My Life as a Movie

Tonight I saw Life as a House. Now, I have checked on Rotten Tomatoes (see side bar), and I realize that this was branded a rotten tomato. The critics deemed it a schmaltzy soap opera. I recognize the fact that it was schmaltzy- George's abusive father was a "perfect" Hollywood touch out of a boardroom. Further, the cinematography was fairly bad, and the humour doesn't always work easily with the pathos, and things shouldn't have been as good in the end as it was for Sam and his suburban-zombie family. Sure, life doesn't get fixed as easily as a house. However, it does my heart good to see the rehearsal of happiness. You see, if we rehearse identities and try on different realities through film, then why not try on something like happiness? What a concept!

Maybe on another day I wouldn't have been touched, but tonight I was- and that meant something to me. For that I protest the rotten status. Schmaltz was good enough for Jimmy Stewart, so it's good enough for me.

Nevertheless, there is something I AM worried about. Christine's computer has an eerie power. We first recognized this power when we watched Bubba Ho-Tep on her comp, and Ozzy Davis (a crush from my childhood, I admit) was dead that weekend. This event was a strange coincidence, and we shrugged it off. However, when a few weeks later it killed Hunter S. Thompson when Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was played. Then, after a while, Joaquin Phoenix was injured while we were watching Clay Pigeons (if it had been for Ladder 49 I would have been grateful- THAT was true schmaltz!). Thus, we have to now admit that Christine's computer is trying to kill off all of my flavours of the month! Now, with Shattered Glass and Life as a House, Hayden Christensen must be warned.

For the love of Mary, Hayden, please go somewhere and hide in a room filled with cotton. Please, do it for me- don't let it kill again!

If a man at that age is done in next, I give up. I will then go out and get 20 hours each of Tom Hanks and Leo DiCaprio (press play and leave, as when you fumigate the house), and then the computer may work for good for a change!