Retrieving the zen.
About
three years ago, I posted a list of ten things I love about myself. It was completely egotistical and self-aggrandizing, but I think sometimes such things are good for the soul - conceit and modesty in moderate measure, right? (Especially during job hunting.)
So, here's ten more things I love about myself, and things I should keep in mind during the soul-sodomizing process of looking for a job:
1. I like the way I look. I'm a little chunky, and I could really stand a new wardrobe and a bit more self-care, but, in general, I am pleasant on the eyes, I think.
2. I put quite a lot of care and thought into motherhood - I have tried to develop a few guiding principles to raising my son, which I think (hope) fosters some continuity within my decisions, rules and behaviours. I try to be a rational parent, even when he is driving me completely nuts.
3. I did my PhD in just over four years, with a child and fairly small funding. Believe me, this is kind of a heroic feat - most PhD students in Canada take between four and ten years - most fall around seven years. And that's without children, for many of them. I know speed is not the point, as it is not a race, but it does indicate something about my drive, abilities and determination, I think. Many people had me pegged as a drop-out, I think, when I had a baby. But I showed them all. I really need to take more joy in this accomplishment.
4. My dissertation is innovative, well-written and interesting, I think. I put a lot of effort into it, and I do think (though I am sick of it) it was a fine accomplishment for a young scholar. I also have managed to nail down a fairly good CV in my relatively short degree, with a handful of promising publications. I know some students, of whom I have been quite jealous and/or intimidated, who do not have such a CV. I think it is time for me to lay to rest that feeling that I don't measure up. I actually have a pretty good record. It's time for me to believe that, I think.
5. My brain is lively and interdisciplinary - I am not attached to any particular theory or school of thought, and I can apply sociological principles as easy as I can cultural studies, etc. Of course, I am often behind the game in discerning which is which, but I chose to chalk that up to a fine, lateral mind.
6. I am quick-witted and can talk very well. In an interview or Q&A, I appear authoritative and knowledgeable, so this will serve me well in the job hunt. This is an asset. And, you know what? I am beginning to think I may not just be appearing authoritative and knowledgeable... I may actually BE authoritative and knowledgeable. huh.
7. I am a good household manager - I can make due on very little grocery money, and the meals can still be tasty and nutritious. This is a major skill to have in uncertain times, I think.
8. I am able to take pleasure in very minor, practical enjoyments - movies I have watched a million times, staying in with a book, taking a long walk. I have a very simple life, and I am ok with that most of the time. I get restless like most people at times, but I am not the sort to feel hard-pressed if I can't go to bars or take a yearly vacation to some place new. I like where I am. I think that shows an inner satisfaction that I often miss about myself.
9. I have good taste in music, movies and such. I have a wide interest, and I try to learn about the things I enjoy. I also try to keep movies and things in mind so I can mention them to people who might like them, and I am often correct in my recommendations. Yet, I don't get annoyed when I am wrong. I just like to share. I am particularly keen on sharing my musical tastes with my son, who is turning out to have pretty awesome, eclectic tastes, as well.
10. I love my son, and he loves me.
That was a useful exercise. I feel better. Refreshed for the job hunt ahead.
Now... lunch!
