The Archeological Find of the Century

I sent John off to work again tonight, and, as is our habit now, we took a walk to the park on the way to the bus stop. While walking along the creek, between bouts of defending myself from mosquito attacks, I happened to look down at an opportune moment.

A glint of something gold just happened to flash at me. Gold? I stopped, for I surely was a magpie in a previous life. Maybe a treasure? There was a moment of willies, as I worried about what it could be… Lost jewelry? That can only mean one thing. If Law and Order has taught me anything, couples strolling through parks have the unfortunate habit of finding corpses, and the last thing I needed was to trip into a crime scene.

But curiosity won, and I nudged the gold thing with my toe…

Flash, flash, flash. Twinkle.

Against my better instincts, I picked the thing up. Almost as quickly, I dropped the thing in freaked-out disgust.

I had found… A pimp tooth!

A cheap, gold pimp tooth.

Oh! The skin ripples in memory.

How do I know what it was? Well, it was tooth-sized, tooth-shaped, tooth-coloured (in a way). Maybe it wasn’t pure gold, as I think it was peeling, but it had a thing on it that looked like it was geared up to linking with a bridge-work thingy. I’m afraid that’s all the details I have, as I didn’t hang around much to look.

It is a well known fact that where there are pimp teeth, there may well be pimp diseases!

Now, I don’t know much about the history of the area, and my archaeology classes were a whole long time ago, but chances are I had not found evidence of an ancient pimp civilization here, but the material traces of something quite unpleasant…

Maybe this place isn’t Mayberry, after all.

What did I do? Nothing, really. I dropped it, shuddered, and kept on. Perhaps the owner would be back to look for it. I certainly wouldn’t want to be around to deliver it to him. My guess would be that an unpleasant fellow with a less-than-fully-pimped grill would not be a fun person to run into.

My, my. The excitement to be found in even the sleepiest town’s seedy underbelly!

I may stroll through a different park tomorrow.