I More than Love You. I Lurve You.

Well, the prof confirmed that I do, indeed, have an extra day for that killer paper. An extra day! Christ, it’s like a new lease on life. Suddenly, I can taste food again. I see stars dancing on the ceiling; I hear music wherever I go… (Note to myself: I think I’ll schedule a CAT scan for right after the holidays.)

I take back everything I ever said about that prof. Peace and goodwill to all mankind, just in time for Christma-Hannu-Kwanzaa!

And Catherine comes Thursday night, so I’m excited. (Except for the fact that I have no idea where I will get time to clean the place and avoid the embarrassment of having a guest see how I live.)

You know, it just feels so much more like the holidays to have people over. It turns our dingy little student apartment into the Walton farmhouse. Ma and Pa waiting on the porch with a roast turkey, and lights every where. Oranges in every stocking. Emmy out in the barn combing the holiday pig and rubbing him down with butter for the traditional Yuletide luau.

I’ve got to run to K-Mart to get a Red Rider BB gun for Catherine! A pink bunny PJ set for Christine. Something chicken related for Fritz, and some simulated bacon crap for Lumper. There’s my list!

But, wait!

My G-d. I’m having Gentiles for Christmas… What the hell does one do for that??

Can anyone recommend a good website for the care and feeding of Goys?

(I kid. I lurve you all!)