Has It really Come Down to This?

Has North America really reached such a bloated point that not only do we never want to actually touch our TV with our own hands again, but not even bend over to the coffee table? Do we really need to have our remotes strapped to our heads? I can only mourn for us.

Agony

Tonsils so swollen, it feels like my throat is practically closed off. My neck is hot and puffy and red. Swallowing is some of the worse pain I have ever felt - even just swallowing nothing hurts like hell, but actually trying to swallow something is like how I would picture the reverse of giving birth. The pain of squeezing even a mouthful of water through an opening too swollen to accept it is not a nice pain.

All I can do is sit here and pant like a fish out of water, trying to get the air I need without aggravating the Cough. The Cough brings the fires of hell down on my head. My throat burns and bleeds with the Cough. Anything but that, dear lord.

This virus is a perfect predator. I would almost admire it if I didn't hate it with every fibre in my being. I think it is winning, before my eyes. Where has all our fancy evolutionary steps gotten us, eh? We may have the primacy of eyes close together on the front of our face, but what the hell is that compared to the virus kingdom's ability to drown us in our own chest pus?

All is doomed. I see the end now. And it is messy.

Help.

What a Bust

Well, as only one over-worked, stressed R&C Society exec and one audience member showed up, and since I looked like death warmed over, the showing was cancelled. The bad part of this is that I didn't get to show my film. The good part of this is that I got to come home and am about to crawl into my PJs like 3 hours earlier than I thought.

That is a good bit of compensation, indeed.

I R-R-R-Rolled and I W-W-W-Won

So, ok, maybe it wasn't the Hybrid or the cash prize. Maybe it was only a cup of coffee, but my first cup of Tim's for Roll Up The Rim season netted a winner. That has to be a good sign, eh?

I can't believe Murph is going to miss the Rolling fun. A Tim's aficionado like him would have the system cracked in no time flat.

Damn you, Canadian Immigration. How long has it been since Tim Hortons got to you?

PS> Am feeling slightly better, but on little sleep and precious little oxygen, not to mention a raw throat, I have no idea how my showing will go tonight. However, let's just aim for "done", shall we? I can be happy with that.

A New One for Zee Doktorklub

Congrats to John for being accepted into WLU-UW PhD in Religion and Culture. I had no doubts, but it is nice to have official word.

Enjoy, fella.

I Should Be Disappointed...

Well, the prof for whom I was going to guest-teach a week long unit for has cancelled, due to the fact that he is running out of time to cover the basics in his course. His relief was almost tangible when I told him "no problem" - a reminder that even profs have time issues to deal with.

Now, I should be saddened by this loss of teaching practice, but, as the thing was scheduled for early March, I can't say I am too upset. With this cold, my public lecture Tuesday night, conferences in late March and early May, my second comp exam in May, and final edits due to the publisher on my Jack Benny chapter within the next three weeks... Let's just say I have just about enough to handle without an extra (unpaid) teaching job.

All that and tax season approaching as well. Goody.

Yup, I'm in Canada

Just got a nasty reminder of my heritage, as I took part in a winter ritual. Screw up your face, plug your nose, take a swig of Buckley's... wretch bitterly, and then check the the label again for the millionth time, asking in disbelief, "Is this really supposed to be taken internally?"

Take that, chest cold. There's a dose of pine-needle-scented napalm for you.

Transnational Me

Back in Kitchener again, after a long day on the Greyhound. I have one foot left in Ohio, where Murph remains, and one foot in Ontario, as my day to day life starts up again. For supper, even, I have half a veggie sub from London, Ontario, half a bottle of water from Hamersville, Ohio, half a Coke from Cincinnati, and a half a bottle of Mountain Dew from Detroit.

All that and half a life here in my own personal limbo land.

So life limps on.

Weak Update From Ohio

Sick. Feeling better than before, right this second, but still sick. I can only blame the germ stew that is the Greyhound system. I have been spending the lion's share of my time in Ohio asleep, sadly, though Murph's birthday was just fine. This morning saw something of a illness re-surge, but I refuse to give in today. Tonight is Murph's folks' bowling night, so a night with the place to ourselves (including this computer) was too good to miss. I don't care if I have to drag myself around, we *will* have a nice supper for just the two of us... Dominoes delivers, right?

Tomorrow means marking, but tonight is for relaxing.

And, by hook or by crook, Virus - you're going down.

A Brief Toast

Happy 28th Birthday,
Murph!
***

Spring Break OHIO!

Well, I am off to Ohio again today on the noon bus, assuming the roads and schedules are all with me. I am having one last meal of peanut butter crackers and finishing up some packing before heading off to bed. I have to keep up my strength so I can slog through 12 to 13 hours of Greyhound joy.

But come 12.30am, or so, there will be some happy faces in Cincinnati - and then it will all be worth the schlep.

Again, I will update when I can from Ohio, but I can't guarantee anything. So let me wish you all a happy Valentine's Day in advance.

Cleaning Blitz

Thank heavens for out of town trips or visitors. Without those things, I am sure I would never clean this sty.

Ewwwww.

Glowing

Well, award in hand, I am feeling pretty good. It isn't a huge deal, but it was nice to be recognized, and you gotta love that extra line on the old CV.

When I arrived home, however, I got an even more tempting little possible career advancement. The department sent out feelers to see if I would be interested in teaching a course next year. A course of my very own! Well, this is a big decision, and not one to be taken lightly, so I will consider it before nailing my hopes to it, but I can honestly say, for this, it was indeed an honour just being nominated.

So, I am feeling pretty ok. Things seem to be on the general up-and-up, and if trends continue I think this degree might actually be worth the expense and stress it will take to achieve it. In any case, knowing full well catastrophe could still strike at any minute, I am pleased with myself right now. And that is worth a lot.

So it is off to Ohio tomorrow, if the weather agrees with me. Please, hope good things for highway conditions, as a Valentine's Day rendezvous is exactly what I would most like as a reward right now.

So let's just hope my luck holds, shall we?

Live from the Kodak Theatre?

Today I get my award, which is pretty exciting. But I also get to pay my visa and do my laundry, so that kind of keeps my feet on the ground.

And then it is off to Ohio on Tuesday - wish me luck on that!

Rots the Teeth *and* the Brain

I am enjoying my sugary gack (mockingly called cereal) for breakfast - I am reliving a childhood that never really happened, as my mum would never, ever let me eat this crap as a child. However, it does bring back fond memories of Saturday morning cartoon commercials, anyway.

So I notice this little sea creature game on the back (the cheapies now just give games, not toys, I notice with narrowed eyes).

I am concerned about the content of these games - isn't it rather harmful to be constantly giving kids those "Which one DOESN'T BELONG, kids?" activities.

Like, "OK, Billy, pick out the thing in this crowd who isn't EXACTLY like the other things, and then tell it to get out, because it isn't wanted, and DOESN'T BELONG." Suddenly, a lot of my childhood feelings of alienation and self-loathing all make much more sense now.

Also, is it just me, or do these games, with the style of their colours and font, seem like they are designed to prepare kids to play scratch and win lotto when they grow up?

Jeesh. All I wanted was some innocent cavities, but now I have an ethical dilemma and a fear for humanity's future.

Thanks a lot, Toucan Sam.

What Happened?

Was on the phone last night with Murph, and I seem to have fallen asleep on him. I woke up this morning, phone beside me, lights still on, on the couch. It seems like a wild morning-after, and I know I certainly have the sofa-aches to prove it.

Too bad all it came from was a gender conference and too much late night phone talk.

Now is time for a bath to relax by, and then I may stroll down to the store to get some cereal - something garishly coloured and made entirely out of sugar, I think. I deserve a treat.

Tired, but Fine

Conference went superbly, with the added bonus of a new friend, a very nice young lady from the history department here who happened to be presenting at the same session and agreed to be my traveling companion. No one seemed to have any major beefs with what I said, and all my jokes went over well, so I am counting this as a victory.

I think I was even better than Harvard.

BIG DAY

Off to Toronto today for the launch of my conference career.

Today at 2.30pm, I present "Master of No Domain: American Jewish Males, the TV Sitcom, and the Schnook as Gendered Ethnic Trope" at the University of Toronto's Third Annual Graduate History Symposium, "After the Fall: Sex, Gender and Power."

One of the other women presenting in my session is from Harvard. Today, I feel ballsy, and can only say: Bring it on, Ivy League. Bring it on.

droopy

What on earth has happened to my sleep? I was up all night last night, got two hours of sleep this morning, and a half hour nap this evening. I am still up, I think, though it would not be unusual for me to blog in my dreams.

Of course, I see no giant koala bear dressed as Madame Blavatsky serving pink ice cream from the bathroom taps, so this is not at all like my usual dreams.

So tired. So hyper. So confused.

Friday. FRIDAY?

Jee-whiz. That means that I present my first conference presentation tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Cheese and crackers, I am way behind the ball here, folks.

Ok. No panic. I have the paper done, even if it is a bit too long. Just a nip here and a tuck there, and an eye-catching Power Point for a bit of flare. Maybe some Curb Your Enthusiasm viewing to refresh whatever in the hell I was thinking when I originally wrote this paper...

I am an inch away from being six again and praying for a snow cancellation to save me.

8 or 28 - things never really change, do they?

Labels are for Posts, Not People

I bite. I am starting to delve into the bells and whistles a bit on this new Blogger deal. Sure, I have my doubts as to the Googlification of the entire world, but I do like the idea of my posts being linked according to common themes for my convenience when I choose to thumb through the thing.

So, I guess, don't hold me to my technophobe rantings of last night. Perhaps some blog renovations are acceptable. But, still, don't expect me to pimp my blog too much. It will still be the same old rustic rambling you all know and love.

Oh, and welcome to my newest obsession - the subject matter is pure drivel, but the writing is sharp, and, even when I don't know the Z-list celebrities the guy is slagging, I still find the updates biting and smile-worthy. Enjoy!

Hooray for Small Town Folk!

Well, fueled with very little sleep, and no ciggarettes (because zombie-me forgot to grab a lighter on my way out the door), I stumbled to campus in the middle of a snow squall of nasty proportions to pick up another batch of marking. The campus part wasn't too bad, but what really ruined my day is that the nit-picker bus driver, who I have seen ream people out before, questioned the legitimacy of my student ID for bus-pass use, and then CONFISCATED it. She took my student ID. This isn't as bad as it sounded when she first announced it, as I will be able to pick it up at the university once the bus people mail it back to them, but it is still an annoyance, an extra errand shoved into my already bloated month, and a bit of a bummer.

And lord knows how long it takes for a public service to anything like send an ID card to a university. And since a university is the only thing whose employees take more time to do anything than a public service, I can't even imagine how long it will take them to let me know they have received it.

Feeling just about as kicked around by the world as I wanted to be today, I trudged home. There waiting in the foyer of my building was a lady who politely asked me if I lived in the building, and I said I did, kind of wondering what new karma-catastrophe was waiting for me. It turns out the lady, Cora, is apartment hunting and is thinking of this building, and just wanted to chat. From Northern Ontario (a breed of lovely folk who tend to get along really well with East Coast folk), she was a friendly and talkative person - the type of person I find myself missing while away from out home so long.

By the time I got in and sat down at the computer, after a 20 minute chat with a friendly stranger who I could help out a bit, all the stress and embarrassment and bitterness over having been publicly stripped of my student ID (ID= my identity!, my subconscious cries) has been virtually dissolved.

So, yes. Hooray for small town folk. May each of you run into someone today who makes you smile - the world isn't all bad, you know.

*

EEEP

Blogger forced me to switch my nearly-1000-post blog over to the new system just now. Am too scared to look at the results. Haven't looked at the archives yet.

Let me know if you see anything amiss.

...

Follow Up: Well, all seems ok, I think, so I am likely on solid ground. However, you will notice none of the superfluous bells and whistles or unnecessary make-overs here. This Old Blog will stay exactly as it is, as I get over the trauma of a bunch of technocrats changing things that were fine as they were, simply to legitimize their jobs.

Drop down archive menus and fancy link lists are fine and dandy, but spending hours converting this thing to "mod" for no reason except to say I did it...? That hardly seems like something I would enjoy right now.

*

Fantasy Land

Just strolled down to the store... Well, I strolled as much as one can stroll in this frigid weather. I was awed by how lovely it is out - the snow is such perfect powder that the ground looks sprinkled with the dust of crushed diamonds. Sparkles fly in the air, almost as if the stars have all fallen. The magic of the Northland in winter - in full glory.

Yet, the cold out there soon takes the charm off, so I have returned to my nest, where tonight is being spent having a long-distance IM/phone sleepover with my hubby, whose regularly scheduled annoyances have been called on account of snow.

So, thanks, Ohio, for the blizzard - maybe the Midwestlands in winter ain't so bad, either.
*

Sleep?

It's 4.30am, and I am busy chatting to someone who isn't even online. (Sorry, Murph, but there will be a million lines of chatter from a raving insomniac waiting for you when you sign into your IM this morning!)

Sleep will not reach me. I am having a cup of instant soup in hopes that the soothing childhood feel of it will lull me, but I find it unlikely.

I search for things to occupy my sleepless hours -- I am too tired to do anything academically productive, but not yet tired enough to just sit and stare. AIM helps, and so does a bit of much-needed cleaning, and some make-busy email sorting. I could have done without the hour-long computer freak out, but at least it ate up some of the long, cold night.

I have an insane urge to pack for my trip to Ohio, even though I won't likely even be going til the 13th. But, then, I never unpacked from the last trip, so maybe I will count myself already prepared for travel. Of course, my wedding clothes will not be of much use this second time, but if you have enough style, you can make any outfit work, right?

Today's errand list: Buy blank DVDs, housecoat and webcam. Which one of those things will be the culprit that pushes my nerves over the edge, huh?

Oh, Ohio, where are you when I need you?

(May I just say, "SPRING BREAK OHIO 2007" is just about as abnormal a thing as any university student ever could look forward to? Just saying is all.)
*

Jackpot, Indeed!

Got in the mail tonight long awaited details about that award I am to receive on the 12th. While the award is still an honour, it sadly seems that fame does not always come with fortune. My George P. Grant Memorial Award scholarship is a sum total of $150. Canadian. I guess that is conservative spending for you.

Oh well, it will still pay for a bus ticket to Ohio with my ISIC card, so I guess I am still coming out a winner, right?

And a line on the CV is still a line on the CV.
*

Thank G-d for the Superbowl

Yes, the Superbowl was a gift, today. Do I know who won? Better question: Do I know who was even playing?

But it got hubby hours and hours to himself to call me in leisure and speak above a whisper, as all traces of family were off to a Superbowl Party, and my fella elected to stay behind to talk to me.

If a man chooses you over sports, that makes him a keeper, right?
*

Hello? Breath?

Woke up this morning at about 5am with a lordly-bad asthma attack - the milk I had the night before was not a good idea at all. So now I am a sore-throated, jittery, head-achy, wheezing mess, with a bad case of the chills. Perhaps errands outside in the cold wind is NOT such a good idea today. Yet, still want that webcam ASAP... hmmmm. Does BestBuy deliver?
*

Down the Rabbit Hole

Where have my past few days gone? Lost in a haze of strange sleep and yet sleeplessness. Endless talk, yet voids of loneliness. It is a strange world, indeed.

Today, I must run some shopping errands, edit a paper, finish a Power Point presentation, and get some abstracts typed in - and possibly fish out some book reviews. That is what I must do. I must and I will.

It's time to find my way out of the warren.
*

Confirmation

I received confirmation of my conference at University of Toronto for 1.30pm on Saturday, February 10, 2007. My first conference, since the aborted Vancouver attempt fell through. Now all I have to do is either figure out the bus schedule or get a hold of the two other WLU students presenting there that day, and I am all set.

Lordy - from Union station (or wherever) to some U of T building, all by myself? I hope I make it back to tell the tale.
*

sleep, slapt, gesleepen

Just woke up with one thought: is that 6.30am or pm? After 26 hours of being awake, I fell into some sort of a coma last night, from which I have just now emerged. I am not sure where I am, what time it is, or what day it is right now.

Very confused.
*

Regrets and Annoyances, as Usual

You know, I only had one stinking glass of eggnog this past holiday season. Only one. And now the stuff is gone from store shelves for another year. Missed opportunities - I've seen my share.

Run errors - don't know what they are, but I wish they'd rot in hell. I paid $900 for this comp, and I know that does not spell top of the line to the execs, but that is a boatload of dough to me, so this thing better last until the end of my degree, or there will be one ever-lovin-large bag of flaming dog poop on Acer's doorstep, I can tell you that.

I bought it in late November 2006, and I graduate in summer 2009. That should not be too much to ask for, even for "modern technology." Yet, the mouse is already toast, so how far behind must the rest of it be? Am thinking of getting a webcam - likely the expense of one more accessory for this comp will spell its final doom. Such is the way of things in Hollyland.

Bah - Had to review 30 paper proposals for the AAR regional conference, and I had to do it in a hurry, too. Also, I had to record those quiz grades and get them ready to hand back out. Soon, I have to start re-vamping that U of Toronto conference paper I am presenting, and finish up some research work from last summer.

Weather is dipping down to -17 C (that is 1F for my Yank friends) later this week. Lord, the thought of doing anything seems beyond me right now. Why can't I just spend my evenings sacked out in front of a movie like all normal people this time of the year? Sure, there's no commute in my life, but I would really, really just like some (true and guilt-free) rest.

The expected late-February journey to Ohio can't come soon enough.
*