"When are you coming, cherie?"

The embarassment of having to ask a series of 19 year old video store clerks if they have the movie Green Card (1990) on DVD, and that uncomfortable pause after the question falls, cannot be fully described. The only thing in my mind was that scene from High Fidelity where the guy comes into the hipster vinyl store and asks if they have "I Just Called to Say I Love You" for his daughter. Yeah, that embarassing, only this is Canada so no one yelled.

I guess people have made Green Card jokes at me enough since Murph's immigration hassles started that it worked its way into my brain and now won't let go. I can't explain it - I just have a hankering. There is this restless desire to see that film again. Some people get odd food cravings when sulky - I get film cravings. (Yet, I am still chubby - go figure!)

But this film can't be gotten for love or money - even Amazon takes 14 days to ship the thing out (and it would likely arrive while I am in the States, so that is a no-go). They say porn is so easily available for downloading online because people are embarassed to buy it in a shop. However, this blush-enducing schmaltzfest is not even stealable. It has been deemed non-steal-worthy. So even pervs have more solace in their cravings than I do.

All I want is a little Gerard Depardieu and a little weep. Is that so hard to understand?

I am not a monster! I am a human being, dammit!
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