The Plunge

Just called the university daycare centre... they are pricey (well, pricey for me, but not for childcare in general), but the woman was very nice. I am so freaked out about this, but I do think it has to be done.

Going in to see them on Friday, to get the tour and such. Crying my fool ass off right now, but such is life.

I am sure it will hurt me much more than it will him.

Horrified

I had a cat in highschool, Grace. I loved that cat more than most humans in my life. When I left for university, my mum moved back in with my dad (long story there), and took the cat with her. Then, just before I was done my first year, the cat passed away - she was pretty old, and my mum said she died quietly in the yard, and that they just found her under my dad's truck, dead.

I was devastated, but you know that these things happen, so I dealt with it.

Now, on the phone with mum today, she had this "confession." Turns out, the cat did not die peacefully, but was mauled to death by my dad's foul beast of a dog - who was not put to sleep afterwards, and went on to terrorize the family for several more years only to die in his sleep. Some justice there!

So, now, I am in mourning all over again. It's like I lost her all over again, the wound is that fresh. To find out such a good and loving cat came to such a brutal end just destroys me.

The point of this... Well, I guess mum should have told me the truth at the time, but I know she is no good at that sort of thing. However, I do wonder what the point is of telling me now, years later?

I guess it got the guilt off her chest for having lied to me, but it didn't make me feel any better to know now.

So, if you tell "little white lies," please be prepared to live with them - revealing the truth later may do something for you, but it might really hurt the person on the other end.

R.I.P., Grace - you were a fine and handsome cat, still in my heart. I miss you, Gracey.

A conversation with Sprout (19 mos) on Love:

ME: Mommy loves you.
HIM: Awww!
ME: Do you know mommy loves you?
HIM: Yes.
ME: Do you love mommy?
HIM: Wait... What?
ME: Are you avoiding the question?
HIM: HA!
ME: I'm rushing you, huh?
HIM: Pfft! (Runs out of the room.)

The moral of this little vignette: Never rush a man into a commitment.

i feel two feet tall

Why aren't you finished your dissertation? When will you be done? Why can't you afford your tuition?

Can you point me to the nearest hole, so I can crawl in there and die, please?

Philosophical Moment

I have never been bothered by questions like, "why are we here?" It's enough that we are, and we do the best we can with what we have.

I'd rather live life that way then look too hard and find out we are only here because we're some sort of parasite the earth caught one night when it had a bit too much to drink and spent the night with Venus without protection. (Which is sometimes what I worry about the poor old human race.)

Also, This Makes me Laugh:

Happy Hallowe'en, Folksies.

lovely day

Buggered Even Worse

Well, hello Poop Creek; it hasn't been long enough.

So, it seems that, come November 9th, I will be both kicked out of school, and unexpectedly unemployed.

Great.

buggered

When it rains, it friggin pours, and that's the truth, brother.

Do You Have a Bucket List?

Just watched the movie The Bucket List tonight. I'm a bit of a sucker for Morgan Freeman and (occasionally) Rob Reiner movies, and it was an ok flick. But, as things usually go, I was puttering around after the movie, and then, in the only place a mom of a small child can do any thinking, I got to considering my own bucket list while having a quiet piddle.

The "gist" of this movie is that two guys, having only 6 mos to a year left while dying of cancer, decide to complete a long wacky list of things before they "kick the bucket" (hence the name).

Now, they had a lot of dough at their disposal, and I do not, but I do have (I hope) more time, so I think it evens out.

(Now, don't snicker...)

My Bucket List:

1. Raise one sensible, caring and wonderful child to self-sufficiency.
2. Get my PhD.
3. Publish something of which I can be proud.
4. Spend some quality time with my folks some day soon. (They live far away.)
5. Write my screenplay... even if it ends up sitting in a drawer forever.
6. Try to give back what I have received.
7. Touch Nova Scotian soil once more.
8. Enjoy a real, honest moment of restful self-satisfaction.
9. Get to a point in my life where I can actually lay my head down at night without worrying and truly appreciate it.
10. Live long enough and use my time so well that I am required to make another Bucket List once this one is completed.

Anyone else?

Blah.

That is all.

HOW???

HOW is it already Thursday!?!?! EEK!

Words of Encouragement

“All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin' In The Sun,
Talkin' 'Bout The Things
They Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda Done...
But All Those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All Ran Away And Hid
From One Little Did.”

- Shel Silverstein

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Hi There

Onwards, Mush...

MUST work harder and faster; I need to send something off by the weekend. I had wanted to send both of the new chapters together, but if that's not possible, I have to send at least one.

Hyah!

My Vegetarian Stuffing

Night Before:

Boil potatoes, onion and celery; make mashed potatoes, with water, milk, butter, salt, pepper, garlic, parsley and chives. Refrigerate over night.


Day of:

Reheat mashed potatoes, and mix with a half cup of veggie bullion broth, celery seeds, rosemary, tumeric, poultry seasoning and a small portion of creamed chickpeas. (Half can of mushrooms, optional.) Let cool, while covered.

Toast two slices of whole wheat bread, and then crumble and toss in a plastic bag with seasoned oil (rosemary, garlic, etc.). Shake until the bread has absorbed the oil and picked up the seasoning.

Mix potatoes with crumbled bread, and press into lightly greased oven-safe casserole dish. Brush with oil or melted butter, and add a layer of slivered almonds on top.

Bake until brown and crusty. (Layer of shredded cheese on top, optional.)

Serve with mushroom gravy.

I don't want to say anything any more.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrr

It's way too cold and dark for me to be up and getting ready for work right now. I wish I could crawl back into bed until a more civilized hour.

Hallowe'en Treats

Caramel Apples

INGREDIENTS
6 apples
1 (14 ounce) package individually wrapped caramels, unwrapped
2 tablespoons milk

DIRECTIONS
- Remove the stem from each apple and press a craft stick into the top. Butter a baking sheet.
- Place caramels and milk in a microwave safe bowl, and microwave 2 minutes, stirring once. Allow to cool briefly.
- Roll each apple quickly in caramel sauce until well coated. Place on prepared sheet to set.
(Crushed peanuts on some?)

***

Old Time Popcorn Balls

INGREDIENTS
2 cups white sugar
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 quarts popped popcorn
1 teaspoon distilled white vinegar
1/2 teaspoon salt


DIRECTIONS
- Butter the sides of a large saucepan. In the sauce pan combine the sugar, water, salt, corn syrup and vinegar. Cook over medium heat to the hard ball stage 250 degrees F (120 degrees C). Stir in the vanilla and slowly pour the hot mixture over the popped popcorn, stirring just to mix well.
- Butter hands lightly and shape into balls. Mixture will be hot so be careful. Place balls on waxed paper to cool.

5 Wunnerful Songs

So much wunnerful (in no particular order)...











(This reminds me - I have to get back to my 500 top songs lists soon...)

Request:

Don't send me any emails with "URGENT" in the subject line... unless, you know, it actually is.

Panicky people = not my favs.