down

I'm fighting it, but I can feel the blues settling into my bones. Sadly, however, I don't have the luxury of lying around in bed all day wallowing in my depression, so I am forcing a smile, forcing some manner of give-a-damn, forcing myself to do what I need to do to keep this home afloat. I know everything that eats at me is my own damn fault - but that realization doesn't exactly make me feel any better.

What the hell am I going to do?

ETA: I think I might be working around the time issues on the Ohio app, which has improved my mood a bit. My application would be in on time, but I might be able to get the letters to the school separately, just maybe not on time for "full consideration." Better than not trying at all, perhaps. Worth a shot, at least. Still, I wish I had found this post a month ago. sigh.