Upon arriving on campus today, I ran into one of my classmates from my killer Islam class last term (the one that, instead of delving into Islamic theology, which would be hard enough, focused on Foucault, the creation of modernity and the construction of secularism). I mean, this class was a KILLER – as in I almost died. Anyway, this classmate told me that the papers, with our final grades in the course, were in our mailboxes. Anxiously, I paced the hallways outside the office to go check my box. Finally, after hearing horror story after horror story about what could possibly be awaiting me, the secretary returned and I got to my mailbox. Nothing! I was the only one without a paper waiting for me.
Yikes, I thought. Nothing good can come from this. I knew the paper wasn’t stellar, but I didn’t think it would be awful enough to require quarantine!
Biting my nails, I tried to remain calm and not think the worst. Hard enough for anyone, but, left to my own devices, I can come up with some horrible scenarios… The most likely one involved the dean, the prof, and my supervisor in her office right now planning my expulsion, or at least my probation. In any case, I was certain I was dead meat. Worse: Dead Meat without Funding.
As I was checking my online transcript one last time, and half listening to a classmate who was trying to calm me down, who should come to my office but the prof. I panicked, but tried to look welcoming.
The first thing out of her mouth? “Congratulations!” And it was without sarcasm! She had waited to give it to me because she wanted to give me some pointers on the paper in person before she left for sabbatical. It seems that I have produced a paper on post-Enlightenment power relations and the creation of “The Jew” that warrants re-writing and possibly publication! At the very least, with revisions, I appear to have produced a methodologies chapter for my dissertation. MY FIRST CHAPTER, DONE IN DRAFT! Three years early!
I can’t breathe… Allah, I love you… Holy Manhole Covers! I have survived the first term of PhD, and managed to impress the last prof on earth I ever pictured myself impressing! I was hoping for a pass, a B+ or higher so I could keep my funding… Nothing like this.
Hell, at this point, I even love Foucault.
So, maybe I won’t be quitting school, after all…
4 comments:
Huzzah on you, Holls! Isn't publishing one of your new resolutions?
Yes, indeed!
The biggest thing I get from this is the knowledge that I am not actually an idiot! I was so uncertain about everything until I got some sort of confirmation. An A in that class certainly qualifies as confirmation!!!
CONGRATULATIONS! You are a wonder!
Now all I have to do is make sure that this doesn't reinforce bad habits. I'll have to remember how anxious I was over this whole thing, and actually start my papers more than a week before they are do this term...
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