Unveiling

Well, I had to submit my finalized title today, but without any warning I couldn't gather my thoughts quickly enough to re-think it, so I guess now I have to live with it.

And it is... *drum roll*

BUT WHERE WILL THEY BUILD THEIR NEST?
LIBERALISM AND COMMUNITARIAN RESISTANCE IN AMERICAN CINEMATIC PORTRAYALS OF JEWISH-GENTILE ROMANCES

So, there you have it.

And there's nothing I can do about it now.

(I feel so sick to my stomach.)

crappity

I need to pay my tuition, like ASAP. It was due on January 29th without penalty, but it's not the fee penalty I am worried about, but the fact that I can't push forward any of my paperwork until I pay, which sucks. I may not be able to defend in April, even though I will likely be ready, simply because I am about $1000 short on my tuition this term (if I can get the rest on credit).

I can't believe this.

Words of wisdom: Never, ever do a PhD without at least one of the following things - ridiculously exorbitant and pre-existing funding; wealthy and generous parents; independent wealth of your own source; and/or a well-heeled spouse.

PhDs would be a great thing to do after you retire, or as a hobby for pampered housewives. They are not wise for people just starting out in life. Clearly, I did it backwards.

Poop.

This is My Life...

I stand in front of the sink, hand-laundry soap furiously lathering a pair of 2T long johns. I scrub. And scrub. I rinse and wring. I hold them up, and ask myself, "Is that dirt, or part of the pattern?" I repeat the process, and consider them again. I then decide, either way, it is part of the pattern now, and move on to the socks.

Ain't life grand?

Lord of the Flies in Slippers

Ventured forth to the municipal indoor baby-preschooler play park today for the first time. What a nightmare! I spent 1/3 of my time soothing tantrums, and 1/3 of my time trying to stop tot from grabbing toys from other kids or trying to stop him from exacting revenge on kids who had raided him. The other 1/3 was spent praying his calm, fun playing would last.

Meanwhile, all the other parents sat around the edges chatting while they let their kids run wild.

So, am I that over-protective? I wasn't worried about him hurting himself, and he wasn't being physically rough with others, but I was really annoyed by his social behaviour. Yes, I know he's not yet 2, but I don't want him mugging 1-year-olds for their toys. My friend with me said that that's "just what kids do." Sure, he gets stuff taken from him, and he takes from others - just relax, as that is what playing in groups is about. Really? So, I guess I shouldn't care about him being a jerk, because being a jerk is just natural, huh?

See, this is why I put very little stock in him socializing with "normal" kids today.

OK. Time to decompress and try to get some stuff done.

Not enjoying mommyhood much today.

Jitters

I am losing my nerve about the dissertation. Coming down from the post-full-draft high, I am riddled with insecurities, and the strong possibility that this thing just plain sucks.

What is the point of it? What the hell was I trying to say, anyway? What does it all mean now? What is this giant pile of crap here, and what do I do with it now?

Freaking out, pretty much.

...

OK. Calm. Focus.

Just finish the damn thing.

...

CRAP. It's now the 29th. Tuition due today. No money. Now even less time to finish draft.

ARGH!

stymied

Ever have so much on your list to do you don't know where to start, or which way to go?

I am flustered. Big time.

But I gotta get going. Draft #2 is due on Feb 1, and if it doesn't look much different from Draft #1, I'm gonna get a lot of hairy eyeballs, re: that the hell have I been doing the past two months?

(Answer: Dick all, apparently.)

This draft has to be practically green-light ready, as the expectation is that Draft #3 will just be for sign off, and the feedback this time will largely just be suggestions for cuts; that is why I have only until Feb 26th to do that draft in. Generally, it was supposed that this past two months would be enough to make it pretty much done.

HAHAHAHA.

I laugh at my own over-inflated sense of time and ability.

OK. Just a few more days, and so very much left to do... Better get cracking.

I knew I shouldn't have slept last night. Bad choice, that.

blargh.

Spam FTF

"Learn the joy of having a huge hose."

My literal imagination is giddy with this one.

Sad Losses

Today, we mourn the death of Miramax, which has put out some of the better films produced over the past 31 years. So, we can all say the bum economy has truly hit us in a significant way... you know, in ways other than personal unemployment and hardships, etc.

We have also lost J.D. Salinger, writer and generational mind blower.

Also, R.I.P. Zelda Rubinstein. Walk towards the light, Zelda.

The world is a lot less cooler today.

Huh?

I am a low-income mother and PhD student without financial help from mommy and daddy. So what is this bullshit about the grad students association judging me for their bursaries based on my "extra-curricular activities"? And what would those be? When?

And judging by the fact that some of the current GSA big-wigs were like 2nd or 3rd year doctoral students when I started here five long years ago, I'd say they should try to reconsider their own priorities as students.

357

That's the current page number.

357.

357 pages in my dissertation.

And about five pages or so to be squeezed in, still.

The thing is now officially a monster.

The Fun of Life

Ever had the joy of trying to explain to a toddler that a Magic 8 Ball is a ball, but not a ball? And certainly not for bouncing?

I was this close to resorting to Platonic forms.

Now the Bad News

Well, Paper Heart has been achieved. A pseudo-documentary by Charlyne Yi seeking eternal truths about love, in which one eternal truth is delivered with resounding clarity: There is certainly such a thing as way too much Charlyne Yi.

*SPOILER*(Side note: This would have been a much better film had Charlyne and the "director" paired up in the end.)*SPOILER*

So, I have managed to treat myself to some new-ish movies, and am enjoying myself, but the trailers (which I normally do not watch, but was dumb enough to do so this time) have given me a few more to add to my "Missed in 2009" list:

• The Men Who Stare at Goats
• Extract

Getting the feeling here that I will never catch up.

Annie Hall: TNG

_

By comparing (500) Days of Summer to Annie Hall, I am not mocking either film. Far from it. Both are majestic in their humanity - of dreams gained and lost; of the consumption of love and what we do to our experiences in post-production. Annie Hall is a film I return to again and again; I have a feeling (500) Days of Summer will be likewise. Non-linear, but with a whimsical sense of fun that never falls into the cloying, (500) Days of Summer is a film that should not be missed.

I can only be relieved neither of the lead characters were Jewish - this film could have easily demanded chapter re-writes. I simply cannot say enough about it. When it ended, I wanted to re-start it. That should say enough.

Note to Self: Don't Call Mum

_

I made the mistake of calling my mum for her birthday today. Not wise.

After some greetings and such, I mentioned my hope of finishing in time to graduate in June, etc. Her response: "And then you'll have to worry about where to find a job."

Yes, mum, because a mother scraping to support herself and her child by herself might accidentally forget the crushing, desperate weight of her responsibility. Wouldn't that be a shame.

So, now, I feel the creeping sense of dread and depression that comes with such thoughts encroaching on the edges of my spirit again. With it comes the defeatism that nags, "Why bother finishing at all? We all know it's not going to be worth anything."

She felt badly afterwards, but the depression lingers.

With mothers being the way they are, who needs enemies?

Adventureland (2009)

_

Well, I finally broke down and hit the Blockbuster for some previously-viewed fun (see my list from Friday). I loaded up on hipster-rom-coms, with Adventureland, (500) Days of Summer and Paper Heart. After all that, I might end up shagging my hair and getting some grungy jeans with a grey hoodie. Maybe some white ear buds, too. It could be life-altering.

In any case, I finally saw Adventureland, which was one I have wanted to see for a while. Was I wrong? Not at all. I very much enjoyed Adventureland, and have no doubt that I will watch it again, and will show/lend it to others.

For those who have not seen it, Adventureland is set in a 1987 amusement park, in which a young university grad (Jesse Eisenberg) - who is a bit too nice to live in that world - seeks summer employment because his father's money issues have scuttled his hopes of Columbia grad school. Finding a resume of Renaissance lit and lawn mowing is not really pulling in the offers, this claptrap fair is about all he can get, and this is reflected in the ad hoc group of weirdos who have also taken refuge there.

The oddest thing about Adventureland is that I found myself constantly wondering how these "kids" were in bars; for some reason, my head was convinced they were all highschool grads, not college grads. Not many of them have an ounce of conventionally-measured maturity, not even the "grown up" maintenance man, played by Ryan Reynolds (who I have to admit I am finally warming up to a bit). But many of them do have heart; it's just hidden under disappointment. In the end, the film actually plays like a Punch Drunk Love for twentysomethings; a group of slightly-off people swimming in quiet desperation and various intense hatreds. But their issues are funny, so I guess it's acceptable, right?

It might not be great art, but, then, who says that is required of every film?

However, one thing it does have: Martin Starr. Where has this guy been since Freaks and Geeks, and why didn't I realize how much I missed him? Actually, he has been doing things since F&G, according to his IMDb, but I guess I didn't notice him; I have only a vague recollection of him in Knocked Up. Clearly, his roles over the past while have not been as startlingly effective for mounting for his talents as this one. I am reminded how much of a fan of this guy I really am. For that reason alone, it was worth seeing Adventureland, and I hope we get to see more of Starr, who, for me, was the real highlight (and centre of much of the drama and emotion) of this movie.

Adventureland predictable, falls into the ridiculous myth that pot is somehow an essential to transformative experiences, and commits that crime of first complicating relationship problems for drama only to over-simplify relationship problems for the conclusion, but it's still well worth watching.

So, I was correct on that one... Can't wait to see how I fare on the other two.

***
ETA: Adventureland was also worth adding to my dissertation, to beef up the 2009 film count! Happy happenstance. Gotta love that!

hiccup

Frantic exchange of emails with advisor - it seems I am in a position to do my public presentation in March, my defense in April, and get my final draft in by the May 3rd deadline to graduate on June 7th... Except for one snaffu. It seems I have missed the deadline to register for the public presentation this term, as the add date was Jan 17th. Thus, I may have to register for it for the spring term starting in May. RATS RATS RATS. I really hope this can be fixed, since I had asked my committee about this before but no one thought to mention it back to me until tonight.

If I get stuck for an extra term's tuition and have to miss my convocation in June because of this, I shall not be impressed, because if I end up not convocating in June, and then moving, I will not be returning here in October for some stupid piece of paper.

And, frankly, after all I have gone through, I think I deserve my bloody convocation.

Oh well - it'll all come out in the wash, I suspect.

Happy Birthday, to my Mum.

Although she doesn't surf the information freeway herself, I'd like to wish my mum a happy 42nd (*wink*) birthday today...

That would make her about 10 when I was born.

Way to go, Mum.

OUCH

Did some rough math and estimates, and it looks like the printing of my dissertation alone will cost at least $200... And heaven only knows how much binding the required five copies will run me.

I don't suppose the uni will take, "you want them, you bind them" as an answer, huh?

Well, I guess that's what I get for being so long winded.

(Will start digging around for handouts for this soon.)

Movies from 2009 That I Wish I'd Seen but Didn't

___

Being that movie theatres are forbidden to me now (toddler + lack of funds), I am stuck waiting for "previously enjoyed" sales to see anything new, and here's the crop of stuff I didn't see this past year (but wanted to).

(In no particular order.)

• Fantastic Mr Fox
• In the Loop
• The Road
• Coraline
• (500) Days of Summer
• Sherlock Holmes
• Adventureland
• The Invention of Lying
• Bright Star
• Crazy Heart
• My Sister's Keeper
• Whatever Works
• Away We Go
• Amreeka
• Le Concert
• My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done
  
• A Serious Man
• Up In The Air
• I Love You, Man
• Zombieland
• Adam
• Precious
• Cairo Time
• The Soloist
• The Lovely Bones
• Angels and Demons (Because Ewan-as-priest = yumma)
• The Young Victoria
• Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
• A Single Man
• An Education
• I Love You Phillip Morris

And whatever Michael Cera was in in 2009 (with the exception of Year One).

And I guess I should add Avatar to this list, though I have about a 7% desire to see it. I know it involves a series of blue cat-people.

I am sure there are many others, but those are the ones I specifically recall missing out on and have not yet seen by other means.

Do let me know if you think I wasn't missing much.

***

ETA: I did read the screenplay for A Serious Man. HAHAHA... How incredibly sad is that? I am reminded of: "I've been reading a lot of scripts lately. You know, it's a lot cheaper than going to the movies." (Can you place that quote without Google?)

Edits in Progress for Feb 1:

Thought I'd share a glimpse into the final editing for the second draft:

• Check all margins, paginations, formatting, etc.
• Proof-read works cited and filmography
• Edit/proof all footnotes
• Verify citations
• Re-vamp intro, taking out rel studies as a discipline crud and putting in Jewish image through the ages stuff
• Develop link between Jewishness and ethnicity
• Look at Frederick Barth, re: ethnicity definition
• Trim/cut/reduce (as much as possible!)
• Start glossary
• Consider timeline appendix suggestion
• Add Berger to hist chap - make link between history and film analysis
• Make the stats section "more narrative"
• Include genre chap and conclusion in filmography
• Expand film notations
• Discuss Greenblum (1995) in preface
• Fix bits in yellow highlight
• Skim all notes, etc, to check for useful forgotten stuff
• Add footnote on Israeli Haredi issues to Price Above Rubies section
• Add Wartenberg (1999) to communitarian section
• Add footnote on authorship and community of Jubilees
• Take Philo and Josephus out and put in footnotes
• Develop Temple purity ideal; use Mary Douglas here... Steal from MA?
• Look at Chas. Taylor again
• Jewish performative elements for intro?
• Anthro theory on "family" for page 181
• Add 50 First Dates to lib chap (chaos section)
• Add Annie Hall to wild oats section (Comm chap)
• Fix all the remaining minor notes
• Meeting next week (to get yet more notes, I'm sure)
• Consider advisor's feedback from Jan 20th conclusion submission
• Re-read (aloud?) and proof all
• Send out, Feb 1

... Now is that too much to ask...?

Sent Off

Well, the new conclusion has been sent to the advisor, so now all I have left are some edits and revisions on the other chapters. Still quite a bit to do before the 1st, but I'm well on my way to having the second draft in the can on time.

Now, for some sleep...

I've Been Watching too Closely Again

I think the over-abundance of tot-films these days have started to rot my brain a little.

I am personally offended by the fact that Harry Potter ends up with Ginny "Dull As Dish Water" Weasley. So disappointed in him for being so average and going for bland cardboard in a world where's there's Luna. I mean, Luna! WTF? I guess he wanted to be part of that family more than he wanted an interesting life. Personally, then, I would have gone with George.

Also, I am becoming extremely anti-Mr Potato Head, in terms of never wanting Dec to have one. Why? Because I can't stand that little jerk on Toy Story - so much so, I now hate the product itself. I realize this is completely irrational, but such is life. That guy's a total ass.

Also, I continue to be annoyed by the fact that Tigger never, ever gets the comeuppance he deserves. On this, I'm firmly with Rabbit.

Birthday Update

So, I now have amassed a big box of coloured chalk, a box of crayons, some craft pads of various ilk, some new dinos for the collection and some assorted little odds and ends, so I think I am done as far as my play-things shopping for the tot's b'day - I am still hopeful that I can afford new rain gear and find a big set of plastic magnet letters for his easel, but I am otherwise generally done for presents.

Now comes the challenge of how to finance a b'day party on less than a shoestring...

Fingers Crossed and Re-Crossed

Applied for a marking gig today - only 38 hours over the term, but beggars seriously can't be choosers. Here's hoping!

A new fav, Demotivational Posters - always good for a laugh.

D-Day: February 26th, 2010

A date so nice, I say it twice:

February 26th, 2010.

(AKA. The Friday before tot's second birthday, so as to avoid conflicts. I'm smart!)

This is the day I have targeted for having my third, and, therefore, final draft of the dissertation sent to my advisory committee. It is possible there will still be minor tweaks after that, but that will basically be the pre-defence draft that gets sent to the university dissertation examining committee in March after my three supervisors all read it and sign off on it.

This prospect both fills me with joy and with dread. It is also entering the realm of the bland, since it will never have the fire works I mentally feel it should.

That day, I will email off the draft. I will make three meals that day, change some diapers, read the news, call my mum, yadda yadda yadda... Really, nothing special, but, then, anything short of Roman candles and it will feel so much less exciting than the beginning of the end of a five year odyssey should.

Sigh. Such is life.

At least I have some toddler b'day shenanigans to enjoy that weekend. That shall have to suffice.

So very close...

Blue Monday

So, according to the news, today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year.

As for me, my new conclusion is in the can, in rough, and I am on my way to submitting it to my advisor soon, and I just today realized I am less than a month and a half away from being completely done the written work on my dissertation (barring any emergencies - FEB 26th BABY!), so I am not feeling very depressed at all.

I think I opt not to allow a marketing ploy choose my moods for me, thanks.

Have a great day!

Martin Luther King Day

Love is in the Air

For the past three nights, my street has been haunted by one of the worst annoyances known to human kind - a hot-to-trot, unaltered male cat. For three nights, as I toil in the dark, I have to listen to the mournful, vowelled cries of a tom who just can't get no satisfaction.

"MORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-RAUUUUUUUU!"
(Translated: "I WANT IT BAAAAAAAAAAAD!")

Between that and the lovely eau-de-horny-cat-piss hanging in the atmosphere, it's a grand time on my street this weekend.

I can only hope it'll be done soon, or desperation might force me into action. More semi-rational ideas involve pinning a note to the cat's collar begging the irresponsible humans who own him to either fix him or leave him the hell inside at night. Less reasonable thoughts have me seemingly inspired by Warner Bros and involve a keg of TNT dressed up as as slutty female kitty.

Afterall, a bucket of cold water just seems cruel in January.

All-Nighter Tip

How to stay up late without getting the jitters:
- Lemon grass tea with Indian black tea and corn flowers; brewed stiff, and mixed with cool water.
- One large glass of cold Coke.
- Huge jug of very cold water.
- Red licorice.
- Bag of salted almonds.

This little troop relief package has been saving me the last while, since the tot refuses to sleep before 10pm, leaving me up writing that much later. The perfect balance of salt and sweet, and refreshing and strong... without the paranoia that comes with coffee.

Oh, and make sure you decant the treats into bowls early on, so as to avoid bag-crinkle unpleasantness, such as waking a curious toddler who is wondering what mum is up to.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Bummer

Ever try typing with a taped middle finger? It sucks.

Oh well, life could be worse - Jay Leno could want my apartment.

Stiff Middle Digit

I think I may have broken the middle finger on my right hand. I'm not sure, though - the pain is fairly bad, but I am regaining the motion in it, so it might just be a sprain.

Trying to exit the crowded bus yesterday with strapped-on-baby, I barely made it to the door as it was shutting; shooting out my hand, I jammed by finger up against the window ledge. Very painful at the time, but it's gotten so much worse over night, and is now puffy and stiff.

It does not make typing easier. :(

Toddler Coma

Tot fell asleep on the way home from campus (on the crowded bus), and is now still out so deeply that I just had to check his lips for warmth and breath.

(He slept through one very crowded/noisy bus ride, exiting the bus, waiting for another, boarding and exiting another bus, walking into our building and down to our apartment, getting decanted out of the sling onto the bed, having his boots/hat/mittens removed, and being covered with a blanket.)

Man, I wish I could sleep like that.

Cute but Chilling

Tot had a blast running around in my slippers this evening, and now I can't find them. I have to admit, he was pretty frigging adorable... too bad my toes are frozen half off as a result.

Also, the sticky little handprint in the middle of my monitor is a nice touch.

Ah... Sometimes, you just gotta love mommihood.

I Will Survive... Basically, Because I Have To

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.

~Marion C. Garretty

Shite

Well, my pay tomorrow turns out to be about $400 less than I had hoped. So there goes paying March's rent with it.

Now I have a month and a half to figure out how to pay rent without an income, while (yet again) avoiding getting kicked out of school for not paying tuition AND feeding a child...

So, yeah - no birthday for tot this year. And doesn't that make me feel like a great parent?

So much wrong in life.

This Week's Life Lesson

Never, ever work at the same company as Jay Leno.

Or, if you do, make sure you have lots of knife-slice-sized bandages for your back.



(While I cannot stand that sycophantic herpes outbreak on the keyboards on Dave's show, I don't have much against Dave himself - and on this one, I have to admit, he's funny.)

Drowning

Being as how I can't really get any work done at night, since tot is back to resisting sleep and by the time he finally succumbs I am dead, I have been trying to get up early to get some things done. No such luck.

About 7 this morning, I was in washing my hands in the bathroom, when a noise outside the door scared the wits from me - there was one sleepy, pajama-clad elf, in his toque (not sure why he felt the hat necessary), scolding me for being out of bed. Thus endeth the work for today.

So, when exactly am I supposed to get work done?

Evidently, the easiest way to get him up early is to not want him to wake early, and I can't work at night because of sheer exhaustion. And during the day, he is too busy very-nearly-cracking his skull to go for very long without my constant attention - and when I sit at the computer, his new favourite thing is to sit on the desk in front of the monitor, which is not really conducive to thoughtful writing or editing.

I must admit that I'm freaking out a bit. And regretting that I lost my nerve and couldn't bring myself to put him in daycare. But what the hell am I supposed to do? Deadlines are looming large... I am so close, yet so very far.

Seriously S.O.L.

Post-Script: I shall just have to suck it up and do without sleep.

44 Incredible Seconds

Created by Oatmeal

Calm... Calm... Calm...

.

Grocery trip ended in tot "helping" me put away the groceries.

This resulted in:
- One broken-into tub of banana chips.
- Two chewed up waxed wheels of cheese.
- Three lost veggie crackers.
- One bunch of bananas trod upon in mid-tantrum (his).
- One partially thawed bag of once-frozen veggies.

And, the coup de grâce:
- One jar of pasta sauce shattered on the kitchen floor, which set off a chain reaction of one kitchen mat in the garbage, one mommy hiding in the bathroom to recompose herself (and wishing she was a drinker), and a major spike in the likelihood of finding tomato splatters in odd places for the next six months.

Calm. Calm. Calm...

Conclusion

So, any advice on how to write (or, in my case, re-write) a dissertation conclusion?

Length? Style? Function? Sections? Points?

For some reason, this thing just refuses to come together.

Very frustrating.

Disgusting

I was googling for advice and pointers on producing an ideal dissertation conclusion chapter - what points I should make, the ideal length, policies on introducing new matter in the conclusion, what writing style is best, etc.

What I found in the first few hits were, in fact, sites that SELL PEOPLE DISSERTATIONS. I am not talking about frosh buying 5 page papers on the meaning of Paradise Lost here, though that is bad enough - but sites that sell complete dissertations! WTF? And the point of getting a PhD would then be what?

Humans are a foul species. We are given brains and opposable thumbs, only to do this with them.

Ugh. Now I will be looking at every new PhD holder I meet with a jaundiced eye.

Disgusting.

HURRY HARD!

Feeling a little bruised from forcing myself into work tonight. Nothing is flowing easily, and I feel all blocked up. Perhaps it is because, mentally, I feel ready to be done this dissertation, so cajoling my brain into coming up with more on the topic is like pulling up tree stumps.

I admit defeat tonight, however; while I managed to write a few bits and pieces, I think I'd better spend a bit of time just doing some extra on-topic reading, in the hopes that I feel more like it tomorrow.

Tonight, it feels like the squid is simply out of ink.

Oh Bother!

Huh. Now that I got time to write, I find myself completely blocked and without motivation. WTH?

Relief (Hope I'm Not Jinxing Anything)

Tot was down for the count by 10 last night, and by 9.15 tonight! Could we be coming out of this phase? Possibly. I hope.

So, now down to work.

To the Pink

*


There's an interesting "cultural history" of the colour pink in today's Globe and Mail, which, in part, investigates why we slather girls in pink from their first breath.

I personally abhor the practice, both as a female who had to endure pink gifts from relatives (not from my own blessed parents, who very early on understood my dislike for the colour), but also as a parent who cannot understand the heavy hand people use in gendering small children.

Pink, while actually a fairly pretty colour, represents so much more than a rosy hue - it is the crass market's way of categorizing future consumers.

However, it should not be assumed that boys are void of such things; while I have nothing against blue, personally, some aggressively-"masculine" clothing items for boys go far too far. For example, camouflage on an infant, being that it represents the governmental use of violence, inspires revulsion in me.

(Children should not be raised as mini-soldierbots in the making; I live in constant hope that the days of "dolce et decorum est" will end.)

When will people come around to the idea that a baby knows what/who it is as it grows, no matter what colours are on its back? Why continue this socially acceptable mimicry of Crips Vs Bloods through the gender gang warfare between blue and pink?

And, as a side note, when on earth did the Valtrex Queen Paris Hilton become a "role model" for little girls? The mind (and the stomach) reels.

Sleep Issues

I know it's a phase all toddlers go in and out of, but this recent sleep strike thing the tot is going through is literally driving me nuts. He refuses to stay still and lie down, forcing himself to stay awake until he passes out some time between 10 and midnight. Then this morning, he decided to get up at 5am! He naps fairly well, but shorter than normal. The result is a tired, cranky and bleary eyed baby... and a shagged out mom, with very little time to do her work. It's driving me mental!

Still, everything I read on toddler behaviour tells me not much can be done but waiting it out, while maintaining strict bedtime rituals and hoping for the best. Meanwhile, my second draft deadline is looming ever-closer.

Baby boarding school looks better and better all the time.

Some More Random Thoughts

I know, my posts have been pretty short recently, which could be a good or bad thing. I will try to stay focused enough for longer posts at some point in the future.

However, in the meantime, some things in my head:

- It's pretty frigging cold right now. (Yet, still better than the past week.)

- I'd love to order pizza tonight, but am still boycotting the best pizza resource due to their crazy (rude, incompetent, possibly criminal) Magyar delivery dude. Consumer power is hard.

- It totally sucks that telemarketers can call me and wake up the baby for absolutely no good reason, without any punishment.

- Pride and Prejudice rocks. It always has and always will.

That is all for now.

How to Tell Your Folks Have Gone Slightly Round the Bend

Just called my mum. She couldn't talk right now, and asked me to call back later.

She was busy making porridge for the dogs.

...

C'Mon and Say Howdy!

Inventory Taken

I just did a thorough needs assessment for the second draft of the dissertation, due on Feb 1... Yikes.

I still have a ton to do, but I must say I feel ok about it all.

PhD or bust!

shocker

Google offered me nothing of value when I searched for "magical solution to all of my problems."

When will technology give me what I ask for?

No More. I'll Be Good. I Swear!

I won't go into any gross details, but never, ever eat a huge salad made only of raw bean sprouts. Your guts (and other parts) will never forgive you.

Oy.

Further Thoughts on Birthday No. 2

I think I have decided to finally redo the back room into a playroom for tot's birthday, and, as part of this, I will concentrate any spending (other than rain gear and new undies) on storage. Once a baby is loaded up with toys, I guess toy boxes, storage bins, etc, are the next logical step.

I also think I have convinced my folks to stick to the toy box my dad is making - without filling it with toys themselves. He's making a nice, sturdy pine toy box, with rope handles, in a plain stain (so it won't go out of date when the tot turns to teen, you see). He wants to make it so it can be used as a bench or seat, as well.

I will also be converting his crib to a toddler bed, with the new quilt my folks have for him. But don't tell him, as I am sure he won't like that part.

In the meantime, I simply have to find out a way to start shifting stuff around without him being up my nose through the entire process.

Much, much easier to type than do.

Birthday No. 2

I need suggestions for the tot's second birthday - gifts, and something to do for the "party." I was actually thinking of doing something not-at-home this year for his birthday, partly because I am pretty sick of being at home right now. I have just under two months to consider it, so we'll see.

As to gifts, he really doesn't need much. I was considering making a contribution to his education fund, and then getting him a pack of plastic dinos or something. I know, it sounds cheap and un-fun, but the kid is really already toyed up. Seriously. (Plus, I will have no luck, whatsoever, convincing the Grands that he needs no more toys, so I will have to accommodate their contributions then, as well.)

This year, I think there is a blanket "no toys" rule - art supplies, maybe, and books, but I don't consider them "toys." DVDs/CDs are nice, small and useful. Clothes are always welcome, especially for spring/summer, which is just around the corner. I will be getting him his first pack of "big boy" undies for his birthday, I am certain of that.

Largely, I am thinking about a rain jacket and a sou'wester, which may not sound exciting, but are things he really needs - plus, he loves hats and things, so he has a bit of an odd definition of "exciting."

Any suggestions?

I Do it for the Lulls

So bored, lonesome, depressed, down-hearted, etc., today. I know it's a passing phase, but it still stinks. Cabin fever is getting to me, and I am at the point where I just want to sleep for lack of anything better to do. I would shop, but, being unemployed, that isn't a good idea. I would take another bath, but my skin is already like parchment, so no dice there.

Sure, I have work to do, and cleaning to do, etc, but nothing enjoyable to do, and nothing to do out of the house.

OK. Thus endeth the whining.

The Wrath of Grapes

Last night, I bought a bag of grapes for our New Years treat. I washed one of the bunches, and put them in a strainer, meaning for a handful of them for my toddler's dessert. Halfway through dinner, I went to the kitchen for something, returning to find that Slick Eddie had pulled a fast one. He had gotten out of his chair, was sitting on the table, and had eaten the whole damn bunch.

So, today, we are living through a bad case of Grape Revenge, i.e. the poops. Nothing to do but wait them out, I guess. Poor little guy.

Well, everyone has to learn about moderation at some point in their lives, I guess.

Can't sleep. :(

Well, Not Impressed So far, 2010

I have a headache that just won't go down, no matter how much Ibuprofen I dump on it. I was woken up at 12.30am by a bunch of yahoos having a shouting match outside my window (gotta love living on the basement level), and I have heartburn like you wouldn't believe.

I expect better from you, 2010. Soon.