Classes started here at Laurier yesterday, but not for me. I have now finished my course component, so there shall be no more classes in my immediate future. I now have only my doctoral exams to get through this year, and I’m not even a TA this term.
So, yesterday the world started brand new classes, but not me.
I have been starting new classes every September since I was 5, in 1983. 23 years of starting out fresh with new teachers and new classmates, every fall.
Now I am left behind again. I am three again, watching my brother and sister go out for the bus, and not being able to go. So now what do I do? Watch Mr. Dressup and wait for it to be my turn?
So, yeah… I should be pleased, I guess, as no classes must seem awfully sweet to those poor souls who have to trudge off to school every day. But, really, it makes me kind of maudlin.
Something has changed. Some era has passed.
I’m going to miss classes, as much as I cursed over them.
I hate being left behind.
*
4 comments:
I feel old. In 1983 I was in my final year of high school.
Awwwwww! Well, you're still healthier than me, so it certainly evens out.
And, besides, you're a man - you're not old, you're mature. Lucky duck.
In all actuality though, you are the one who has left the others behind. Well, you and others at your level.
I always loathed the feeling of starting school and going to new classes and new teachers, etc. It gave me anxiety times ten. I couldn't imagine doing it every year since I was like, 4 or 5. Ugh.
I think the term "institutionalized" was created for sad-sacks like me.
:(
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