Tired... So Tired...

For my online class, I have about 80 papers to mark before tomorrow night - only 500 words each, but still. I prepped for Monday's class today and polished up the take home midterm handout, so that's a good thing, but I also have about 20 reader responses to mark for that class by Monday.

I also have two publication projects and a conference paper to write, a job app to do, and a student loan related thingy to get done... And next week, I will have more online quizzes and 60 midterms to mark.

So Spring Break is already shot before it even arrives.

Yep. Mid-term whammy has hit me hard, and I wanna sllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Resolutions, 2011 Edition

2010 has been quite a year. I had my first professional fiction published, got my first academic job and my first real interview (coming up in January!), finished and received my PhD... All that has been wonderful. I have also spent the entire year living hand to mouth without a job, scraping and dodging, and trying to come up with every month's rent like a crisis. I guess you could say 2010 has been the best of times and the worst of times. I'm kind of glad it's over, but I have done a lot and made a lot of progress, so I am happy it went the way it did. It could have been more comfortable, but we survived.

So, now, in the last week of 2010 - some goals for the upcoming year.

1. To continue writing and improving at my writing, since i does make me happy, but to make it a smaller part of my waking hours.

2. To increase my academic publishing and conference record for the CV.

3. To continue to strive for a permanent teaching job, or, failing that, to secure term-by-term contracts all year so I don't have to deal with unemployment in 2011. Or, failing even that, to save as much as I can during the good times so the lean times won't be so stressful.

4. To do really, really well at my teaching - I need good evaluations for the job hunt, and I want to make myself proud of me.

5. To generally live a better life. Be healthier, keep a better home, stay on top of things and be less stressed. To enjoy my time with the tot more, and be a happier person. To have a better life, in all the big and small ways I can do that.

Happy 2011!

Holy Carp - So Behind

This last week of sickness has really blown my plans to hell and back. I had been procrastinating a bit in "early December," thinking I could recoup later... but, then, chest colds hit and now I am boned. Now it is nearly "end of December," and I haven't even put a dent in my list, really - actually, I have even added tasks. :(

Work that Needs Immediate Attention:

• Need to complete Valentine's Day short story ASAP
• Need to re-write academic chapter ASAP
• Need to write 17 articles for an encyclopedia project by Jan 15 (new paying gig, added this week)
• Need to prep for my courses (ongoing)
• Need to finish up day care paperwork today so I can take it in tomorrow
• Bills and banking and such ASAP
• Prep for job phone interview...? (Not even sure how exactly to prep for that.)
• Try to get a handle on housework before teaching starts, esp laundry.

I also have a couple nifty blog posts in mind to do when I have a moment, so we'll see if I have some time. I will at least do my end of year wrap up and resolutions at some point this week. I would really like to finish up and polish my NaNo novel so I can submit it, so I can start on my Winter 2011 novel project. sigh... I'm going to stop thinking of what I need to do now, since the list just keeps growing.

WORK WORK WORK...

So Bizarre

I was Googling myself (you know, like one does occasionally to see what's out there), and I came across someone's thesis in PDF that uses extensively a chapter I wrote a couple of years ago. It's an odd feeling to read oneself written about like a real expert.

Very, very odd.

busy, busy, busy

Getting my two course sites up and running - brand new finalized syllabi are up in PDF, no less. I also designed the rough drafts for the term paper instructions and midterm for my in-class course, and marked out a time management plan on a separate calendar to make sure I can handle all the marking that comes with 160 students (100 first years; 60 third years).

I am also catching up on a bunch of academics-related emails that had fallen by the wayside while I fought off the plague - an editor of an encyclopedia wants to know if I can write them some entries, and some grad student wants me to participate in a panel discussion, and I had to do some follow up on some RA work and a job application.

The next couple of weeks will be dedicated to reading ahead for both courses, preparing lectures in advance (my in-class course and one guest lecture), re-writing that chapter, and doing those two Valentine's Day short stories. I also want to finish and edit my NaNo novel so I can submit it to a publisher in January... That's a lot to do, with not a lot of time to do it.

Also, as a side note, the tot has discovered that claiming to need to go poop in the potty is a great way to defer bedtime for at least 20 minutes. Kid's an evil genius for sure.

pray for mojo

I might be scarce for the next while.

I am, as always, trying to work as much as I can for money - got some typing to do, so that is good stuff I can do from home. Plus, I really need to work ahead on my courses. I have my course outlines due to the dept for next term by the 1st-3rd of December, and a heck of a lot of writing to do on top of that.

I want to have two short stories, my novel and an academic chapter all ready to submit by the end of December. I will also likely soon have the edits on my novel to do, whenever they send them to me. (Tonight, I have a novella galley to proof.) As usual, I should also be promoting my available works whenever I can, which is a pain in the butt. I have to make a trailer for my upcoming release this weekend, before I forget to do it.

blaaaaah.

Work Work Work

You know, for an unemployed person, I sure am busy these days.

My NaNoWriMo project is steaming along, at about 36.5k - only 15k until I meet the minimum requirement, which I should reach this week (fate and toddler willing), but the book is meant to be more along the lines of 60-65k, so it will take me a bit longer to reach that. I am also looking for interested publishers. I thought I had one in mind that seemed terrifically ideal, but with further research I am not so sure. I am thinking of playing with the big boys and sending it to Harlequin's e-book off print. We'll see how that goes.

This week, one of my short erotic romances releases for sale, and on December 10th my Christmas romance comes out. I have to remind myself to do those book trailers, ASAP. sigh. In December, I will have to write a couple Valentine's stories if I can find the time, as well, since next term I won't have the time to write much. (Planning one novella for all of next term, so I have to make hay while the sun shines.)

In other writing news, I finished off one freelance gig for a mag in the UK, and some editing work (some for money, some for my upcoming fiction releases), and am now off to re-write an academic chapter I submitted for an edited volume. The editor said he wanted the topic in the book, but didn't like my "flow." So, we'll see what we can do about that. He offered to call me to discuss it, but given the tot's obsession with the phone, that is so not a good idea at the moment. The editor has AIM, so maybe we'll go that way. Though it will be a ton of work to re-write the thing, I have hopes of doing it before the New Year.

I continue hoping to squeeze in some time to convert the dissertation for publication, as well. High hopes, indeed!

In terms of work, I submitted a really important job application (for a Real Job, yo), which was a lot of scurrying. I also applied for another class here for next term, which I actually got (YAY!), so now I am busy trying to prepare for two courses running from Jan to April 2011. It's hard work, and a bit stressful, but really exciting. I am starting to look forward to my courses. Check in again in February, though, as that excitement will likely have worn off by then. The finalized syllabi are due to the dept by December 1, so that is my task for the next while. Then I can start stockpiling lectures and materials, and start working on the course websites. I have a couple more applications for Sept 2011 due in January, and I am hoping the job ads for summer courses will come out soon, so there will soon be that fun, as well.

Aside from all that, which I think is a lot, there has also been the day-to-day mommy/life stuff, but that's a lot less interesting, so I shall spare you. Soon, I need to start preparing for the holidays, as well, so FUN FUN FUN there. sigh.

I hope everyone is well, and bears with me as I often neglect this poor old blog. I will return when I can.

There's my completely uninteresting, utilitarian post. Enjoy!

Dissertation II: Revamping the Diss

So, I have a mandate from a university press to re-write a couple chapters of the dissertation and submit it with a prospectus, ASAP, for consideration for publication in a totally awesome series that I would die to get into.

So... On the agenda:

• Remove theory, lit review and such.
• Change communitarianism/liberalism to identity discourses of collectivism and individualism.
• Up the film history/film studies and cultural studies quotient.
• Re-write the dust out of it, and make it more for educated general readers.
• Cut it down to a more respectable length.

Ok... so, now we turn back to the dissertation, and try not to vomit as I set, once more, to editing the beast. After a lecture on it in Sept, a short derivative work from it in Oct, a come-on from a magazine to do a short piece on it, and now this... I am starting to think I may never get away from it.

Just when you thought it was over... IT'S BACK!

The Life of an Article

This is the true and very frustrating story of a recent article that has been hanging over me for basically ever.

• April 2006: I write a paper for a graduate class that I really like. I file it away for future publication.
• April 2009: I pull out this paper, and dust it off for publication. I send it to a quarterly mag I know in the field. They say they love it, and will get back to me with edits.
• January 2010: I email again to inquire as to what is happening with that article. They respond - so sorry, it got missed in the process, etc etc... We'll get on it.
• April 2010: I receive and do a series of edits. Am told it is done, and to please send suggested illustrations, which I do.
• May 2010: On my birthday, the week of the biggest event of my career (requiring a lot of preparation), I get an urgent email - Please do this huge gob of edits for us, and please send illustrations, as we need to run this article this week. I do the edits (ON MY BIRTHDAY), and re-send illustrations.
• June 2010: Am told the article was bumped from that issue, due to some mid-east crisis, and it will run in the fall issue.
• September 2010: Get email from a different editor, and am asked to do whole new set of edits, which I do. Am also asked to send illustrations suggestions, which I re-send. Am told again that the article is fine, and will run in November issue.
• October 2010: Get an email (at 8pm Saturday night) from yet another editor, and am asked to do a whole new round of edits - largely putting back in the stuff that ED1 and ED2 gutted out of the thing in the more than a year and a half these people have had it. Am asked to do these by Monday, as they are running it the following week.

Well, I did the edits and sent them in, so now I guess it *may* run. I emailed and asked if they need me to re-send the illustrations, as I assume they will. I mean, why not make it four times I have been asked, right?

ARGH.

working forward

I have a week to decide on a dissertation chapter for a project a scholar asked me to contribute to... Which means I have left it too late to ask for advice on which chapter, which sucks. However! I am resolved to make the effort... So now I will be forced to look at the dissertation again. blah.

In other (good) news, I finished writing my holiday short a bit ahead of schedule, and ill be trying to burn through my other two short writing projects this month, so I should see some release dates coming up soon. I got very positive feedback on the guest lecturing I did last month, and have two guest lectures coming up soon. I also think I finally finished that Chaplin project, so I should see that released in the near future - and that one pays! Huzzah.

I also have some job/postdoc apps and things that look ok - or at least with trying range - for the next little while - mostly starting next summer or fall.

Just wanted to let everyone know everything isn't all bad. I'm working on things.

october's safe... now for november

Well, paid the last of the bills for October, so now I will have a couple of weeks without harassing calls, etc. This is my favourite part of the month. The calm before the storm starts up again, as it were... Now, I have to start worrying about making the last week of Oct/first week of Nov gauntlet run, but it's at least not to a stressful point, yet.

Also still keeping in mind that $115 I need to attend graduation, if I can... Not a huge concern compared to the others, but still important to me.

Work, however, is getting rather fever pitch. By October 15th, I am hoping to have the Xmas novella and an Xmas short ready for submission, a chapter for the dissertation ready to send to a fellow editing a volume, and my bookstore order in for the class next term. I also have the Chaplin article to edit this week, some job apps, and some editing work coming up, as well as two lectures to give later in the month. That's a lot of words to produce in just a few short weeks. Let's hope the squid doesn't run out of ink any time soon.

All that and the fun of regularly scheduled human survival maintenance! YAY!

So, nothing to do but to do it, I guess.

Aaaaaaannnnnddd... GO!

lecture

Trying to prepare a three hour class for tomorrow, but I'm having a hard time forcing myself to do the work. Part of it is I am freaked out about printing all those pages off, but I just figured out the main reason.

Doing this will mean I have to look at my dissertation again after nearly four months of freedom from the damn thing. This is also why I haven't been able to prepare the submission an editor has requested for a volume he's putting together.

I am really reluctant to ever open that damn thing ever again.

But, duty calls. sigh.

Encouragement

Retrieving the zen.

About three years ago, I posted a list of ten things I love about myself. It was completely egotistical and self-aggrandizing, but I think sometimes such things are good for the soul - conceit and modesty in moderate measure, right? (Especially during job hunting.)

So, here's ten more things I love about myself, and things I should keep in mind during the soul-sodomizing process of looking for a job:

1. I like the way I look. I'm a little chunky, and I could really stand a new wardrobe and a bit more self-care, but, in general, I am pleasant on the eyes, I think.

2. I put quite a lot of care and thought into motherhood - I have tried to develop a few guiding principles to raising my son, which I think (hope) fosters some continuity within my decisions, rules and behaviours. I try to be a rational parent, even when he is driving me completely nuts.

3. I did my PhD in just over four years, with a child and fairly small funding. Believe me, this is kind of a heroic feat - most PhD students in Canada take between four and ten years - most fall around seven years. And that's without children, for many of them. I know speed is not the point, as it is not a race, but it does indicate something about my drive, abilities and determination, I think. Many people had me pegged as a drop-out, I think, when I had a baby. But I showed them all. I really need to take more joy in this accomplishment.

4. My dissertation is innovative, well-written and interesting, I think. I put a lot of effort into it, and I do think (though I am sick of it) it was a fine accomplishment for a young scholar. I also have managed to nail down a fairly good CV in my relatively short degree, with a handful of promising publications. I know some students, of whom I have been quite jealous and/or intimidated, who do not have such a CV. I think it is time for me to lay to rest that feeling that I don't measure up. I actually have a pretty good record. It's time for me to believe that, I think.

5. My brain is lively and interdisciplinary - I am not attached to any particular theory or school of thought, and I can apply sociological principles as easy as I can cultural studies, etc. Of course, I am often behind the game in discerning which is which, but I chose to chalk that up to a fine, lateral mind.

6. I am quick-witted and can talk very well. In an interview or Q&A, I appear authoritative and knowledgeable, so this will serve me well in the job hunt. This is an asset. And, you know what? I am beginning to think I may not just be appearing authoritative and knowledgeable... I may actually BE authoritative and knowledgeable. huh.

7. I am a good household manager - I can make due on very little grocery money, and the meals can still be tasty and nutritious. This is a major skill to have in uncertain times, I think.

8. I am able to take pleasure in very minor, practical enjoyments - movies I have watched a million times, staying in with a book, taking a long walk. I have a very simple life, and I am ok with that most of the time. I get restless like most people at times, but I am not the sort to feel hard-pressed if I can't go to bars or take a yearly vacation to some place new. I like where I am. I think that shows an inner satisfaction that I often miss about myself.

9. I have good taste in music, movies and such. I have a wide interest, and I try to learn about the things I enjoy. I also try to keep movies and things in mind so I can mention them to people who might like them, and I am often correct in my recommendations. Yet, I don't get annoyed when I am wrong. I just like to share. I am particularly keen on sharing my musical tastes with my son, who is turning out to have pretty awesome, eclectic tastes, as well.

10. I love my son, and he loves me.

That was a useful exercise. I feel better. Refreshed for the job hunt ahead.

Now... lunch!

2.5 Days til D-Day (Well, a little less than that)

I managed to squeeze in those reference edits on the publication, so that is done. (Yes, I am Hot Stuff.)

But now I have something of a dream job posting that I am eager to get cracking on - it would allow us some financial security even in the summer, and potentially for the next year. I WANT. (But, trying not to get my hopes up.) I still have the Pittsburgh app to do, but I admit I want this local temp job more right now, even though it is about 200% less prestigious - it's local, it pays ok, and it's valuable experience, which are my three main desires right now. Income and CV bulk. And no stressful/expensive move, if I can help it.

But, to be honest - I feel lucky. I think there's going to be a change of good vibes in my direction, soon.

Today, I also got a draft of my dissertation printed, and spiral bound, for use at defence - and it look mahvellous. I have decided to bite the bullet and see if any office on campus is willing to print my four copies for free on May 31 for final submission. I have priced this as low as $90 at commercial print shops, but if I could avoid even that much, I'd be a happy person.

I also have my handouts done and copied - they are tasteful and professional looking, and I don't think anyone will see them as a crutch.

So, now - read the diss, practice the lecture, and review the bare essentials for Q&A (Bowling Alone, Bellah, Frederick Barth, and as much liberalism as I can handle). I have also found a whole whack of Sandel lectures online I will watch to help me along, and have a few more movies to re-watch to refresh my memory. Otherwise, I think I am about as ready as I can get at this point.

I went to campus and hunted down my defence room today, so I will not get lost Friday morning... Wow. This thing is freaking really happening!

imma throw up.

3 Days til D-Day

OK, so now I'm scared. I can't tell where to go from here - more Q&A work, which would be useful, or more work on the lecture, which is essential. I'm nervous.

I ended up having a nice birthday - pizza in the park! Thanks to K. for coming over. It was so nice to have a spot of fun after the day I was having.

Editor got back to me - she really likes what I did to the piece, but wants me to integrate the references into the text and ixnay the footnotes. Um... not today, I think.

I'm really very nerved up.

Stress Update

• Piece and pics are done/chosen, roughly, and sent off.
• Still waiting for UPS, so I have not yet had a chance to shower, and b'day plans are supposed to start fairly soon. sigh.
• Several emails received and dealt with, re: defence and apps.
• No cleaning done, I'm afraid.
• Computers suck arse.

That is all.

A Great Birthday Present pt II

So get this kids - the editor of that journal emails me saying they want the piece, so I say "Great! I'm defending on Friday and will have edits to do on that, so I can get a new draft to you in early June."

So she responds to me, asking, "Can you get to it right away? It won't take long to do these fixes."

So I reply, "Well, I guess since I am taking today off for my birthday (emphasis in my head, not in type), I can take a look at the changes immediately if need be (ditto)."

Her response? "That would be great. Can you find us some images, too?"

sigh.

Happy birthday to me.


(ETA: Though I guess this means they must be trying to run it in the summer issue, which is pretty awesome, even if inconvenient.)

A Great Birthday Present

YAY!

I just got notification that a piece as been accepted - by a paying journal (these are fairly rare for academics). I just have to do some edits, and re-send, and it should be in print in the Autumn issue.

Fame at Last

I got an email this morning from an "international publishing house," Lampert Academic Publishing, saying they had read my dissertation abstract on Academia.edu and would be pleased to consider my dissertation for publication once I am finished. I must admit there was a thrill of possibility in that first second of reading, but then came the "wait... there must be a catch?"

Well, a bit of research has confirmed they are indeed a publishing company, and they do sell academic type books, and they do pay you royalties once a year if the book ever turns a profit. However, it seems that they basically publish anything. So, I basically got hit up by a vanity press - just one that doesn't charge you.

I am not ranting about this, as I guess this would be an option if I didn't intend to continue in academics. You get one free copy, so that's nice, I guess. Yet, it is a bit of an annoyance, simply because there was a moment there where I was flattered/excited, before my better instincts kicked in. I was pleased to have an option in case Brandeis (who has already bought the right of first refusal) passes on it - which they certainly may do. So, it doesn't appear to be a scam, necessarily, but it is rather a let down.

Maybe I will offer them my MA thesis - if they publish that, they will certainly publish anything, and then we'll know for sure.

***

ETA: If one is interested in publishing grad research in a less shady way, there is always UMI, which is pretty well-respected, and they make no bullspit about wide international sales. To be honest, I actually am considering sending them my MA thesis, simply to say I did something with the damn thing.

Five Pieces on Authenticity to do this Summer

- Review essay of Potter and Taylor

- Short piece on Potter for religious studies

- Essay on my liberalism-communitarianism authenticity synthesis

- Review of A Serious Man in light of Potter

- Piece on performance of authenticity?