accepted my novel for publication! I will have editing stages, etc., but if all goes well, it should be available for purchase come 2011! So, that's something.

Also, I don't know if I have posted this link before, but it's quite a neat site, so take a look - it's got to be more interesting than this blog, right?