Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Academically and Professionally Castrated


Or is that just un-endowed to begin with?

Am having a major resurgence of the old CV anxiety. Madly crawling the net looking for anything (conferences, calls for papers, journal submission shots, essay contestsANYTHING) that might add a line to the poor, anemic resume.

I am completely dickless, professionally speaking, and I would rather set my own hair on fire than to ever set foot on campus or at a department function, ever again… And I have to do both this coming week!

Competitor 1: “What are you doing this weekend?”
Competitor 2: “Solving the problems in the Middle East, and then addressing Harvard.”
Comp. 1: “I may pop round to chair, should I get finished the Princeton thing early.”
Comp. 1: “What are you doing, Holly?”
Holly:Mhihgsnnifioj – cough.”
Comp. 2: “Pardon?”
Holly: “Eating beans out of a can and watching Catch-22 until this world makes sense?”
Comp. 1 & 2: (Pause) “Haw haw. Oh yes, ra-ther! Good one.”
(All walk a way, rolling eyes.)
Goody, goody.

4 comments:

running42k said...

It can't be that bad. Deep breathe and get on with it. You seem bright enough to hold your own.

H. said...

I'm sure it's not as a bad as I feel it to be... But the fact that I feel it as bad is bad enough, methinks.

hemlock said...

Ah yes... functions. I need to give a presentation to a bunch of academics on Thursday and I SO am not looking forward to it. I totally know how you feel.

Thanks for your kind words about my family issue, by the way.

H. said...

GOOD LUCK! (And thanks for the back-up.)

If the presentation is on your thesis work, just remember that NO ONE in the room is a better expert on your specific topic than you.

And that they all hate conferences as much as you do.

Thanks for dropping by - hang in there!

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