Some True Pearls

These are the best of the worst answers on the last quiz written in the second year course on the Bible I TA for, which is filled with about 90 18-year-olds who all major in business and trying to get laid:

Tanakh: The Jewish equivalent to the Bible. (Ummmm... excuse me?)

586bc: The year somebody took Jerusalem all the way to Babylon.

Clement of Rome: Wrote something important.

Gnosticism: Light is good. Dark bad.

Dioynius Exiguus: Wrote Christian calendar with Jesus' birth starting at 0 and ending at 30.

Paleography: Things always being found by Bedouins. (Assume student is getting the study confused with what the study studies, if that makes sense.)

70ce: The year all the zealots were revolting.

Mishnah: A Jewish holiday.

Talmud: An old Rabbi.

Vulgate: The opposite of Sacred. (That one is a thinker - take a moment.)

The Uncontested Letters of Paul: The Gospel of John

Nag Hamadi: Not the Dead Sea Scrolls, I think.

Clement of Rome: Jewish king at one time, but then pope, somehow.

Talmud: The Protestant Bible. (huh??)

Tanakh: The Jewish word for Hebrew.

Clement or Rome: Wrote letters while being executed.

70ce: The year the Jews were phased out by Christians. (hurumph!)

Marcion: The guy who said "knowledge is power." (Wasn't that School House Rock?)

Talmud: The Islamic Bible. (Whoah!)

Vulgate: The part of the Bible that the Christians kept.

The Uncontested Letters of Paul: Judges? (Question mark in answer.)

Talmud: The thing the Jews all live on.

Jamnia: Some place in the middle east.

Marcion: I think I missed that class.

Best Whine: "I don't think this test was fair at all, because I got here late and had no desks left, and had to write this on my lap."

The best part is: MY MARKING IS FINALLY DONE! The bad news is, of course, there's another test in two weeks.

Sigh.
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