Well, tonight I started definite and deliberate work on my dissertation. Not my proposal, not side papers, not reading for personal interest. For the actual dissertation. So that's pretty damn cool - and a bit scary, too, if you want to know the truth. This time next year, I am expected to be working on my conclusion. Yikes.
So, the bad news. Why did I start this work tonight? Because, unlike anywhere I have ever lived before, I am very nearly friendless. That's not entirely so - I have people I talk to occasionally, and people who email me to say hello, etc. But, as far as this place in which I live, I really don't have anyone I can call and say, "hey, want to see a movie?" without feeling weird for not making plans a week in advance.
Really, then, I guess it is no big deal to have started my dissertation work, since I did it out of loneliness. No great honours, there, I suppose.
Still, there's the gone but not forgotten old friends I have been visiting tonight, especially this one. I guess such contact, and those of my books, will have to do.
And I thought the loneliness ended with studying for my qualifying exams. Not by a long shot, sadly.
***
On loneliness:
No comments:
Post a Comment