Monday, December 05, 2005

I Was the Wise Man Who Brought Misanthropy.

Holy Jeesh!

If there is a hell it is one long line up at a coffee shop where you can clearly hear the vapid musings of fifty of your co-hominids. Did you ever notice how cows take less time to consider their salt lick than some co-eds take to order their iced candy cane lattes???

From here on, let this proclamation go forth!

The following words and sentiments are to be forthwith stricken from human tongues:

“Oh, I, like, totally loooove Christmas, you know?”
“Oh, yeah? Oh, well me, too! I, like, totally looove Christmas, too!”
“I know. It’s, like, so totally great, you know?”
“I know.”


And so on…

So, I don’t wish you a merry Christmas, alright? I wish you pestilence, fear, and anger… And a total and immediate realization of your own uselessness! Is that plain enough for you? Or do I have to add a “like” somewhere in there?

Now, just give me my goddamm coffee and let me go.

2 comments:

Amanda said...

You're like, totally three inches away from throwing punches!

H. said...

But the main question of life is: Will my body fat count today allow me to have whipped cream, as well??

That's what it comes down to, man.

Feeling better, but, yes, still close to throwing punches. Good thing yesterday was the last day of undergrad classes, so the campus has reverted back to grad student and faculty hands.

I'm not sure how much longer I could have held out...

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