Oh please, oh please, oh please?
Today, the smell of damp leaves on the ground represented the first small, slight glimmer of hope that this accursed season may finally be drawing to its bitter end, racing towards the finish line on the unwanted and diseased last limb that is August. FINALLY.
Summer has gone on far, far too long. Any more weeks ahead of me spent in the drudgery of isolated summer toil and my brain would certainly break once and for all. As it is, I am systematically alienating every single person I know, as well as my cat, with my horrid mood spasms and moaning complaints.
Should summer not end on time, I will most likely make the final descent into madness, and will be found traipsing around Waterloo Park with my knickers on my head, evading the men with the long nets.
So, summer, if you could just die, that would be super. And fall, please hurry up.
Oh, and while I am at it, Mother Nature, if you could convert mosquitoes to vegetarianism, that would be great (for humanity is too much to hope for), and paint all snails in glow-in-the-dark orange, I would really appreciate it.
Thanking you in advance,
Holly
*
5 comments:
Um, resident scientist here...
Mosquitos ARE vegetarian. The females suck blood to use it to rear their young.
As far as I know.
It just makes it that little bit more creepy!!!
Well, in that case...
1) Mother Nature: NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
2) Can't they raise their kids on pancake syrup?
3) Anything that even sucks on blood defies my definition of vegetarian.
4) Well, let's change the word "vegetarian" in my plea to "kosher."
5) Ewwwwwwwww.
See? It both pays and embarrasses to have scientists hanging about.
May I just say that the thought of kosher mosquitoes makes me laugh? Ha ha, Jewish bugs!
I guess that is possible... Except for *wasps*.
Lord. Bad pun. That one had some *sting* to it.
Oh, man! I can't stop them now.
Arrrrgggghhhhh!
Sure sign of fall is NFL training camp. It's on like donkey kong.
Hey! That means the OTHER big fall sport will be starting, thanks to Global Warming: Betting on how many of those drug-bloated bohunks will die of heat exhaustion during training!
Heaven help us all.
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