Hiatus

My spirits feel like a soiled rag right now. I need a break from the world, so I am taking one. I will update when I feel like it again, but, for right now, I really don't have anything that anyone would like to hear.

Well, One More Dead Soldier

Conference is done. It wasn't great, but it's done. That is all that matters.

Remember, there is no line on the CV for how the conference went, only that it's over.

So, what's next? Comp questions due on Sunday, and Seder tomorrow (at a REAL synagogue - wow, that is a new one for me! Might I go from non-practicing to practicing 'til I get it right? We shall see...)

Bitter-Calm

Well, lost a fair share of hair in the shower this morning. This was likely a stress thing - maybe I shed in times of distress, like a cat.

In any case, I am up again, still trying to finish that conference paper (for THIS AFTERNOON), so this song seemed appropriate for a maniacal shedder:



Oh, and best wishes to pal Peggy in her quest to rid herself for good of arch nemesis, Brian Mas. We're rooting for you!

Fatigue + Stress + Isolation = Insanity

All-nighters should not be attempted alone, ever.

Tonight, I have swung in mood range from depression to mania, to all points in between. Extreme loneliness, to cautious optimism, through excitable fidgets, right down to hoping I get hit by a bus on the way to the conference tomorrow.

Is anyone out there? Anyone reading this? Am I all alone?

C-R-A-Z-Y

I am losing it. Neck pain. Sore. Tired. Slight panic. Waaaaaaay too much Mountain Dew Fuel. Smoke after smoke after smoke. Now pacing.

Well, I recommend you come out to the conference tomorrow (errr... EDIT: TODAY!) to see what all this results in, eh? Chances are, having rushed to campus in my PJs with my toothbrush still hanging out of my mouth, I will stand up, cluck like a chicken and then hang myself right there in front of the audience when I realize I really don't have anything to say.

Beauty.

Re-Run

So it is down to this again, folks. Just when you thought you would have no more "All-Nighter Fun with Holly!," things have gotten choppy again. It seems I have left yet another conference paper prep for the night before, and, I know I say this every time, but this is the LAST TIME I DO THIS.

Man. I wish I were dead with my back broke.

Holy Horse Apples, Bat Man!!!

I JUST GOT THE FINAL (FINAL FINAL FINAL) VERSION OF MY PIECE IN MY EMAIL! IT'S OVER - I AM NOW TO BE PUBLISHED IN A REAL, LIVE ACADEMIC BOOK!!!

I have a week to read it over and see if I have anything else I want to do to it, but, as far as the publishers are concerned, I am done. For now, the CV reads "forthcoming," but come May 2008, I will be in print and available at your local fine book sellers' for $30! (Well, I will be a chapter in there, anyway... so, really, I will only cost around $3.50... But I really don't think Barnes & Nobles lets people rip chapters out to buy separately.)

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



PS> The editor called me an "Expert in the Field," too. I will never, ever get used to that.

Why I Fight

Murph sends me a smile every once in a while, and I am glad for it. Sometimes, it is just nice to keep in focus the reason you do what you do. And what a handsome reason I have, too!

I'm Ashamed and I Should Be

Murph was supposed to come back from Ohio to Canada in mid-December. The day he left Cincinnati bound for our home, I cleaned like a dervish, making sure he had a comfortable little flat to return to. Pictures of us continuing to live our ideal little life together in our nest flitted through my mind while I hoovered, dusted, polished, folded, and hummed my way to merry-little-wifedom.

Well, the long and the short of that story is a Canadian immigration official had a very different view of things, and we weren't much in the position to disagree.

The results? Now Murph is still stuck in Ohio, and my place is a disaster.

I can't really tell you why things have gone this way, cleanliness-wise, I mean. I am not a tidy person, really, but neither am I complete slob. I can only blame this recent subhuman behaviour on time-issues, winter blahs, recent illness(es), and, mostly, a complete lack of give-a-damn.

There is a part of me that thinks "I'm not going to clean until I see the whites of Murph's eyes, damn it!" Why bother cleaning just for yourself? Likewise, it seems, why bother cooking or grocery shopping? Why not eat convenience store plunder out if its dreary, dented can? What's the point of effort?

Is it depression? Likely. But I think it is greater than that - I am not a single person, yet I live partially as if I am. And that ambiguity is starting to turn me feral. No one can flourish in a liminal state for long.

Well, no one, that is, except the bugs. Now, I cannot claim all the blame for that one - springtime in a basement apartment in Ontario just comes complete with bugs no matter what. Still, I admit that my lack of vacuuming certainly does not discourage their alarming proliferation this week. Ick.

However, these little beasties may come in handy. Any of you who have been reading here long knows how I feel about silverfish, so if anything is destined to get me out of my humanity-slump, it's those little bastards.

And, aside from that, there is further room for improvement in my situation, if not my emotional state. In April, Murph will be away for a couple of weeks. "Away" meaning not at his usual temporary abode and therefore not available for our evening phone calls. This should, between the Missing-Murph mopes, give me extra time to work on my comprehensive exam study. AND, if I know me, nothing encourages random cleaning like school work that needs to be done.

There's a new sheriff in town, known as Isolation, along with his deputy known as Work Load. These two are going to clean up around here, dagnabbit.

I'll be lonely, but at least I will be human again.

A Plug

Just in case anyone around wants to come see my song and dance, I will be at the IAC here at WLU this Friday at 1.45pm. And not only will you get to see ME, but the food is free, so that's a plus.

Uhhh...

Busy. Yes. Busy. Scared witless, too, if you want to know the truth.

Soon, I promise either to update seriously or go on hiatus. In the meantime, try this, instead.

Tuesday, Tuesday

Folks, I am seriously under the gun, here. Even worse than that, I am not handling it well at all - missed appointments, crying jags and general panic seems to be the trends of my life right now. I am at a conference in Friday, for which I am not yet prepared, and my Advisor moved the due date for my comp questions from the 4th to the 1st. Not horrible, excepting the fact that I really did need those extra days.

Last night found me curled on the sofa, crying about how much of a screw up I am and how "now they'll ALL know!" or something to that effect. You can thank poor Murph for talking me down off that bell tower. Who ever said a husband's job is an easy one?

Oh well, tonight is Tuesday, so that should soothe some of those frayed nerves. And here's something quite adorable and astounding all at once.

Peace!

Weblog One Thousand

Yes, indeed, this is my one-thousandth post!

SEND IN THE HORRIFYING CLOWNS!**

Sadly, I had planned to write more for this occasion, since it seems like a milestone, but something important that was due on the 4th is now due on the 1st, and I think my last brain cell is now just lying on the floor of my skull going "whoop whoop whoop" in fear.

However, have no fear kiddies! My second bloggoversary is coming up on the 17th of April, so I will make sure to give you all the juice you crave then.

Until then, here's a note of party-down-ness:



** Thanks to Amanda for the direct steal of this pic, but I figured she wouldn't mind a ghost of Octoblog coming for a visit on today of all days.

Why Should This Be?

No time to post, but I have a burning question on my mind. How can I get heartburn from drinking water? What could possibly be in it?

Or is it that the coffee that has soaked into my stomach lining is drawn out by the water, floats to the top, and has one last chance to get me?

So many mysteries.

It’s a rich tapestry, really.

Let's Hope Copyright Infringement Isn't a Mortal Sin

I can't sleep, so I thought I'd share my first bootlegged Imeem tune. True words to live by, and a catchy beat!

(To those who own the rights to this song: Just holler, and I will have it down quicker than Paris Hilton's panties... if she wore any, that is...)

As the Oat Rolls

I love cereal. Not only is a look through cereal's a history a look through human history (the Aztec cultivations, the early medical profession, the women's lib movement, Jim Crow, trash-TV, etc.), but cereal is also just basically good.

Cereal, aside from my tempestuous dealings with its close companion milk (YAY! for soy!), has been a good friend to me. Affordable, filling, cheerful, easy... cereal has it all. Except for an unexplained falling-out with cereals in my early 20s, for most of my life I have been accustomed to eating cereal for at least one meal a day (more when I was a kid and the money got tight; I remember long stretches of nothing but puffed wheat -- needless to say, I cannot even touch those any more).

I have eaten the cereal of the ancient Egyptians, consumed brands from Poland to the Midwest, and marveled at the fact that rommegrot (a delectable cloud of tasty) may actually (almost) make up for Norway's infliction of lutefisk on the planet.

Nowadays, I prefer something nutty or plain, though recently I have been slumming with a store-brand knock off of Honey Nut Cheerios. When I was a kid, I craved the artificial colour and taste of the pure-sugar varieties, and thought it a grave injustice that my mum forbid them, but now I am pretty grateful for her prudence. I love any grain that can be toasted and soaked, from wheat and spelt, to millet (those canaries are on to something) and rice, to oats and quinoa. I have enjoyed cereal at dawn, brunch, midnight and all points in between.

But it has not always been an unbridled cereal experience - there are rules to cereal, too.

Under my mum's regime, we ate rolled oats in the winter (Red River cereal when times were good, and cream of wheat for special occasions), and cold cereal in the summer, and never the twain shall meet. My mum taught us that eating hot cereal in the summer gave you hives. I don't know if that is true or not, but a pattern was formed, and now that spring is here, my hot cereal days are coming to a gradual close over the ambiguous winter-to-spring transitional period.

The other day, it was warm-ish, but drizzily (a grey area), so I took a chance and had myself a Bacchanalian cream of wheat gorge-fest, not knowing whether this would be my last chance or not.

Digging out some of those frozen berries I had squirreled away back when Murph was here (Old Tyme House-Wife Trick #37: Men like blueberry pancakes), I delicately decorated by creamy wheat ambrosia with fruit and cinnamon, and even added a dash of sour plum jelly, just like my mum used to do on my birthday. Add some salty buttered toast or tea cakes and some piping hot coffee, and you're in flavour country.

Heaven!

It reminded me that each season has its perks. Winter may be inconvenient, but somethings will certainly be worth missing.

A Note of Apology to all Feed-Reader Readers Out There

For those of you who have subscribed to my blog via some feed-reader (i.e. Google Reader, Sage, etc.), I am sorry if your readers make it look like I updated my blog a hundred times today, and if I clogged your program.

I was undertaking the task of tagging all those posts left uncategorized, so they may have come up as "New Posts." There was nothing I could do about that, so please accept my pleas for understanding.

And, yes, I am aware of the irony of making yet ANOTHER post to apologize for all the other posts, but my hope is that this post will be on top, thereby preventing all of you from hitting the "unsubscribe" button.

Thank you for your patience during renovations.

Time, or Lackthereof

Time is the killer that stalks us all... All I hear is the ticking of that hideous clock!

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!

Actually, it isn't all that Poe. I'm just kind of stressed, and a wee bit screwed. I keep getting myself into these things, don't I?

But, yeah... just so I'm not completely wasting this post, here's something at least, I guess:

What Mythological Creature Are You?

***You Are a Centaur***

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person.
However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways.
You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order.
You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

Also note that tinkering for the Big 1000 Post mark has already begun - be patient! The new colour-scheme may be just temporary -- Expect a steady tinker-process to follow! Feedback is appreciated, as always.

In Need of a New Look?

Have been watching a lot of Curb Your Enthusiasm these days (hey - it's research!) and it is beginning to effect my brain. In the past week, I have been more neurotic and obnoxious than I was before, if you can imagine such a horror.

But it has also had some more concrete damage. Today while waiting for the bus I realized, with my posture, gestures, schlumpy overcoat, button-shirt, etc., I dressed, acted and walked more like Richard Lewis than any woman ever wanted to. It almost made me run home and vomit in shame for my lost female magnetism (which I flatter myself that I did have... once... maybe).

On a side note, I am but a mere 5 posts or so away from the Big One-Oh-Oh-Oh (that's a thousand, in case I mistook my Ohs), and I am playing with ideas of how to revamp this old blog for the big day. Now that this thing has gone from passing fancy to full-blown hobby, I guess I should decide what direction I should take it in. Expect some meta-blogging, some anthologizing, some face-lifting and some Mission Statement creation here on W.T.H.I.A.B? sometime soon.

And if you have any suggestions for the big celebrations, you may leave in my suggestion box... errr... by which I mean the comments field.

Apology Not Accepted

When I was a kid, things were simple. You screwed up, you realized it, you apologized, Mum forgave, you got a cookie. I don't think was such an uncommon thing, really - perhaps some of you out there learned this, too: Apologies make things right again.

Fast forward to the real world, in which apologies very rarely help, are almost never enough (at least by themselves - possibly a whole symphony of mea culpas while whipping oneself with olive branches can be acceptable for minor offenses), and never truly put things back the way they were.

Because this economy of "I'm Sorry" bothers me, I do try to accept apologies, according to my Mum's example, but I have a suspicion that not everyone sees them in the same valuable light as I do. For me, it means something when someone says he or she is sorry, and actually means it. It means, "OK, do-over; you'd be a jerk to still be mad - we'll discuss it some more if we need to, but, in general, the harm is salved."

There is one exception to this, however. One I have had to get hardened to in the past few years.

That sterling exception is the long, drug-out, heart-felt pleas for leneancy my students will often write at the end of their tests or quizzes or exams, explaining why they didn't do as well as they really could have.

I am not talking about the simple "Out of Time" that is always good policy for students to jot down if they can't finish (this lets the prof know that something was wrong with his or her test design in the first place if a bunch of students all had the same problem). Rather, I am talking about those who use the big ten dollar talk show words to describe how well they really intended to do, except for the fact that:

1) "Conditions out of my control prevented me from achieving success on this quiz..."
2) "The classroom environment did not suit my learning needs today" (i.e. too cold, too hot, too something or other)
3) "Things occurred over the weekend that did not facilitate my wish to study for this quiz" (i.e. St Patrick's Day?)
4) "I had other assignments this week that were more important" (always a favourite with profs)
5) and so forth, and so on...

I have always encouraged students with legitimate issues to see someone at the school or the prof to negotiate how to best succeed in the class - there really is no major occupation that takes such things into account as a university. Usually, they are far superior to "Real World" jobs, which don't really give a flying screw that your aunt died - for them, if your dad dies, they might consider a day off. For an aunt, you get pretty much zilch.

Of course I am usually more than sympathetic to students who are having difficulties in their lives. I, like many university educators, are fully aware that student debt and tuition costs are making more and more students work at jobs for more than 20 hours a week (and I know this is a crying shame, since any more than 10 hours a week harms their educations). Most profs do take such things into account when assigning reading and work loads, and are becoming less inclined to waste students' time with "Make-Busy" assignments.

We are well aware that every student likely has a five-class course load, and we know everyone has lives (for all intents and purposes).

BUT! Part of being in university is playing through the pain. We (TAs/profs) all went through the undergrad years in the exact same way. We certainly know how to read these apologies for what they are worth, and often they read like a "it's not my fault" that doesn't really ring true. Unless something is seriously wrong (at which time the problems are very rarely jotted down at the end of a test, but are communicated in a manner fitting their seriousness), apologies really can't do anything as a prof or TA marks something.

When the mark is out of 25, there is no space for "studied the wrong passage, even though we were told which one to study in three of the nine classes I did not show for this term and all the other students seemed to know which passage to do - be lenient."

The sad reality is here, folks, that apologies are not always good enough. Sometimes it was your fault, and sometimes the right thing to do is just accept that and move on. Dignity is a lesson, too, and it should cost far more than 10% of one class's final grade.

Sometimes you have to take the flunk and learn from it.

Thursday Misc.

Well, someone at my department suggested I just send a casual email to the Dean of Arts about needing money for that conference in Grown Up Religious Studies Scholar Conference in Saskatchewan this May, and what do you know? Suddenly, the thing doesn't seem all that impossible any more! I will likely still have to scrounge around for a bit more funding, but the Dean tossed me a fairly good start at it. I must say, WLU came through for me this time - more than I had expected from it.

In other news, since it is now tax season, that also means Update-the-Will season for me, a yearly ritual that takes place somewhere between New Year's and Tax Deadline Day in Hollyland, every year since I was 12. So, if you have anything you want when I kick off, now is the time to ask. I'll be dead, so I won't want the stuff. Just send me a single email with an itemized list (as specific as possible, since my books, CDs and DVDs number in the hundreds), with an appropriate subject line, and I will see what I can do.

Errr... sorry, I should say that the above offer is meant for people who actually know me. No casual readers allowed, thanks... though, there may still be time (before I join the Celestial Choir for the Terminally Tone Deaf) to become a Close Personal Friend of Holly, so get your charm on now, folks.

And, finally, I am amazed at how little I actually notice about certain products floating around my apartment. Was tidying the bathroom today, and noticed something odd. Is it really appropriate to call a toilet paper brand "Fiesta"? Maybe produced by the good people at Taco Bell, where they get you coming and going?

In general, all seems ok right now - though, if there is some radio silence over the next while, you can thank external funding apps, increased comp preparation, a local conference on the 30th, and my list of suggested comp questions which need to be submitted by the 4th.

Holly is a busy duck at the moment, despite all appearances, and she means to survive.

(And no particular reason there is a picture of Woody on here, except the fact that I haven't mentioned him in a while, and, well, I lurve him. Don't approve? Tough - it's my blog, and I'll do what I wanna.)

(For much Woody awesomeness, try these on.)

No Eye for Hair

A particular friend-of-a-friend has been so uncool as to join facebook but not post a photo of his face! I have never met this friend-of-a-friend, but I hear about him so much that I find myself trying to construct his appearance through snippets of information. I can do ok, I think, in a generic, police-sketch, could-be-anybody-sorta kind of way.

But I find now, likely due to the fact that men are almost constantly in hats (ball caps are awful, men, please stop) or hoodies these days, I can't for the life of me picture realistic male haircuts in my mind. This is not a serious problem, usually, except for the fact that I have this poor, generic picture of this friend, either bald (which would relieve a lot of my problem if it were accurate - maybe I should encourage him to shave?) or with completely fake looking hair.

I have even pin-pointed the general trends, plotting where film and TV have supplied data not offered by my eyes, based on other descriptors I have been given about the guy. Some examples:

1. "Blond" - He has the Luke Skywalker in my head.


2. "Dark haired" - He is suddenly sporting the Erik Estrada.


3. "Republican" - Nothing short of the Johnny Unitas will do.


4. "Democrat" - He gets his hair done at the same place as George Harrison.


5. "Trendy boy" - He is inevitably some variation on Meg Ryan.


6. "Square" - He is Stephen Harper.



This is not right. Will I have to go to cosmetology school just to solve this issue, or shall I just grow accustomed to, and accept, these Starsky and Hutch wigs of my imagination born from the crassest of profiling?

Or maybe I just need more sleep...

New Beginnings!

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SPRING!

(And here's to the UN's International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination.)

How I Deal With Stress (Repeat as Needed):

YOU CAN'T ROLLER SKATE IN A BUFFALO HERD

You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

You can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
You can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
You can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

All you gotta do, is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it

Well you can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
You can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
You can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

You can't change film with a kid on your back
You can't change film with a kid on your back
You can't change film with a kid on your back
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

You can't drive around with a tiger in your car
You can't drive around with a tiger in your car
You can't drive around with a tiger in your car
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

All you gotta do, is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it

Well you can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

You can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
You can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
You can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd...

- Roger Miller

I've Got Nerves that Jingle-Jangle

Argh! Everything is happening at once. Between funding apps, and conferences coming up, and exam, and EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE BLOODY WORLD, I am losing my mind.

Then the comp just crashed on me, and I think it just shredded the last stable nerve.

OK. Breathe. Time to consider it all tomorrow. Tonight is Tuesday - that is where my mind will rest for right now.

For now, just to let the world know, Holly is officially GONE FISHIN'.

Unhappy Body

There come times when you can't forget you live in a body. To put it bluntly, it is like some hideous meat house that you got as a fixer-upper and you can't get rid of. Sometimes it's the plumbing, other times it's the electrical, but there's always work to be done on it.

Today, since winter has decided to hit us with its revenge, I fell on some ice and have been creaking around the joint ever since. I tried to take a hot bath to relieve the sting, but it even hurt to sit in the tub. I won't go into too much detail, but I don't think purple is a very nice colour on my ass. I think it should avoid that shade from now on.

On top of it all, I think I am getting another cold, if you can believe it!

So now is the time one asks oneself the big questions. Do I sack out in bed tonight and watch Coming to America (1988) or Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)?

Hmmmm... illness comes with some hard decisions.

On the bright side, though, it is Tuesday now - who can feel upset on a Tuesday?

Must See...

Using my browzer's new "Blog This!" feature, I want to share this guy with you - have never seen his stuff, but it seems that no self-respecting Tim Burton fan can do without him:

Wired News: The Best Auteur You Never Saw

"Notes"

Edits are fait accompli, thank heavens. Well, that is to say, I believe they are done. I don't know if any of you have seen manuscripts after a publisher's copy editor has gotten done with it, but it is a gaddawful mess. Colour coded lines, scored-through lines, rewrites in superscript, notes and queries on a separate page, corrections and corrections on the corrections, a key to understand the codes, and on and on and on.

So I am not exactly sure if I got all the edits or not, or even if I got the gist of anything I was re-reading, but I did get a super headache and a sore pair of eyes from crossing them in frustration.

So, with luck, that is done now, and I say good riddance... Now, on to the next publication, eh?


Oh, and I found out that my piece is chapter 11 in the book - is that a bad omen for my financial health over the next while, do you think?

I've Seen Too Many Movies

I just grabbed a quick shower, and, while I was humming myself a happy little ditty and lathering (and rinsing and repeating), I thought I saw a person's shadow move on the outside of the shower curtain. Now, since I live alone at present, you can imagine the "High Alert" this put me on.

My heart not just "leaped to my mouth" as the horror writers say - it actually jumped from my body altogether, skittered across the floor with a wet sound, and then tried to use its disconnected valves and pipes to make it to the phone to dial 911.

Well, it turns out that the shadowy figure must have been some sort of illusion created by the shower curtain, because there was no one there when I got the gumption to look. But the point is this: When I was frightened, I did not think "burglar" or even "rapist", which should have been my primary worries. Instead, I really do think I had "slasher dressed as his mother" in my head, and I think I even heard the music.

Movies can control the mind - even in moments where one is not even thinking of them consciously. And I don't think it's just me - why else is there so little need to even give the title of the film I am referencing?

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow?

Having my breakfast, I was scanning the new headlines. A new cat species as been found in Borneo. Isn't this amazing? Just when we think the world has been denuded of its mystery, we are reminded that not only do we not own nature, we don't even know all its secrets.

However, now we find that, due to massive deforestation in Borneo, before we even recognized this lovely creature it was already endangered.

Will we even get a chance to know this fellow better?

For video of the new big cat, go to Reuters, here.

Sunday Post and Opinion

No time for a real post this morning, as edits are due back to the publisher by tomorrow. However, I was just thinking that Reign Over Me (2007) opens on the 23rd, and I am looking forward to it (let's hope I don't get disappointed).

Anyone up for a movie in a week or so?

St Pat's is Here Again

Well, being that I am now a Murphy, I guess I should whoop it up tonight... but since I have always been a Pearse (a lesser-celebrated Irish name), I am not likely to change my old opinion of this blighted day.

However, I hope you all have the best St Pat's you can. As for me, you will fine me home with my head phones on, trying to avoid this day at all costs.

A Grenade Wrapped in Razer Blades

Ugh. Can you believe St Patrick's Day falls on a SATURDAY this year? As if people ever needed more reason to get obnoxiously drunk on that putrid-green waste of a holiday.

OK - plans for the weekend: Hide. Hide, and don't go out. Stay inside where (hopefully) the drunk drivers can't get me. I will horde my supplies now, grab some ear plugs, and try to sleep until Sunday, when a glorious hang over will settle about the place, and we can assess the damage in peace.

Ugh.

Something Perky

This song always cheers me up:

This, I Didn't Need

I had to go into campus today - I had no choice.

There, I ran into a colleague who I like a lot, but who today got me talking on subjects that push all my fear buttons: career, comps, funding problems. My gut started to eat itself, and all I could think of was getting away and hiding. Is it any wonder I am isolating myself more and more these days?

Campus means people; people means talk; talk means panic. Best to hide, lest my anxiety overwhelm me for good.

In my panic, I even threw away my Tim's cup before I could even check to see if I won anything. What if it had been the $1000? I can only shudder to think of that.

So, I have been trying to give myself a pep talk to keep from dropping out of school right now. It is working slightly. My mindset is improving as I get re-adjusted to my den of solitude. Here no one makes me feel small or broke or doomed. Here, I can just insulate myself against any financial or academic horrors that lie in wait over the next couple of months.

But what a waste of a perfectly lovely spring day.

Bummer.

3 o'clock UPDATE: Some pasta and tea has calmed my nerves, as well as a boat load of research into external funding options, and some tasks I have been meaning to clear up. Nothing solves anxiety over school like just getting down to work. I can do this. I know I can.

Flickers in the Dark

Everything is awfully quiet here in my solitude. Even my cardinal has gone to sleep and left me alone. But I had some company, nonetheless.

Thank the heavens for movies!

Spring!

So many birds twittering!! I have a family of them outside my window, and I have a sneaking suspicion I am soon to become a birdy auntie. My shamrock plant is raising its winter-pale faces to the window and getting more and more green by the hour. I hear drizzle and run off, as the ground is refreshed after its frozen sleep, and the breezes are cool and fresh. As to myself, my heart skips with a new, happy, beat these days.

SPRING IS DAWNING!!!

It is wonderful. Life is so full of possibilities in the spring.

I wish you all rejuvenation and love this season.

The Weather is Perfect

I wish Murph were here. I would cajole him into a long walk, since it is lovely out. Has the weather ever tempted you to walk for hours? Or even all night? I love those nights. This would be one of them - I can see Murph and I walking for hours, with brief sojourns into each 24 hour Tim's as we come across them. It would be lovely - just as spring is meant to be enjoyed.

Instead, Murph is tucked into bed in Ohio, and I am up with time to kill. It is too late for me to work, so I have elected to give into sheer laziness. By way of strange double features, I am going for Run Ronnie Run! (2002) and What's Eating Gilbert Grape? (1993) - two big slices of Americana, I guess, and both highly enjoyable for vastly different reasons.

This weather is good for the soul... the sounds and the breezes from my window tells me that all is well, and it is safe to relax.

Now, here's a smile for you.

PS> Almost lost this post when the server died... let that be a lesson to you - ALWAYS CTRL-C BEFORE HITTING PUBLISH! I know this post isn't much, but my movies are calling, and I'd hate to spoil my spring cheer. Whew!

Date Night Playlist

"Tammy" - Connie Francis
"Ice Cream" - Sarah McLachlin
"Dedicated to you" - Ella Fitzgerald
"Walkin' My Baby Back Home" - Nat Cole
"Eternal Flame" - The Bangles
"I've Got my Love to Keep me Warm" - The Mills Bros
"Them There Eyes" - Billie Holiday
"To Make you Feel My Love" - Garth Brooks
"Be My Life's Companion" - Mills Bros
"Cheek to Cheek" - Louis Armstrong/ Ella Fitzgerald
"Can't Get Enough of Your Love" - Barry White
"How do you Speak to an Angel?" - Etta James
"Lean on Me" - Bill Withers
"Glow Worm" - Mills Bros
"We'll be Together Again" - Billie Holiday
"True Love" - Connie Francis
"I Second That Emotion" - Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
"(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons" - Nat Cole
"More Love" - Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
"Lover, Come Back to Me" - Ella Fitzgerald
"You're My Thrill" - Billie Holiday
"You're the First, the Last, My Everything" - Barry White
"You are My Sunshine" - Norman Blake

And a bonus track or two.

It is Tuesday

Holly will be unavailable for harassment for the next little bit.

It is TUESDAY!

My Dad's Celebrity Look-alikes

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.



So my dad looks like Charlie Chaplin AND Trent Reznor...? And Rudolph Valentino?? Maybe I can see what my mum sees in him, after all...

Celebrities Who Are Lucky Enough to Look Like Me

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.



***

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.



***

OK, so some of these are pretty cool, but Billy Boyd? Who should I feel sorrier for in this comparison? And is it weird that I find my match with Hannah Arendt (who I got on three different photos!) cooler than the one with Raquel Welsh?

I did others, but I figured the one that pulled a 62% match with Russell Crowe did not do anyone any good. *shudder*

(Warning: This site, though possibly fun, can also be devastating to the ego. I got Eleanor Roosevelt and Jon Stewart with one photo, and the one with Stephen Colbert and Fred Savage was a shock to the heart, as well -- bad, bad, BAD on the soul, those ones.)

I also ran Murph's pic, and it is official - Johnny Depp was a 60-something percent match. I can only grin in pride. Of course, Eddie Murphy also came up for Murph. Maybe I am not too far off when I tell people he is now my new uncle-in-law...

Addendum: I also got Johnny Depp with one later photo I tried... Somehow being a Johnny Depp lookalike is not nearly as hot as being married to one...

(Almost) 3 o'clock in the Morning

Found a nifty site, thanks to Hemlock, with some need embeds for blogs and such. Come on - show us in tunes how you feel!

$$$

Money worries - what's new?

I have been accepted to the Big CSSR conference in Saskatchewan this summer, and I know I should go, since it is a pretty big honour to be accepted. But how to pay for such a trip, when I am not sure how I'll even pay rent over the summer...? That is a pickle, indeed.

So don't be surprized if I start some sort of PayPal campaign to fund my trip (and possibly Murph's immigration case and my rent for the summer, too, as I am becoming increasingly baffled as to how people survive financially through the PhD), because pity seems to be my last hope.

That and selling my kidney. Anyone need a kidney? Top of the line, new in 1978, one careful owner. Motivated seller.

Sigh.

WTF? pt II

Saw a lady today who had made herself a knapsack out a garbage bag and an electrical cord. Innovation or insanity? I didn't stop to ask...

WTF?

SO MAJORLY PISSED RIGHT NOW. I ... CAN'T ... EVEN ... TYPE.

I was on the phone with Murph this morning, as he FINALLY was able to get on the computer after his loser, free-loading uncle had a 16 hour spree of playing with himself (in more ways than one). We were minding our own business - Murph was cleaning up the wads of napkins and empty cans and butts (and other, grosser, things, I am sure) left behind in the wake of his nasty relation's self-indulgent video game spree, and I was dozing a bit, to tell the truth.

Suddenly, out of no where, said loser uncle (who I can only imagine was still wearing his dreadful long johns of doom, since that is all he ever wore when I was there visiting) leaped from his now seemingly permanent den on the living room couch and tried to pick a fight with Murph! All I could hear was a long string of insults and curses, which seemingly all began with an out-of-nowhere smack in Murph's head.

The guy said that before he left the state of Ohio, he was going to kick Murph's ass. My response: No such luck, I guess, SINCE YOU CAN'T EVEN SEEM TO LEAVE YOUR SISTER'S COUCH, LET ALONE OHIO.

Hell, you can't even leave your goddam long johns!

So, in short, since I am mad enough to spit nails right now: Get bent, die or leave. Those are your options. And if I have to, your ass is only a Greyhound away from my boot, you colossal hole in the dink of a diseased politician. He is no longer your nephew, you racist pervert. He happens to be my husband.

If I were in a joking mood, I would say, "and if anyone is going to smack him around, it'll be me," which is the natural punchline there, but I am about to lay a cast iron stove of fury, so no jokes will erase this.

Curl up and die, tranny-lover.

Signed, me.

The Tenth

Today, at 4pm, marked two months of marriage for Murph and I. I think we have decided to keep the tenth of every month, whenever we can, as Our Day - a State of the Union day, as it were. I love the feeling of building rituals.

Marriage is a good thing, isn't it?

I-I-Is it, um, Working??

Guess who now has a webcam??? Is nothing safe from my new comp-communication obsession? Am I safe from no indignity? I guess we shall see what we shall see.

***
UPDATE: Here is actual footage of me - 46 seconds of pure delight! I call it HOLLY: THE MOVIE...

Why Rant?

I was going to spend a moment getting a rant out I had a bit ago about that Great Satan of Hollywood whoring Tim Allen, but now I think it is better to just leave it at this: Why bother ranting about crap? Just scrape it off and go about your business.

Why waste your time ranting, when you can dream?

Seek Solace in Your Work

After a series of personal set-backs, I have turned to the final edits on my Jack Benny piece, these ones from a rather strict and foreboding copy editor. I wonder what kind of personality it takes to be a copy editor? Certainly one more critical (and possibly more evil) than my own.

Oh well. They won't get done until I do them...

Thursday Breaks, Miraculously Clear

I was scheduled to go into campus today for a test my students were supposed to write, but it has been postponed for a week, so suddenly I am FREE! Glorious unexpected freedom!

Life is slowed to a crawl these days. I feel like I have reached a plateau in the giddy climb to popularity with my new Facebook account, as I think right about now is the point where all the people I could possibly find on there have been found, and it seems likely my account will grow no more. So from the "Wow! I am like totally hot, socially" heights of earlier in the week, I must now accept that "Social Slump" has become my permanent state. Bummer.

(Though, welcome to Amanda G. back into my life after all those years since high school - glad to know the adult you!)

I watched the new Russell Crowe film, A Good Year (2006), yesterday. It was okay, but, aside from some lush scenery, a bit paint-by-numbers and dull. Man chases dollars. Man loses beloved, free-spirit uncle and falls heir to a Provence vineyard that is full of "quirky" locals and French-hottie-cafe-owner-adjacent. Man finds self. And girl. The End... or "Fin" as this thing pretentiously ends with. Big deal. Still, Russ is always enjoyable on some level, even if the fella is getting a little porky around the edges there. Word of advice, Russ: Less fried chicken, more Oscar-worthy stuff, okay?

So that was my day. Yours?

In the Land of Women

It is interesting to me how companies have caught onto this blogging thing as a way to spread the word about their product or cause. Every once in a while, I get contacted by groups to help them in their new form of PR, and occasionally, I accept. Recently, because of another review I did on this blog, Warner Brother's contacted me about their upcoming film In the Land of Women (2007), which premieres this April. I have not seen this film, but I do notice a couple interesting things about it.

First, it is nice to see Adam Brody in more pictures. His turn in Thank You for Smoking (2005), though more of a brief cameo than a full-fledged role, was a high light of that gem of a movie, and I am looking forward to seeing him in more things. Do I think he really is "One of the Sexiest Men in Hollywood" as he is now being touted? No, not really - I prefer someone with a bit more miles on him, maybe. But he does have the fixin's of a bright new spot in an otherwise fairly bleak generation of young actors.

In this film, which seems to fall somewhere in the "romance/drama" category, we get the standard concept of a young man returning to his family and finding himself after something traumatic happens to him. I know, we all fear another rehash of the events surrounding the hideous Elizabethtown (2005), but I don't think this will be of that category. While assisting his elderly grandmother, Brody gets involved with the lives of a family of women, affecting each one, and then, of course, himself. If you have ever seen the odd but strangely compelling Picnic (1955), then you might get a sense of the potential in this plot.

This film is the directorial debut of Jon Kasdan, a former teeny-bopper bit player and a contributor to the beloved TV victim Freaks and Geeks (1999), so I am looking forward to seeing how so many for-young-audience performers and producers can make this vital leap to something a bit more mature, while anchored by some fairly interesting standbys like Meg Ryan and the always watchable Olympia Dukakis.

I haven't seen this picture yet, but I am happy it was brought to my attention, and I can promise you I will follow it up with a keen eye.

You can visit the Official MySpace site here, including an intro by Adam Brody to the film, and go to Rotten Tomatoes a look at the trailer and latest info.

Enough Already

Winter, I am so over you, especially the frigid weather of these recent days.

Arctic-death-of-comfort-and-productivity you may leave at any time now.

Tuesday

Tonight is bowling night again. I don't bowl - the last time I bowled, I was a kid and still did the between the legs push thing.

But, the important thing is that Murph's family bowls, on Tuesday nights, so he has the house to himself. We make the best of what we have, so Tuesday night is Date Night. We will share a meal over the phone, and chat comfortably without an audience.

How does one prepare for a date over the phone? Well, there is no hair primping required, that is one thing. Only, jitters, waiting for the clock to turn...

I love Tuesday nights.

Motivational Moment

All you need to know: Study or fail.

Keys, Pop, Eggs

Things are looking up around here. I found my missing keys, I am drinking a soda, and I managed to make it down to the store for eggs (both the chicken and chocolate varieties). I am starting to get over whatever plague I had, though I am not completely healed yet, so it is time to start living like a human again, including eating more than peanut butter straight from the jar.

Comp reading starts again, and, by way of making actual content on this blog (rather than moans, pouts and blahs), I have decided to start making more notes about my reading, as well as short reviews of any movies I happen to see. I figure you are all getting sick of posts like this one - the blood curdling news that I found my keys might be too much for you.

Oh well, onward and upward!

Stolen from Catherine...

I swiped this from Catherine, as I have not much new material to report tonight. I am just now filling it out as we speak, but I think I can almost ALWAYS guarantee that any survey I take will ALWAYS result in the coveted "No Life" verdict.

There are 190 movies here. SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 80 of these movies, you have no life, so mark the ones you've seen and let me know what you score!

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

Total: 8/10

(x) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchor Man: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates

Total: 3/10

(x) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 4/10

(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
(x) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch.
( ) Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch

Total: 7/11

( ) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1978)
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2004)
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
(x) I, Robot

Total: 6/10

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt

Total: 6/11

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination2
( ) Final destination3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring (Ringu)
( ) The Ring 2 (Ringu2)

Total: 3/12

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 6/9

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter

Total: 7/11

( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II

Total: 3/10

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
(x) Frailty

Total: 5/10

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China

Total: 7/10

(x) X-Men
( ) X2
( ) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Others
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick

Total: 1/14

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( ) Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman

Total: 4/10

( ) Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi
(x) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks

Total: 8/11

(x) Air Force One
( ) For Richer or Poorer
(x) Trainspotting
(x) People Under the Stairs
(x) Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap
(x) Parent Trap Re-make
(x) The Birds
(x) The Terminator
( ) Terminator-2
( ) T-3

Total: 9/12

(x) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
(x) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Sleepy Hollow
( ) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out

Total: 5/9

( ) Thirteen
( ) Manic
(x) American History X
( ) Deep Blue Sea
(x) George of the Jungle
(x) Canadian Bacon
( ) Big Black Titties
( ) How High
( ) The Jacket
(x) My Little Pony 1986

Total: 4/10

So, yes. A whopping 96. I don't know where Catherine gets her information or her special, eerie powers, but her little system here has adequately predicted the fact that I do, indeed, have no life.

That's all you really need to know about me, I guess. I'm a loser, and I like movies. Cool, huh?

"Some Lies Never Die"

Watched Protocols of Zion (2005) this afternoon. Not exactly hard hitting, but some food for thought, and an interesting, accessible exploration of modern Antisemitism suitable for a general audience.

The question posed by the film is rather left unanswered: Why, after all this time, do people still feel this way? Perhaps it is an existential urge in humanity to hate some symbol of everything wrong in their lives, and maybe the word "Jew" has just come to mean that. Or, perhaps there is no one single reason. Whatever the cause or meaning, poking at it like a sore tooth is somewhat unavoidable, and that's what this documentary felt like at times.

Agree with it or not, or both at times, this film is still worth a view.

Waiting

Tomorrow is Monday, the deadline I set for myself to get back to serious comp work after this cold and my recent travels. I am feeling better, but still not 100%, but still good enough to read and retain, I think, so that should be on track. I have some emergency marking to run into campus to do first thing Monday morning, but that should not be too much of a hindrance.

But now I am stuck with this afternoon. I could clean (lord knows, I could clean), but I want to reserve my strength... I could watch a movie, but I am not sure what interests me. Mostly, I am waiting to hear from Murph, or until I am sure he is awake and only not online because Jerkoff the Never-Leaving-House-Guest has cabbaged the comp for a 16-hour Texas Hold'em marathon and it is safe for me to call. Who am I kidding? Talking to Murph is all I ever want to do.

Living alone sucks. It sucks even harder if you are married, and every fiber of your being tells you it is wrong and unnatural to live alone.

Boo!

What the Cool Kids Are Up To

Well, I finally broke down and got a Facebook account, mostly because my friend Peggy sent me an invite, and I couldn't see what she had invited me to look at/join until I had already joined. In any case, it is a nifty enough thing, and may be a way that even *I*, slacker that I am, can keep in touch with old friends.

So, if you are so inclined...



Though, be forewarned, this totally seems like one of those things I join and then forget the address of in like three days and never go back to, so don't expect too much from it, ok? I mean, I have maintained this blog since April 2005, and that is about as much of an Internet Miracle as I ever expect to have.

Still, does this thing now mean I am a Hip Cat? Finally?

Memories

Been sorting through my old shoeboxes of pictures, scanning the collection in order to clean them up and preserve them. So many years' worth of memories.

Old photos are great.

P.S. I Love You

Wow. I finally saw P.S. (2004) tonight, for the first time, something I had been meaning to do since Catherine reviewed it last summer. I found it in a discount bin the other day, and picked it up - I trust Catherine that much. Oh, and the fact that the ever-sweet Topher Grace is one of those people I would love to fold up and stick in my pocket doesn't hurt, either. (This also co-stars Gabriel Byrne, who really shines here, and the always compelling Laura Linney.)

Loved it, loved it, loved it. I can't say that enough. It was a wonderful picture that lingers with me.

Catherine was right to specify that this is not a reincarnation movie. A reincarnation movie, for example, would be the banal (yet strangely likable) Chances Are (1989), in which an older woman finds and pursues the reincarnation of her Great Love, who happens to be her daughter's boyfriend (an adorable Robert Downey Jr.).

Rather, P.S. is about a movie about people who think (or pretend) that they are perfectly stable, but, who, in reality, carry far too much with them - things that can make or break them, depending on how they choose to deal with that baggage. But it is also about generations, and the ways in which new life has to break through the crust left by predecessors - not reincarnation, but an actual honest struggle for individuality and space in a world shaped by one's elders.

Unlike dolls, humans don't come in boxes, but it sure doesn't take the world long to try trap us into them once we get here.

I really can't recommend this enough - romantic, touching and even sexy, this is a movie made out of small moments and subtle touches. Wonderful detail is what makes this movie live, weaving all the un-highlighted behaviours, which make more and more sense as the plot develops, giving one the sense that they are not be told a story, but are really getting to know breathing people.

Well, well, well worth the rental, I promise.


(Oh, and a PS of my own: I also finally got around to filling in my Photobucket albums, so feel free to take a leaf through.)

You Didn't Hear This From Me

Funny and true.

Ten Things I Love About Me

A dear V.I.F. (Very Important Friend) of mine has posted a meme on her MySpace blog because she was tagged. Luckily, she did not tag me, but I liked the idea and needed material, so I swiped it.

The original question was "ten facts about me." I have modified it. Since it is the butt-end of winter and we are all more likely than not a bit droopy these days, I decided to confine the facts to things I am pleased over in myself. That is, this is an ego-stroking list of positives about Holly.

I will not tag anyone, as tagging seems a bit heavy-handed and smacks of chain letter harassment, but I do encourage anyone who is so inclined to make out their own positives lists. Everyone needs a pat on the back once in a while, and a pat on the back from yourself is a pretty rare treat for most of us. Ten of them makes one giddy.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1) I am impressed by my own hair to a stupid degree. I think I read that part in Little Women too often as a kid where Jo cuts her hair and it is agreed that her former locks had been her "one true beauty." The end result is that I put a lot of stock in that hair to take over the function of my attractiveness. Most importantly, I like it - it is super long, and I have to do absolutely nothing to it except wash it and brush it to have a pretty nice 'do. That is a combination of convenience and effect that I like to see.

2) I am the first person in my immediate family to graduate from high school, let alone get a Master's Degree, and work towards a PhD. I am proud of that - I feel like I am the generational proof of evolution. My folks, who are not educated themselves but who valued it, encouraged where encouragement was needed, and I have reached a level completely unpredicted by my origins. I am generally self-made, and I gain confidence from thinking about that.

3) There are only two, maybe three, people in my extended social circle whose knowledge of film history/movie trivia/Hollywood dialogue rivals my own. And I am not sure there is anyone amongst my acquaintance who can challenge my knowledge of Hollywood's Golden Era. I consider myself a film maven, which is a cool side-line, no?

4) I look really kick-ass in boots. I mean, anyone can wear boots, but my boots are my glass slippers. Honest, I turn myself on by how I look in my boots.

5) Old people adore me, and so do animals. I think I have some sort of old timey quality about me that radiates "Nice Young lady" vibes to everyone over 60 on the planet, and I have always enjoyed hanging out with seniors, even when I was a teen. Also, I tend to be the kid at the party who is being randomly snuggled by the dog or the cat whose owner just got finished saying, "don't feel bad, he/she just doesn't like strangers." I am sorta like Beast Master, only for the cute and the furry residents of suburbia.

6) I have a natural knack for cooking, especially seasoning. I hardly ever use recorded recipes, and even the cheapest, easiest, one-pot dish of mine usually manages to please. This skill has been an enormous help as a broke student and as a girl friend, I can assure you.

7) I think I am a dab hand at teaching. My students always seem to respond well to me, and I often win rave reviews at TA evaluation time. And I manage to do this without being a Grade Santa or by stooping. I benefit from some sort of natural respectability and charisma in the classroom, and, even better, I *love* to teach. It really feels like I have found my calling.

8) I like my ethical stand point, especially when it comes to my responsibility as a global citizen. I do not drive, I recycle, I don't eat meat, and I try not to consume more than my share. I do not litter, and, even though I smoke, I am careful with second hand smoke, and I do not butt on the ground. I help wildlife when I need to, and I support causes I believe in. I am conscientious of water, energy and resource conservation, and I have reduced my trash levels to as reasonable amount as possible, even to the point of using cloth hankies instead of tissues while at home. I also like to think I am respectful of other people, and I try to be an aware and informed voter and citizen. Even better, I manage all this without losing my sense of humour!

9) I have really good friends who reflect well on me. I could introduce any one of my good friends to any one on earth, and their qualities would be recognizable. My mum always taught me that you can be judged by the company you keep, and I am honoured to be kept by those with whom I have built life-long relationships with. They all tend to be talented, funny, energetic, bright and/or warm individuals, who are completely unique in their own right. I can honestly say that I do not collect friends for the sake of a big Christmas card list, but the ones I keep, I absolutely adore.

10) I think I have the potential to be a good wife. I am proud of the care with which I have adapted to this role, and I enjoy marriage. Of course, I also managed to pick the perfect husband for my tastes and needs, but I also think I take every opportunity to improve my imperfect skills as a life partner. You will have to ask him for the final analysis of this, but this role is more important than any other in my life, and it gives me peace and a feeling of self-worth when I find myself treating it as valuable as it is. I hope I can continue to cultivate the gift of our relationship into being all it can be - it really is a freaking story book thing, I think. Despite recent hardships involving immigration red tape and temporary distance, I find myself content, and excited about our future.

So there - ten things I am pleased with about myself. Bragging can be good for the soul, you know. After mountains of New Years Resolutions and self castigation spewed out on this blog, I think it is a good thing to provide a bit of balance.

So, what do you love about you?

This Old Blog

Being sick and in need of some nice indoor and non-strenuous activity, I finally broke down and pimped out my blog with the new Blogger layout customizations. I hope it looks ok, and if you have any comments, criticisms, etc., let me know, especially if you find links not functioning.

Also, on a personal note, Fritz the Cat is once more napping on my sofa, and it's a pretty darned cute sight. Cat-sitting is glorious - you get to play with a cat for a while and then send it home again! What a concept.