2.5 Days til D-Day (Well, a little less than that)

I managed to squeeze in those reference edits on the publication, so that is done. (Yes, I am Hot Stuff.)

But now I have something of a dream job posting that I am eager to get cracking on - it would allow us some financial security even in the summer, and potentially for the next year. I WANT. (But, trying not to get my hopes up.) I still have the Pittsburgh app to do, but I admit I want this local temp job more right now, even though it is about 200% less prestigious - it's local, it pays ok, and it's valuable experience, which are my three main desires right now. Income and CV bulk. And no stressful/expensive move, if I can help it.

But, to be honest - I feel lucky. I think there's going to be a change of good vibes in my direction, soon.

Today, I also got a draft of my dissertation printed, and spiral bound, for use at defence - and it look mahvellous. I have decided to bite the bullet and see if any office on campus is willing to print my four copies for free on May 31 for final submission. I have priced this as low as $90 at commercial print shops, but if I could avoid even that much, I'd be a happy person.

I also have my handouts done and copied - they are tasteful and professional looking, and I don't think anyone will see them as a crutch.

So, now - read the diss, practice the lecture, and review the bare essentials for Q&A (Bowling Alone, Bellah, Frederick Barth, and as much liberalism as I can handle). I have also found a whole whack of Sandel lectures online I will watch to help me along, and have a few more movies to re-watch to refresh my memory. Otherwise, I think I am about as ready as I can get at this point.

I went to campus and hunted down my defence room today, so I will not get lost Friday morning... Wow. This thing is freaking really happening!

imma throw up.

Insider Info

It is always worth having a friendly relationship with the department administrative assistant. They are the real info centre of a department.

First, I discovered that one previous student did indeed have food at their defence, and that this admin assistant was the one who ordered it - now, I have coffee, cold drinks and cookies ordered for my own defence. I will bring a dozen doughnuts and a box of berries, myself.

Second - I have discovered that the courses for my department for fall and winter are to be posted next Monday. This doesn't give me much of an advantage, but knowing for sure that I haven't missed them does give me hope.

She asked me if I had ever taught my own course before, and I said no, sadly. She said she was sure the department would be more than willing to help me on this, and I said I hoped so. Silently, though, I have my doubts on that one.

On one hand, the department really should give me my first class, as the degree without teaching experience is actually quite useless on the job market - there are always dozens of under-employed ABDs/PhDs around with actual class experience, so getting a foot in is nearly impossible. They should know this, and I hope they are willing to give me at least one course to get the ball rolling - once I get one, I think it will be a lot easier to get classes (or a real job, dare I hope?) in the future.

But, on the other hand, I cannot blame them for not hiring me. In today's economy, they need to protect their department, as the university is always looking to hack away at departments that fail to earn. Why should they stick their necks out on a newbie with no experience when they can get tested professors? For this reason, I cannot fault them for not wanting to risk a foul-up.

That having been said, I am really hoping the admin's words were prophetic. If they took that chance, it would pretty much save my career, because, as it is, breaking into the biz with nothing but TA and research experience, even with publications, is absolutely grim.

Fingers crossed some more.

Calm Blue Ocean

Harassed at every corner, by aggravating students and bill collectors and student loan paper work and dissertation crap, along with that stupid poison control certification thingy through campus which is pretty damn stupid for someone who never uses chemicals in her work, the intrepid student/mom sallies forth into the world to try to sort her life out. If, that is, she can get away from the overdue vital email exchange with one of her readers that seems to be suddenly crucial to her submission deadline...

F********************************CK!

away

I have to run off to campus today, which is not exactly something I want to do right now, but having errands may be for the best, really. I have to pick up a marked draft of chapter one, so I can spend the weekend doing more cuts. Yay!

Huh?

I am a low-income mother and PhD student without financial help from mommy and daddy. So what is this bullshit about the grad students association judging me for their bursaries based on my "extra-curricular activities"? And what would those be? When?

And judging by the fact that some of the current GSA big-wigs were like 2nd or 3rd year doctoral students when I started here five long years ago, I'd say they should try to reconsider their own priorities as students.

Wilfrid Laurier High

Got an email today that says that the office the teaching assistants were using for our office hours last term is no longer available. We only had it last term because one faculty member was gone for the year - now they are warehousing a limited hire there for the term. It is completely disappointing and underwhelming to go to a school where money is made through the use of tutorials and TAs, which requires us to hold office hours, but which is so cramped and pitiful it doesn't even have a real shared space we can book for student consultation. Now, I face either using the tiny study space we share with all the grad students in the building, or use the prof's office. Alternatively, I am thinking of just sitting in the Second Cup for an hour a week, as that seems just as private as the shared study space, but a bit less mind numbing.

Between the skimpy teaching staff, the cheap-assed funding, and the cramped quarters, I admit to being disheartened by my university. Undergrad schools that do not have the money or space for grad programs should just be happy with their underclassmen. This rush to grad programs not only over extends schools, but lures grad students to a pit of poverty-stricken despair.

An old prof has asked if she can give my email to a couple people who are applying here for PhD... I will have to restrain my bitterness, but I really can't encourage them. Better to go somewhere with the resources.

Like offices.

*Holocaust Survivor Speaker*

Holocaust Survivor Pinchas Gutter is coming to tell his story of survival to WLU & UW students.

Everyone is welcome to attend this event.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
7:00pm - 8:30pm
BA209 (Bricker Academic Building), WLU

Ugh. Campus.

Boo! I have to go to campus today to get something signed and to shift some library books around between some profs I work for, and to pick some stuff that came in for me for the dissertation. No telling what campus will be like, as it is now (shockingly) the last week of August! Possibly crawling with undergrads doing their reindeer games... though that might be next week, I hope. Well, at least the weather is supposed to be cool - the student business office has a lot of stairs, so no stroller means the carrier. And we get pretty nasty-sweaty in that thing on humid days.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Wish I could hide at home today.

However, duty calls, and duty knows no social anxiety disorder!

One is the Loneliest Number

Stuck on campus, waiting to go to hear a Holocaust survivor talk tonight. Really, though, when you are already bummed out, the prospect of such an event is kind of less than appealing. With luck, I'll get home tonight without throwing myself under a bus.

Things aren't too bad, really - but campus by yourself is hell. Groups of giggling tarts and guffawing jocks have a way of sucking the sparkle out of life, and WLU has an abundance of both varieties of chuckle-heads. The exam I was proctoring finished an hour early (screwing me out of $11); now I am stuck waiting until 7.30 with little purpose, so I can go and hear a talk that, although interesting (surely), is also likely to make my mood plummet even further.

There better be ice cream and something bright for me to watch when I get home... Otherwise, I think I feel a crying jag coming on.