Memory Lane

Recently, I have been leafing through the archives of my life and marriage. Old photos, old blog posts, old emails, old files... painful pleasure, so acute I don't know which one wins out.

Tonight I turned around to ask Murph if he was ready to head to bed. But Murph is in Ohio. For that split second, I was so sure it was November again, and we were safe and happy in our own home. When I looked back and realized I was alone, reality caved in on me.

Right now, I would give anything to make that moment's error reality - to be able to look over my shoulder right now, take his hand, say "Time to turn in, love," and wrap myself in that bliss I miss so much. So many times we did this in November. Did we ever take it for granted? If so, I can promise I will never take it for granted again, once he is home.

Did you ever want to crawl into a memory and stay there forever?