My office has several empty bookshelves, while I am stacking stuff on the floor at home. If there is a G-d and he is essentially good, and if he provides, then why are bookshelves so unequally distributed amongst his children?
Why do educators blame TV for the decline in literacy, when it clearly started in ancient times? This is clearly seen by the fact that the New Testament is only half the size of the Hebrew Bible.
Is it just me, or is the whole philosophy of humanity embedded in “You Spin me Right Round, Baby”?
If one of the essential questions of mankind is “What is the sound of one hand clapping,” why are my comprehensive exams six hours long, each?
Why are there forty thousand different prayers for intercession, but not a single one is dedicated to getting me help with my case of cat scratch fever?
If the meek shall inherit the earth, why do the bold and the terrible drive better cars?
Why can people not see that the salvation of mankind rests in disco music? Three faiths fight to the death over Jerusalem, but I never heard of one fatality over the stewardship of Funkytown.
Why is the Bible filled with prescriptions for extensive purification rites after such messy business as sex or childbirth, but it doesn’t contain a single word of advice on how to get gravy out of a shirt front?
The question that haunted man in the 18th century was: Does G-d exist? The question that haunted him in the 19th century was: Why are we here? Was the question that haunted humanity in the 20th century “What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkety sound?”?
Why do scholars of religion go on and on about the “interfaith dialogue,” but not one suggests the “interfaith cage-match”?
Finally, if, as Ninian Smart suggested, the study of religion “is delicate and has a sensitive soul; and as such it represents a great achievement,” then why do we offer undergraduate classes in the subject? Further, and more damning, why do we let football players enroll in said classes?
One can get multiple degrees in religion, yet the topic is never so lucid as when you are studying on campus late at night, high on Gobstoppers and V-8 vegetable juice…
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