Red Tape Makes for a Blue Christmas

I am sitting here with a cup of coffee and my traditional winter-weather cream of wheat (despite the fact that this December has been unnaturally warm), and combing through immigration laws and processes. My eyes are blurring over all the terms... "How many types of temporary resident visa are there?"

I have been tight lipped about something, because I didn't want to shock anyone or jinx anything, but I feel that all this blog depression deserves some explanation.

Murph, the fellow who was turned back at the border for reasons unknown except for the fact that he did not have a return bus ticket on him (it seems an angry border official forgot that Americans can, in fact, stay in Canada legally for up to six months as long as they caused no trouble), and I are engaged to be married.

We met over the internet, and had become so head over heels over each other that marriage, though something of a quick decision on our part, was the only course of action we wanted. There was no "wait and see" for us. This was permanent, and we knew it. We decided that he would come up here and live for a little while, and maybe around his birthday in February we would get married. No real rush, we figured, since I had my exam and he wanted to see Canada and meet my friends before we tied that proverbial knot.

So, after many upsetting, traumatic and inconvenient things, Murph finally made it to Canada in November, and we spent a month learning that living together was a very nice thing.

But then Murph had to go back to Ohio for a week. It was an annoyance, but there was nothing that could be done, so I sent him off via Greyhound back to the States.

However, when his week was up, on an overnight bus back to Canada, our world rather collapsed. The border was shut to Murph, who didn't want to do anyone any harm, and who just wanted to get back to where he considered to be home. We had planned on starting immigration processes in January, and marry in February, but we were too late.

Last week, all our plans looked like they were going to fall around our ears. Cross border couples experience a lot of indecision at times like this. What if it takes years for us to be together? Can we survive this stress? Should we go ahead and get married, knowing that we may not actually get to live together for some time?

Well, Murph and I have decided that, border or no, we do know what we want. So it is up to us to figure out how to make a life together possible, and it is up to Canada to hear our case and let us live that life. If Canada stands in my way, though I love it, I will leave it. So, we have a deadline. In 2009, when I get my PhD, I will make a decision: If Canada will not let us be here, I will seek a life in the United States. Those of you who know me will see how much this ultimatum hurts me to make, but I feel I have no other choice.

So, in a couple weeks, after my doctoral exam, I will be traveling to Ohio to see Murph, and we will make a trip to the county justice of the peace to do what we set out to do. We will get married, and, either now or years from now, we will be together. This is a stressful thing, but one we feel we must face for the reward in the long run.

So, this holiday season, hug your loved ones tight, and know you are lucky to be able to do that. And enjoy.


(If you have any advice on American-Canadian-Immigration issues, or any immigration law or process, please leave a comment or email me, as we are currently gathering as much information as we can to make this work. We will update as things progress. Thus begins Operation Bring Murph Home. Wish us well.)
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